To think perimenopause can make you feel all over the place mentally

[Lifeswhatyoumakeit73]

I am 50 and well into perimenopause but am just about coping with the physical symptoms. It’s the mental & emotional stuff that’s really affecting me:

• overwhelm- at certain points in the month I genuinely feel like i cant cope with anything and I just want to take to my bed or run away
• a feeling of wanting to change everything but I can’t as I have 2 kids and that makes me feel a bit trapped
• can’t be arsed with anything- cleaning, cooking, my job- anything (that feeling tends to be worse when I have pms)
• Not wanting to work anymore!!! I have a lovely job supporting students at a university but have NO interest in it!
• Can’t cope with the kids problems - I feel overwhelmed by worry - I have a 15 year old and an 11 year old.

etc etc. I have days when I want to live simply without any responsibility, possessions etc!! I feel like it’s sending me a bit mad to be honest!

Anyone else?! It’s definitely worse with PMT and with the monthly fluctuations of hormones- I feel those more than I ever have to be honest.

Its the overwhelm though that really feels rubbish!

Of course. I can relate to most of this.

HRT, exercise and minimal alcohol help a lot for me. These things together have basically saved me from the worst impacts of the menopause.

I am slightly younger but feel exactly the same. I have been reading about it, but can’t as yet see what to do to help address it.

I can totallyesonate with this. No advice OP but following with interest

Yes you are spot on op. I didnt find hrt great plus weight piled on. I havent same tolerance for people lol. Same age as you

Me too

Sometimes I wonder if it is Perimenopause or I have finally worked out that life ain’t all it is cracked up to be and I have been deluding myself all these years.

And yes, work stresses me out massively. Even though I love my job and am good at it, I would quit work in a heartbeat if we were financially secure, just to be rid of the constant stress.

@Thepeopleversuswork yes same- I barely drink these days, make sure I get as much sleep as I can, eat well, exercise etc.

Not on HRT as I had a bad experience with it a couple of years ago but got a meno nurse call in a couple of weeks to discuss again

I found hrt didn't alleviate the meh feeling or the anxiety it just made me more hormonal so i quit. Anti depressants gave me abnormal bleeding. So i try to swim when i can and go walks. My kids are older so i have freedom now. But what i really want to do, as I've said before on here, is sit at the window and stare out, like an old cat.

@ssd yes, that’s all I want to do too! I want to sea swim, walk in the hills, travel & live in a tiny minimalist house!

And yes it’s a massive MEH feeling! That’s exactly it!

Yes! A few weeks ago I told my husband that I feel like I'm losing my mind. Helpless rage for no reason, weepy, wanting to hide from the world, feelings of 'what is the point', feeling doom for no reason, then a few days feeling good and motivated-- it is bonkers. That said I have always been very hormonal so who knows what is going on.

Oh my god yes. Sit at the window and stare out is so right.

i am counting down to retirement so I can do just that. But I have 12 YEARS to go 😭😭😭

I've decluttered most of my house and got rid of anything and everything that has no purpose or sentimental value. I've left the DC things, they are theirs. But in terms of stuff in our house we now only predominately have furniture & kitchen items. I too just want to swim, be by the sea, long walks, minimal possessions, sit in the sun. I would love to live abroad but that will probably never happen. I don't want drama, not interested in drinking much these days. Just a simple life

Right ladies I can defo help with this!

1. Talk to your docs asap as you don't need to go through this. Don't be fobbed off with anti-depressants, that won't sort the cause!

2. Organise a blood test (private full blood profile £350) or NHS (hormone levels only, oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone)

3. We are all different levels but this will prove where your levels are now and if low. You may also need Vitamin D (from sun/supplements) which helps absorption of hormones. And exercise helps too.

4. Get the patch which u change x2 week (oestrogen & progesterone)

5. Then get testosterone (testogel) which gives you energy & focus. Say to docs its for your libido as that's only reason they prescribe it (casual misogyny)

Passing on from bitter experience and honestly life is SOO much better now.

Do it for you, your family and your partner as it will affect you all.
😜😊

I was totally unhinged until I started HRT.
I would definitely have been one of the poor women committed if I was born 100 years ago. I could barely walk to the end of the drive to put the recycling out because I couldn’t cope with bumping into a neighbour or someone walking past. I just wanted to shut myself away.

I still can’t cope with too many people, strong smells, DH touching me. I feel absolute overload at the slightest thing.

God yes. Mine came on like a bloody thunderbolt and it's totally changed me. If I could run away and be free somewhere else I would do it. I've felt absolutely all at sea, am definitely in emotional affair territory, I just feel trapped and a bit crazy. Classic mid-life crisis stuff.

Yes but I've felt like this for a few years on and off and I'm only just starting peri I think. Certainly get times I can't cope with too many people in my space, making too much noise or asking me questions. I used to get it mainly when PILS were staying. I enjoy the company of very few people now. I feel overwhelmed by the house being too big and hard to keep tidy, which is a stupid thing to worry about. I've recently had a lighbulb moment, realising I need to start organising more things for myself so I'm starting Zumba, netball, joining a choir and will be planning regular trips out to galleries and museums, which is fairly easy from where I live but I always feel I can't because I should be at home.

I absolutely agree.
Ive written on MN before about wanting to buy an island just for me and the dog.

I also feel trapped, and also occasionally feel like people look at me as if I’m mad.
I love my job, but can’t be bothered with all the hoop jumping and bureaucracy.
I hate housework with a passion, but want to live in a tidy house.

I feel exactly what you have described, op. I want to put life on pause for a while and just potter and read books.

Me too.
I’m 44. Can’t take HRT for medical reasons. I have realised that the peri-menopause is the reason to work part time, not childcare.

Of course it does.

HRT isnt the be all and end all. Sometimes we need to look at the bigger picture too. Kids still youngish, at home, busy lives, dipping in and out of your life when it suits them....husband or partner working...everyone needing fed and cant seem to do anything....washing piling up and ironing...work busy and stressful....EVERYONE else has a perfect life except you....

No wonder we're fed up with it all

Totally get this. I have two teens with various issues and I swear if something else crops up I honestly don't know how to carry on parenting. The urge to run for the hills is immense! I'm still having periods, though irregular- really long cycle this one and the pmt was disabling.

Massive sympathy 🌻

There's a thread on the go just know about calm and organised families...and most replies are people that get up at the crack of dawn and facilitate their family having an easier, well organised life...

Im sitting on my hands to stop myself typing WAIT TILL YOUVE DONE IT FOR 20 YEARS LOVE YOU'LL BE DEMENTED

But i dont. Cos im nice. And they wouldn't believe me anyway.

Ah Op, I feel you. Could have written your post - it was me and how I feel there on the page. I’ve never done well on hormones, so reluctant to dive into HRT as it feels like there’s a strong chance it could make things even worse. I also have unfair weight gain (unfair as I’m not eating any more or doing less - if only!). It’s so utterly shit.

Solidarity to you and all on this thread who are suffering.