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Original poster

To have not told him I arrived & expect to be picked up

175 replies

Poundinthepond · 05/06/2023 20:24

Just got back from a lovely weekend away for a hen party, first thing me I've ever left my DDs 9&4 that long

I noticed over weekend other wives speaking with their husbands, facetiming them, speaking with kids etc

My DH has hardly spoke to me and only replied when prompted

I appreciate if it's the first time I've left DDs that long it's first time he's had them alone they long but he is their dad after all

And he isn't in any way pissed off that I went. That's not where this is going.

Anyway getting to the point....

Transfer from airport was to bring us back to brides home which is only 5 min drive from our house but too long to walk with luggage so plan was for him to pick me up, I checked with him last night that he's okay to collect me and he said yes just tell me the time to get you

I text him when I landed

And my texts followed like this :

  1. In taxi from airport, ETA 1130 (1.5 hours) traffic depending, will let u know when 20 mins away
  1. ETA 11.25 (20 mins away)
  1. 5 mins away

(He didn't reply to any of these but he did read them)

Get to brides house and other hens get collected by husbands, greeted nicely, helped with luggage etc.

Im still waiting 15 mins later and he texts me saying what's taking so long

I rang him and said I'm here waiting for you!

He thinks I should've told him when I arrived as he was waiting around the corner for me to tell him then he was going to come to the house

Okay, so a bit strange but nonetheless in my opinion a miscommunication

He pulls up, doesn't get out the car and is in a.completely foul mood

Ruined my reuniting with youngest DD in car

He has been in a mood all day and feel like I've been walking on egg shells

He says he's unwell with sinus infection, fair enough, but he literally isn't interested in me at all and is in fact treating me with contempt

I know you shouldn't compare relationships but I can't help it in this situation

OP posts:
TaggySitz · 05/06/2023 20:29

You didn't call him when you were away. You didn't tell him you'd arrived. You've allowed him to ruin any kind of reunion with your kids. But he does sound like a dick.

MichelleScarn · 05/06/2023 20:32

Why didn't you just get the taxi to drop you back at home? Rather than the faff of his loading 4 yo into car? Was other dc left at home?

KateyCuckoo · 05/06/2023 20:34

When one of us goes away, the onus is on the traveller to keep in contact not the home stayer.

gamerchick · 05/06/2023 20:34

Sounds like he's going to make sure you don't go away and leave him with the kids again tbh.

Newusernameaug · 05/06/2023 20:35

I was going to say it sounds like he’s making sure you don’t go away again so is punishing you.

Knickerthief1 · 05/06/2023 20:35

Seems obvious to me that he should have been waiting when you got there! He's obviously in a strop about having to look after the kids but doesnt want to say that as he knows he being unreasonable! Re the calling though - I call home when away not vice versa.

mast0650 · 05/06/2023 20:36

You told him when you were 5 mins away. That's basically the same as telling him you have arrived and he should have left then. Or sent a message saying "shall I come now then?" to check you wanted to be picked up straight away. Very odd.

The bit about speaking while you were away? We tend not to speak much when we are away and that's fine with both of us. And it is definitely up to person who is away to initiate - partly because the person at home doesn't know when is a good time to ring.

dudsville · 05/06/2023 20:37

I read yours the the other posts. I get where you're coming from op. It's nice to be checked in on when you're away, but hard to send a nice pic of the kids being silly and include a note to ask after you, and i thought your arrival messages were clear enough. Sure you could have said "ready!", but he wasn't replying to any messages, which is odd behaviour, so he was already in a strop.

michelehu · 05/06/2023 20:38

I've just had the exact same thing when away on a girls holiday. He barely spoke to me like he usually would over text despite me trying - immediate thought was he was pissed off I was away, but I don't think that's it?? Now I'm back totally normal (though barely asked how it was) while I'm seething with resentment!

WashAsDelicates · 05/06/2023 20:40

You did not tell him when to get you. How was he to know you wanted him to be at the bride's house to pick you up when you arrived there? You might all have had a last drink together, for example. He sat and waited for you, but you complained.

All you needed to do was text him "Arrived. Ready to be collected."

Original poster
Poundinthepond · 05/06/2023 20:41

I did facetime on first day mainly spoke to youngest DD but by the end of the call when saying bye she was very upset so said it's best I don't FT again

I have been texting him and getting very short replies, I've asked about kids (one had dentist appointment) and it got ignored

Sent him photos of me etc not rubbing it in but it's nice to show Ur other half right ?

Just felt a bit meh about the lack of communication

And now this

OP posts:
Original poster
Poundinthepond · 05/06/2023 20:41

Absolutely not I did NOT complain about the miscommunication, I was laughing it off. HE complained

OP posts:
Original poster
Poundinthepond · 05/06/2023 20:42

WashAsDelicates · 05/06/2023 20:40

You did not tell him when to get you. How was he to know you wanted him to be at the bride's house to pick you up when you arrived there? You might all have had a last drink together, for example. He sat and waited for you, but you complained.

All you needed to do was text him "Arrived. Ready to be collected."

Absolutely not I did NOT complain about the miscommunication, I was laughing it off. HE complained and has been in a foul mood ever since

OP posts:
Original poster
Poundinthepond · 05/06/2023 20:43

michelehu · 05/06/2023 20:38

I've just had the exact same thing when away on a girls holiday. He barely spoke to me like he usually would over text despite me trying - immediate thought was he was pissed off I was away, but I don't think that's it?? Now I'm back totally normal (though barely asked how it was) while I'm seething with resentment!

I too don't think he's pissed off I went. But he certainly isn't normal now.

OP posts:
HerMammy · 05/06/2023 20:44

Ruined my reuniting with youngest DD in car
You were away for a weekend! sounds all very dramatic and needy.

originalglazedsingle · 05/06/2023 20:45

Knickerthief1 · 05/06/2023 20:35

Seems obvious to me that he should have been waiting when you got there! He's obviously in a strop about having to look after the kids but doesnt want to say that as he knows he being unreasonable! Re the calling though - I call home when away not vice versa.

I wouldn't put my kids in the car and wait for my husband solely on a vague "I am 5 minutes away". I'd leave the house once he'd told me he's there and ready to go.

Elevel · 05/06/2023 20:46

Neither of you communicated well or clearly. Also, ruined you "reuniting"? After one weekend?!

IAmAnIdiot123 · 05/06/2023 20:46

michelehu · 05/06/2023 20:38

I've just had the exact same thing when away on a girls holiday. He barely spoke to me like he usually would over text despite me trying - immediate thought was he was pissed off I was away, but I don't think that's it?? Now I'm back totally normal (though barely asked how it was) while I'm seething with resentment!

Why would you want him to constantly text you when away with your friends? That would be my idea of absolute hell! Just enjoy your time away with the people you have paid to spend time with!

OP - the sulking is ridiculous but I would have messaged when I arrived. I would expect the same courtesy if picking DP up following a jolly with his friends.

michelehu · 05/06/2023 20:46

Is it jealousy do you think - does he trust you/think you might have got up to something untoward and so is lashing out in this way?

Original poster
Poundinthepond · 05/06/2023 20:46

HerMammy · 05/06/2023 20:44

Ruined my reuniting with youngest DD in car
You were away for a weekend! sounds all very dramatic and needy.

How is it dramatic and needy, when I've never left my DD that long and was desperate to see her, as her me, which he even said in a text the day before. His mood in the car was horrible. Putting a damper on me and DD being together again.

Needy my arse.

OP posts:
Haywirecity · 05/06/2023 20:47

Oh my god, I had almost the same argument with my sister. She texted and asked if she should come pick me up in 5min. I said I'm ready when you are. She didn't come. Eventually I texted her. She said, she was waiting for me to say yes. My response told her nothing and didnt cut it. She picked me up and had another go. I happened to be testing my mums blood pressure wrist cuff. And while this was going on, I took my blood pressure. It was over 160!!! I said you're literally killing me here. Shut the eff up.
So many misunderstandings when texting.

Don't judge your relationship by what you think other people's are. Nobody knows what another relationship is like.

SarahAndQuack · 05/06/2023 20:47

How childish of him. You told him when you were 5 mins away!

He has made a huge deal out of something that should be routine.

ThatFraggle · 05/06/2023 20:47

Sounds like a dick

SarahAndQuack · 05/06/2023 20:48

(And, of course you were keen to see your DD! That is totally normal.)

Original poster
Poundinthepond · 05/06/2023 20:48

originalglazedsingle · 05/06/2023 20:45

I wouldn't put my kids in the car and wait for my husband solely on a vague "I am 5 minutes away". I'd leave the house once he'd told me he's there and ready to go.

Show quote history

How is I'm 5 mins away vague? We live 5 mins away
Wouldn't that prompt u to leave or do u think he should be spoon fed exact instructions. He was waiting around the corner in the car. I don't understand why he didn't pull up outside the house

OP posts: