To just let my 1 year old cry it out

[justwanttobe]

My 13 month old is still waking a lot in the night and only a bottle gets him to finally settle down again.

It's usually twice a night. I'm just so fed up and exhausted.

He usually has no problem going down at bed time, but has now started to cry when I leave the room too. ( usually he was happy if he had a bottle, I could just walk out ).

During the day, it's really hard to get anything done too.
He's always clingy and wants to be held a lot.

I am really struggling with energy levels and can't take it anymore.

I want to have more rest in the quickest possible way. I don't want to prolong it. I hate leaving him to cry, it's stressful and not ideal, but I think it's yeh quickest way..

Of course but that's older than this baby who probably has no teeth yet I was replying to the danger aspect .....awful experience for you did it give you a fear of dentists?

Nope he didn't 🤣 I refused to pick him up. I needed to starfish!

Exactly. It depends.

No one says that though, it is always straight to the extreme example of crying for hours and covered in vomit.

Mine is 6 months and doesn't have any teeth yet but I did think most have at least 1 by their birthday.

My DC love getting teeth so much they’re cracking on with molars by nine months; babies without teeth always make me do a double take. I wouldn’t sleep train with leave-the-room cry-based methods for mine for that reason – often they’re crying because of fucking teeth. Not against nudging sleep in the right direction, though. Bought into all the “Romanian orphans! Martyr yourself! It’s normal!” nonsense with my first; second time around I can’t parent both children well or sometimes at all on the crap sleep – roll on six months and some tough love.

It depends on the comment. If someone doesn't want to do it, that's fine, I don't think it automatically makes them a martyr.

But if they carry on about babies screaming for hours, vomit, neglect when they have no experience of CIO and how they were awake every 40 minutes for 4 years but they survived so other people can too. I do roll my eyes and think martyr.

@SparklingMarkling what does your teenager say about this?

@justwanttobe I did the putting them down then leaving them for longer and longer increments at 14 months and it worked perfectly. By night three I could put him down in his own room and he'd nod off and stay asleep. Don't disregard it because it didn't work for your older child.

Mine slept in bed with me until 2, slept through.

Went into own room at 2 and woke multiple times in the night until age 6 when I put her back in my bed.

Now sleeps through again. I sleep with her, she's 7. It just works.

I used a sling much of the time, you can feed in there and get things done. I often used a pen and walker too but she still mostly cried for me.

I think trying to engineer needing your mother out of children is not working, or at least we have a few hundred years to go.

I am also of the opinion that leaving a child to cry for their mummy in a dark room for hours until they give up is horrifying. You will come up against many relatives and friends who will have you believe the "3 night CIO" method is a rite of passage. I always feel like their assertiveness comes from a place of guilt.

I have two very bad sleepers. One is now 5 and we still lay with him so he can fall asleep and he now sleeps through. I actually love that time with him. He sometimes orders me out of the room but calls me back after 10 mins so I know that time is around the corner when he asks me to do one.

My second is 2 and still rocked to sleep. Takes 10 mins. She used to wake hourly but now goes through until 3am before the restless part begins. It is tough but I am glad we have supported them this far.

@ChiefWiggumsBoy

what does my teen boy say on the matter? Well not much, it’s certainly not something I would dwell on now despite regretting it.

Irrespective of what he would say, attachment issues can also present unconsciously well into adulthood, so what he says or doesn’t say at this point wouldn’t matter. It’s done and I can’t turn back the clock.

He seems well adjusted and happy but I can’t be one of those “ahh well mine turned out okay” kinda poster. You live and learn and I learnt better for subsequent babies.

@Achwheesht thank goodness there is another one of me out there! I am still thanking my lucky stars that I have never had to handle bedtime for two on my own.