To think perimenopause can make you feel all over the place mentally

[Lifeswhatyoumakeit73]

I am 50 and well into perimenopause but am just about coping with the physical symptoms. It’s the mental & emotional stuff that’s really affecting me:

• overwhelm- at certain points in the month I genuinely feel like i cant cope with anything and I just want to take to my bed or run away
• a feeling of wanting to change everything but I can’t as I have 2 kids and that makes me feel a bit trapped
• can’t be arsed with anything- cleaning, cooking, my job- anything (that feeling tends to be worse when I have pms)
• Not wanting to work anymore!!! I have a lovely job supporting students at a university but have NO interest in it!
• Can’t cope with the kids problems - I feel overwhelmed by worry - I have a 15 year old and an 11 year old.

etc etc. I have days when I want to live simply without any responsibility, possessions etc!! I feel like it’s sending me a bit mad to be honest!

Anyone else?! It’s definitely worse with PMT and with the monthly fluctuations of hormones- I feel those more than I ever have to be honest.

Its the overwhelm though that really feels rubbish!

Actually patches aren't great as the dosage can't be tweaked in the same way creams and gels can. Also, the adhesive can be an irritant for some. Creams and gels far better.

Also, while hormone panels are useful, they're only a snapshot of the hormones at the time the blood was drawn. Also, many GPs cannot read the results properly. Also, FSH is a pretty essential part of the female panel as this can indicate an issue if oestrogen levels are fine.

Not all GPs will prescribe testosterone.

But yes, seek help and if you're not getting anywhere if a GP, see a specialist. Don't be fobbed off with antidepressants and take vitamin D.

Lastly, read the NICE guidelines thoroughly as GPs are supposed to prescribe HRT based on symptoms rather than bloods.

Following this thread as currently on hrt but struggling. Putting on loads of weight, can’t get to see my GP. Feeling very sorry for myself at the moment, feels like i am going out of my mind.

I was like you, I never did well on hormones to the extent I was told to avoid hormonal contraception full stop. I had a terrible time during perimenopause, so was really apprehensive about HRT. While the GP wasn't helpful and prescribed completely the wrong thing which made anything worse, I saw a specialist and it was life-changing.

To those who are experiencing weight gain while on HRT, go back and speak to your prescriber as this is often indicative of the dosage being incorrect - HRT should not cause weight gain.

@Lifeswhatyoumakeit73 you are not alone, I relate to what you say. Dinner is my nemisis😂

I seem to remember that many years ago that some women were put on Valium or sent to psychiatric hospitals at this age.

Absolutely this.

I remember years ago a woman at work, single parent of a teenage boy and an 18-year-old girl. The older one constantly had some kind of drama, I remember the mum saying to me that she wished they would just both leave her alone. And to my shame, I remember thinking, oh, but your children need you, etc, etc. My own children were 3 and 1 at the time and I had totally underestimated the longer-term impact of keeping up the support of everyone around you.

The peri-menopause can start up to 10 years' before the meno so it sounds like you've started the journey xx

I was feeling like this.

Things that have helped me- daily high dose vitamin D. Plus multivitamin and high dose starflower oil. Exercise every day. Ideally outside, but gym will do.

This helped about 25%.

The last 75% was Oestrogel & utrogestan. Worked like a miracle for me after 2 weeks. I stopped wanting to run away.

I feel like this and I’m not perimenopausal yet! Not discounting that you are, of course, but I think there’s a lot of postpandemic rose-tinted specs coming off, looking at life and the work treadmill and thinking “fuck this, for the rest of my days? Let me be freeeee”

But what i really want to do, as I've said before on here, is sit at the window and stare out, like an old cat.

oh @ssd perfectly put.

nearly every women have spoken too have gained weight too. Trying to speak to my GP is like booking a trip to the moon. My skins is awful too.

Yep 51 same here. On HRT and my middle is growing - I seem to have a huge belly. Not weight gain but just gain in my stomach area. Some days I find things hard to cope with round about the time I would normally get my period I think. I had to change my progesterone intake as I was getting periods every 2 weeks taking one pill per night. 2 pills for the first 15 days seems to have stopped this. My anxiety is off the scale sometimes anyway as DH has prostate cancer and complications after surgery and some days I feel like I'm going insane.

Yep, you've described me. I don't want to do anything other than potter about tending to my plants and look after nature as much as possible. Don't want to be around other people, and yes the realisation that life is just a lot of running around and stress.

One good thing, I've got the tiny house, in the middle of nowhere, and have already got 8 cats to go with it.

And I'm on hrt, it hasn't changed at all how I feel about things.

Interesting that you mention testosterone. A friend has been on testosterone for about three years and swears by it: says its been much more effective for her than HRT. I am doing pretty well on HRT but I do like the sound of the additional energy and focus.

The GP who prescribed HRT to me said testosterone wasn't recommended though and said I'd have to go down the private medicine route for this. Who would you go to for this?

Yes me too. Feel overwhelmed by pretty much everything. Worry myself to death about teenage daughter who is a handful. Want to run away and live alone with the dog with no phone service! Contemplate this on a weekly basis. Been on HRT a few months now- not sure it makes any difference. My life is stressful and I am unable to get any perspective on anything .

It’s interesting hearing about peoples experiences of HRT- i did try it 2 years ago but it gave me awful visual migraines & other weird symptoms.

I am open to trying it again - I also feel sometimes like maybe these feelings are part of setting ourselves free eventually! I just need to be able to function in the meantime & I am finding it hard!!

I could have written this post except I’m a bit younger. It’s awful! I’m irritable and have no energy to do anything.
I’m on HRT and have gained almost 2 stones. I hate it when people spout the ‘it doesn’t cause weight gain bollocks’ I’m yet to meet anyone who hasn’t gained weight with it. Like others have said, it’s mostly around my middle too. No amount of dieting or exercise helped so I’ve recently reduced the dose from 50 to 25 and am slowly starting to lose a few pounds. It is coming off much slower than it used to though.

I have no doubt about any of this. But well balanced, correctly prescribed HRT should not do any of this. However, and unfortunately, many GPs do not understand or even know how to properly prescribe HRT, they just follow guidelines blindly, and when something does not work/solve the issues, they're out of their depth and don't know what to do. This is why patches are particularly bad, oral HRT too, because neither can be tweaked for the individual.

Using me as an example, I take the lowest dose of oestrogen possible, along with the highest dose of progesterone. My GP has me on the opposite. I also take testosterone, something many GPs won't/can't prescribe, and for many, without testosterone, their hormones still aren't balanced hence a myriad of issues. And really that's what it is all about - balancing hormones. It's a specialism, and most GPs just are not qualified.

If whatever you're taking isn't working and still causing issues, insist on being referred to a menopause clinic or specialist. Or if you can afford it, see a specialist privately. Most are happy to send a prescription for your GP that can be dispensed by the NHS.

I get incredibly angry for all the women on HRT who are still having issues due to incorrectly prescribed/dosed HRT. It really shouldn't be like this.

This sums me up to a tee.

i can tell when I ovulate due to pain & slight spotting. The next day? I’m like the person who wants to be an old cat and stare out of the window. My mood doesn’t plummet, i just feel blank. Or tearful. My mind goes fuzzy. I don’t want to do anything. Then the anxiety starts. Pre-period, I go off my rocker with anxiety and low mood. I want to cry. Period comes, things get better.

Then, I go the complete opposite way. I start with a brief day of anxiety where I again, feel off my rocker. but then it’s a good week, I am like a fucking bouncing rocket of productivity, ideas, I can clean the house in two hours flat, do all my work, excel with my child and feel like mum of the year. Untouchable.

then ovulate and ppppfffftttttt, the balloon has burst and it all goes bad again.

it’s tied to my cycles, no doubt. Noticed it years ago. But recently, it’s got really bad. I’m about to turn 38 so I’m wondering if it’s the beginning of perimenopause.

excited for the next 10 years if so 🙄

I’m on HRT - have been for 5 years - and I haven’t gained weight. However I’m on oestrogen progesterone & testosterone and I do think the testosterone makes a difference and it’s a real shame most GPs won’t prescribe it. I have to get mine privately.

I do find that I give far fewer fucks than I used too & I very much enjoy that though it makes work far more annoying than it used too. I just want to retire & do whatever I want.

I wouldn't mind a padded cell if i could take my book.

Where would I go to see someone privately? Did your GP refer you?

@Iceicebabytoocold i went to the Bristol menopause clinic. They were really good 😊

Was all online because during covid