To just let my 1 year old cry it out

[justwanttobe]

My 13 month old is still waking a lot in the night and only a bottle gets him to finally settle down again.

It's usually twice a night. I'm just so fed up and exhausted.

He usually has no problem going down at bed time, but has now started to cry when I leave the room too. ( usually he was happy if he had a bottle, I could just walk out ).

During the day, it's really hard to get anything done too.
He's always clingy and wants to be held a lot.

I am really struggling with energy levels and can't take it anymore.

I want to have more rest in the quickest possible way. I don't want to prolong it. I hate leaving him to cry, it's stressful and not ideal, but I think it's yeh quickest way..

I had a sleep trainer for mine. A good one will look at your baby's daily routine and identify where we could possibly be going wrong and then work on the sleep part. We had our awake times and nap times all wrong, even though we thought having a very loose routine was better. Also, the evening bath hyped my ds up rather than calmed him down which we didn't even think of. Lots of other little things and he settled down really well.

I'll be honest. I have 3. 1 drove me to cio. He's 11. Doing well. He's cuddly. We talk. I'm not sure what I'm suppose to regret. How old are yours? What is your actual experience with cio other than you have decided it doesn't suit you?

Milk can dribble across the baby's face and go into the ear. This can cause ear problems in later life.
My grandson was impossibe to nap during the day, or to go to sleep at night. Eventually, the cause was discovered. Even though he was given sufficient food, it turned out that he was hungry. When the food was increased, he slept. Some babies just need more than you think.
If you don't know the reason your baby is crying, imo it is unreasonable to leave them to cry.

You’ve made your point.

Honestly, they're fine. They learn bedtime is bedtime. That's been my experience.

It was such a relief. I would wake up to a happy, smiling 18 month old. I'd do all the stuff I was rubbish at when I was up all night. It took 3 nights I believe. Imagine having a stressed out, miserable, tired mum. That's damaging for both!

When I did it, i didn’t fall asleep without a care in the world. I lay there with my heart rate and anxiety going through the roof listening to him, thinking I was doing the right thing by letting him cry so that he would sleep better. It did work, but on reflection if I could turn back time, I still wouldn’t do it.

For me it was a case of immaturity and believing older generations on how to undertake parenting. I certainly didn’t just roll over and go to sleep myself.

You clearly want to do it op so what's the point of this thread? You are quick to shoot down anyone who says no. You clearly just wanted a bunch of people to say yes it's fine so that you don't feel so bad about doing it but the thread isn't panning out that way.

I personally could never do it and currently have a 1 year old who sleeps very badly so know how it feels.

If he will only settle after a bottle then maybe he is hungry?

Twice a night is pretty good at that age. I know it's hard, I've been there and my kids slept worse. I didn't CIO and I'm glad looking back. Do you have a partner who can help with the wake ups and/or giving you extra sleep some mornings? I had the latter which got me through. It will get better on its own.

Good

No. I just don't think there needs to be as much judgement. I can accept a different opinion and I'm willing to listen. But some posters seem extremely judgmental.

Luckily people rethink old methods.

My kids are in their 40s and I didn't do it

I very much doing any mother who does CIO can just roll over and go to sleep. Fathers, probably!

Why is it impossible? (unless you're dealing with another child)

@Nanny0gg not all old methods are bad though, in general. Not saying CIO is good. But I reject the notion that all old methods are bad. I feel like lots of mums nowadays completely turn their noses up at anything older generations did with their kids. I don't.

I'd try controlled crying first. He's definitely old enough to learn how to self settle and it is good for him to be getting the correct amount of sleep he needs to grow and develop.

@Nanny0gg yeah dealing with the safety of another child, for example, means your baby might need to cry sometimes. It's just how life is sometimes. Or if you have twins, it just happens sometimes and babies survive.

Ignoring a crying 13 month old is lazy, bad parenting

Agreed. It's cruel. He's a baby ffs.

@RosettaTheGardenFairy i agree with you. Awful thought to leave a little one crying out for you.

Eh?
i didn’t do it with my first. He has massive sleep issues.
ignored the other two when they were old enough to not need milk in the night and they slept though beautifully. No sleep issues now.
part of your job as a parent is to teach your child to sleep and I feel I failed with DC1.

There’s crying for a few minutes out of necessity, often with a parent there, and then having their needs met as soon as practicable. And then there’s deliberately shutting a child in a room alone to cry for as long as it takes for them to give up, to teach them that at night time they’re on their own, Mummy needs her sleep.

Those things just aren’t the same.

@underneaththeash

Its your job as a mum to respond to your babies emotional needs. The sleep will come in time, it’s not something that generally needs to be “taught”.

So, yes, I do very much regret using CIO on baby number one, and if I could turn back the time I would absolutely not do it.

If you want some help to have support around sleep and to not CIO I highly recommend The Beyond Sleep Training Project (both public page and private group) on FB

Personally I wouldn't let my babe CIO, but I have absolutely considered it in the pits of sleep regressions and shit sleep, but I've got to say I am very glad I didn't and plodded on with responsive parenting.

My lo loves bed time, she knows she is safe and asks to go to bed/have a nap, if she wakes up through the night and cries we just go in and hold her hand and she instantly falls back to sleep but normally she will put herself back to sleep no problem as she has learned we will always be there for her. Its taken a long time but I think it's a better outcome than having a child worried/anxious about bed time, or who doesn't think someone will come, even if they need something, so they don't bother crying.

I hope you get some sleep soon ❤️

I know it’s really hard, I’ve been there with the toddler and a baby and it’s utterly exhausting. I didn’t do any sleep training though, and I am glad. If you can avoid it, then I really would. Try other things as pp suggest.