Do you inform your next door neighbours every time you’re having a bbq?

[Lolabear38]

Last weekend my family and I had a bbq. The following day (Monday) I saw next door neighbour- I wouldn’t say I know them very well but always polite and say hi, smiles etc. This time however she looked mightily annoyed and said along the lines of ‘next time you decide to have a stinking bbq in your garden please let me know in advance, my washing was out drying and it got ruined. I had to do the whole lot again’. (It was a standard bbq, so yes bbq smells but nothing unusual). I was a bit taken aback by her tone but replied and said ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t even think. Next time I’ll give you a knock and you can take your washing in.’ She replied and said ‘No I won’t be taking my washing in, if I have washing out you won’t be able to have a bbq!’ And she stormed off.

Now, I’ll be honest it didn’t even occur to me to let the neighbours know I was having a bbq but yes ok I see that in future it would be courteous to let them know. But AIBU to think that even if NDN has clothes out I can have the bbq anyway?!

If you live in close quarters with other people, expecting to be pre-warned of every little thing is just bonkers IMO.

People BBQ, they smoke, they socialise, they play music, they ride bikes and drive cars. That's just life. If you're so intolerant of other people living their lives then maybe just stay inside and stop hanging your washing out.

I'm surprised how big of a deal some people think this common courtesy is! I guess people are inherently more selfish than years gone by but it's sad.

No I wouldn't let any of my neighbours know, and I have only ever been told of large gatherings that includes a bbq, I wouldn't expect one, I'd just get my washing in.

Personally, I'd get another bbq on the go tonight just because.

Our NDNs on the right have been bbqing at least once a week and never warned us. I don't think I'd care enough about bbq smells to take washing in anyway, as long as the stains are cleaned and it doesn't smell of BO I certainly wouldn't rewash (not energy efficient!). The gardens here are tiny but I barely notice the smell.

She sounds like a cock womble. I’d be tempted to fire up the BBQ each time she has washing out.

Ignore her. I invite the neighbours if I'm actually having people round but otherwise I'm just making my dinner, I'm not running about the place making sure everybody knows.

No. Would never cross my mind, and I don't expect them to let me know either.

A BBQ isn't usually powerful enough to make someone else's washing unwearable anyway. I'd check for washing being out if I needed to have a fire, but not a BBQ.

Given her attitude and comments about how she wouldn't be moving her washing in then I wouldn't bother.

I wonder if she expects the met office to hold off the rain so she can dry her washing too?

Shes mental.
Nobody around here does that. So many gardens around that youd have to walk around corners trying to let eveyone know youre simply making dinner 🤣
If I smell heavy smoke or its starts raining, I take my washing in.

I do let our neighbours know.

After your neighbours shitty, rude response, I'd barbecue every meal for the rest of my life.

It wouldn’t even occur to me to warn a neighbour. I’d also think she was being super precious about her washing, I don’t believe the smoke from a barbecue in a next door garden is really going to ruin the washing. I’ve certainly never noticed any barbecue smells from neighbours causing issues with my washing, the weather is sunny enough she could have just left it on the line another 24 hours and if there was any smell it would have surely blown out.

Nope, and she sounds looney. I’d be having a bbq everyday if my neighbour acted like that. What else do you need to check, is it ok to cut the grass in case she doesn’t like the noise? Can you look the fences or
is that smell too bad?

The smell of BBQ makes me heave. Fortunately our neighbours rarely have them and we never do.

Does she want you to warn her when you're having a bbq or do you need to ask her permission first? I'm confused

Nope, nobody does round here. It's sufficiently normal behaviour on a sunny day that it couldn't be reasonably expected. I have invited neighbours before though, and been invited by them. So we'd often find out that way.

yanbu and i hate bbqs with a passion

Nope and they don't inform us when they're having a BBQ or lighting the fire pit.

If you live next to people then BBQ's etc are to be expected.

I do at least 50% of my cooking outside in the summer. Although mine is a gas grill, not charcoal so doesn't produce much smoke.

I couldn't constantly be knocking on my neighbours door, sometimes twice a day.

My neighbour yells across to offer me food that's the first I know usually but I don't/can't dry washing outside

When our neighbours were converting the old school next to us they didn't have a kitchen for a year. They used their bbq twice a day every day to cook the same cheap sausages. Absolutely stank of fat every day. I don't hang washing outside but we were sick to death of the smell after 12 months of it

I never tell my neighbour's!

and I’d be purposely having a bbq when she has her washing out now multiple times as she’s a rude Twat.

You can do what you want in your own garden, and she can suck it up. I wouldn't even bother to tell her next time. Who the fck does she think she is?

My neighbour hangs out a load every day (large family) and her back door is near mine, so yes I do give her a knock and warn her if I'm going to BBQ. She always comes and takes the washing in though, I don't think she'd ever demand I don't BBQ! I guess your neighbour was just stroppy due to the smell going on her clothes.

Next time you're planning one, pop a note through. Better than letting it build up into a big feud.

It wouldn’t cross my mind to inform neighbours of my intention to bbq.
Similarly, neighbours have never made me aware of their intention to bbq, and I am absolutely fine with that.

No definitely not. Mind you the farmers never told us when they were going to be spreading
slurry when we had washing out in our old house. Wonder how she would cope with that.