Do you inform your next door neighbours every time you’re having a bbq?

[Lolabear38]

Last weekend my family and I had a bbq. The following day (Monday) I saw next door neighbour- I wouldn’t say I know them very well but always polite and say hi, smiles etc. This time however she looked mightily annoyed and said along the lines of ‘next time you decide to have a stinking bbq in your garden please let me know in advance, my washing was out drying and it got ruined. I had to do the whole lot again’. (It was a standard bbq, so yes bbq smells but nothing unusual). I was a bit taken aback by her tone but replied and said ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t even think. Next time I’ll give you a knock and you can take your washing in.’ She replied and said ‘No I won’t be taking my washing in, if I have washing out you won’t be able to have a bbq!’ And she stormed off.

Now, I’ll be honest it didn’t even occur to me to let the neighbours know I was having a bbq but yes ok I see that in future it would be courteous to let them know. But AIBU to think that even if NDN has clothes out I can have the bbq anyway?!

It's not 'common decency'. No one is responsible for your laundry except you. I would never expect my neighbors to alter their laundry habits for me or vice versa. Suck it up.

This. My washing never smells of my neighbour's BBQ.

We might call out to our neighbours if they're in their garden or send a text if we thought to. We certainly wouldn't go over to let them know though. No one does on our street. We live in terraced houses with narrow gardens and our washing never smells like smoke if someone is having a bbq.

My NDN is a horror, so now I just say loudly 'what time do you want to light the BBQ' in the garden lol!

She sounds batshit. Nobody round here ever asks permission to put the bbq on.

I'd have a bbq on a daily basis now. Hopefully she will move, preferably to the middle of nowhere, where bbq's won't disturb her.

I wonder just how big and how small these bbqs and gardens are that the washing genuinely needs to be re washed

I would be having a bbq every night for the rest of the summer

I'm glad there are other people here who admit to not warning neighbours. I was beginning to think I was the only one! None of our neighbours seem to have washing out though, so I don't think it's an issue where we are.

Clearly we all have the same issues with getting a washing line in to the ground, so no-one bothers!

Do you have the neighbour's phone number OP? If so, just text her next time saying "we're having a BBQ at 5pm" or whatever. If she kicks off telling you you can't, just say "I am afraid that you can't tell me what I can or can't do in my own property. I was telling you as a courtesy so you can bring your washing in if you like, but I will not be stopping having a BBQ.", swiftly followed by a "If you are going to act like this every time I tell you we're having a BBQ I'll just stop telling you." if she carries on.

Glad to see a generally sensible consensus on this thread. Some MN garden threads are nuts, with people who genuinely think it's the height of selfishness to so much as sneeze in your own garden.

It would be nice to warn her if you see she has washing out but she does sound like she’s be such a PITA that it would be easier for you to keep as far away from her as possible.

My parents and ILs always let their neighbours know and vice versa if they see washing out and they are about to BBQ but we don’t let our neighbours know because they smoke so we assume they don’t care about their washing smelling of smoke and they don’t let us know because they are too busy being generally annoying. I think it is the polite thing to do but obviously she is nuts to say you can’t have a bbq.

MN is the first (and only) place I've seen it suggested that neighbours should warn one another of an impending BBQ. I live rurally, and the smell of BBQ rarely wafts in our direction, but what really annoys me is when someone burns a stinky fire on a nice day, when people are likely to have their windows open. Still, I know that they're within their rights to burn crap as and when, so I just grumble and close the windows for a while.

Your neighbour has forfeited any polite warnings by suggesting that she can dictate when you BBQ. I'd probably just ignore her.

When my awful neighbours have a BBQ it goes on for hours, the smoke billows high into the air and even though I keep my doors and windows shut such is the quantity of the smoke and the length of time they are out there cooking my whole house ends up smelling. I am in a small 2 up 2 down terrace which means they are very close to me. I hate the smell of burnt meat. On the other side of me they seem to be able to manage to have a BBQ without causing clouds of smoke for hours on end so I guess it must down to the fuel and the equipment used and not doing it for the entire evening. It's about being considerate of others.

We do as we're in a terraced house with very small gardens so the smoke really will stink up your washing. I let them know the day before and vice versa.

Our gardens are less than 4m wide and about 5-6m long so you can’t get far from the line of smoke

Some people are extremely sensitive to smells particularly smelly food.
Not me, I think she sounds bat shit. No problem with the smell of meat and I'm a long time vegetarian.

I'd pre-warn my next door neighbours about bbqs but more from a noise point of view. There's no way she can stop you having a bbq, how ridiculous.

I used to live in a terrace where every sunny weekend both sides had barbeques at least one of the days of the weekend. I had two kids and worked full time, so washed their uniforms at the weekend, and tbh it would've been nice to have been able to dry them outside at least sometimes without the smell of burned meat wafting over the fence every weekend all summer long. It played a big part in the decision to move to a detached, even though I loved my terraced house.

I think it would have been polite to tell your neighbours that you were planning a barbeque because it can impact their enjoyment and use of their garden. However your neighbour has no right to tell you that you cannot have a barbeque, and as long as its not every weekend I don't think she has much to complain about.

I always go upstairs and have a quick check out the window to see if anyone has washing out. I would definitely let them know because I’d be upset if all my clean washing stank of smoke. Everyone here seems considerate though and don’t have BBQ’s until late afternoon/early evening so by then most have their washing in. She was a dick though for saying she won’t be getting it in if you do warn her next time

If they had the washing out. I’d pop over or send them a text. I think that’s common courtesy.

Is it not a bit creepy to be spying on neighbours in their in gardens and then knocking to say " i see your washing is out".
Sounds like she lacks boundaries and will try to control you .

If my next door neighbour had washing on the line, I would always go round or text out of courtesy.

I think next time I saw she’d hung out her washing I’d whip to the butcher’s and buy a few steaks and text all my friends.

My neighbours don't warn me. I just have to hope I'm home and can get the washing on quickly.
It does annoy me having to re-wash.

Depends on the layout of your gardens I guess. I literally can’t look out of some of my windows without seeing into someone’s garden. I’m sat at my dining table right now and can see into 3 other gardens!

I have 4 adjoining neighbours - one each side and 2 at the back. None of them have ever let me know they're having a bbq and i don't advise them when we are. DH lit the bbq yesterday and I knew neighbours were sitting on their patio. The breeze kept changing direction so i made DH move the bbq (it's on wheels) so the smoke didn't blow anywhere near them. I've no idea if they had washing out or not but surely it's their job to move it inside if they think the bbq smell is a problem.

Your neighbour is nuts if she thinks she can veto your bbq just because she's got washing out.