Do you inform your next door neighbours every time you’re having a bbq?

[Lolabear38]

Last weekend my family and I had a bbq. The following day (Monday) I saw next door neighbour- I wouldn’t say I know them very well but always polite and say hi, smiles etc. This time however she looked mightily annoyed and said along the lines of ‘next time you decide to have a stinking bbq in your garden please let me know in advance, my washing was out drying and it got ruined. I had to do the whole lot again’. (It was a standard bbq, so yes bbq smells but nothing unusual). I was a bit taken aback by her tone but replied and said ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t even think. Next time I’ll give you a knock and you can take your washing in.’ She replied and said ‘No I won’t be taking my washing in, if I have washing out you won’t be able to have a bbq!’ And she stormed off.

Now, I’ll be honest it didn’t even occur to me to let the neighbours know I was having a bbq but yes ok I see that in future it would be courteous to let them know. But AIBU to think that even if NDN has clothes out I can have the bbq anyway?!

Exactly!

Children also play with trampolines, swings, paddling pools etc!

go live somewhere remote and stop bothering your neighbours enjoyment of their garden,

This. My neighbours often do bbqs and I wouldn't expect them to warn me and neither do we warn our neighbours. I've never felt the need to take in my washing

But surely the smell is the same whether you light the barbecue for your own meal or for a party.
I hate the smell of it on clothes but just put my washing out very early in this weather and if a neighbour has a barbecue I bring it in. If I'm going out I would take in my washing on a weekend as people more likely to use the barbecue then.
Our layout means the garden back onto another street quite a walk away so I don't expect a heads up (but appreciate it if they do).

Well then. I'd be having a bbq every other day from now on. It is such lovely weather for it.

I think I might get a few fireworks for the weekend too. You should do the same OP.

In getting on for 60 years I have never notified my neighbours or been notified of a BBQ.

No, though I only have neighbours on one side so just put the bbq on the other side.

Because not everyone is selfish? In life not everything is about ourselves? You don't enjoy your garden any less by just giving neighbours a heads up (up to them then if they take washing in or not). I did grow up on a big estate mind and neighbours looked out for one another and didn't just think of themselves.

I wonder if you live next to my former upstairs neighbour who literally rang the police twice when we had barbecues.

First time she said I was going to set fire to her fence despite the barbecue being 30 feet away. Second time she said I was making her kitchen smell (???).

You can’t engage with nutjobs. They will literally never leave you alone. Ignore.

I posted some years ago about this very thing. My neighbour didn't like us BBQing, so we ended up texting her each time to say "we're planning a BBQ this weekend, would you rather we had it on Sat or Sun?" A lot of people thought I was giving NDN too much power.

She also had views on when the children should practice their instruments, and whether we should own a chiming clock.

She herself owned a very annoying wind chime.

We've since moved house to a place with very far away neighbours, and this complainy neighbour was one of the catalysts for doing so.

If I could see washing on the line I would text them out of courtesy. Would I change my plans? Would I fuck.

My guess is you’ve not lived there long and this woman is trying to assert some authority over you for the future.

We would never ‘warn’ our neighbours about having a bbq, and we would not expect them to warn us either. You are just living your life on your own property. The only time I would speak to my neighbours apart from general niceties would be if we were having work done that would present an inconvenience to them such as having builders in with lots of noise etc.

Don’t apologise for something that people do all over the country on a sunny afternoon. If you do you will end up apologising for all sorts everytime she feels like a ruck.

Our neighbours have BBQs when they have their own washing on their line. They're certainly not going to think about informing us ...

With an attitude like that I'd be tempted to have MORE BBQs. How dare she tell you that you won't be barbecuing when she has laundry out!

I do tend to say to neighbours if I see their washing is out and they're outside but I don't usually go out of my way and knock on their door to warn them.

It's not selfish to have a BBQ in your own garden 😂

We let our neighbours know as ours can be a bit smoky, but your neighbours response is crazy! You don't need to re wash your washing because someone has had a bbq! Maybe you could let her know the day before you plan to have one, so if she hangs out her washing that's on her.

Yeah I’d let them know if there was washing hanging out but I certainly wouldn’t not have one because of that.

BBQs are over-rated anyway!

Oh god my neighbours are always having bbq’s and we are always the ones have long our washing out!

not once have I got annoyed, I just take it in as soon as I realise and if it sticks wash again.

like I said we ALWAYS have washing out so not their fault.
just one of those things about living near others, their life doesn’t revolve around you 🤷‍♀️

Our neighbours don't warn us, we don't warn them. No-one has any problems with the state of affairs.

@Teabab

The problem is with these types of people though that once they get a taste for being “notified” of stuff like this they start to see it as their birthright and you will then be expected to run any outdoor activities that take place at over 10 decibels past them.

People have a right to use their gardens as they see it and as long as they’re not creating nuisance.

Micro-managers gonna micromanage but no need to make it easy for them.

No! Continue as you are. Sod her.

We’ve had bbqs and my own washing has been out. Didn’t have to wash it again.

Yeah selfish bastard ……. Having a bbq, his very date they!

🙄

You've changed your position between posts. In the first one you said you "wouldn't allow" your husband to have a barbecue if anyone had washing out. By the second one, you apparently did "allow" it but forewarned your neighbours, which to be honest seems a more sensible approach.

I have never been warned.
And I have never told my neighbours either.

I have a look to see if any immediate neighbours have washing out and if they do will forewarn them eg "we are doing a bbq in a few hours if you wanted to get your washing in".

That's just fucking rude though. I would bbq every single day for the next two weeks but I'm a petty bitch

I don’t know what my neighbour puts on her bbq as the smoke from it fills the garden and our house if we have any windows and doors open. It also stinks of cheap greasy meat.