Pools and neighbourhood kids

[Imdonewithsergio]

do your neighbours automatically assume their children can use your kids paddling pool? We have one neighbour who will literally send her child out with her swimming costume on if our pool is out. Child is 4. We have a large family (5 kids under 8). So I don’t feel comfortable having another little boy to add to the mix. I’ve tried speaking to them but I’m made out to be a selfish killjoy. The child in question is absolutely wild and my own kids give up and end up out the pool. She also sends her child into other neighbours gardens to use their pool/slide/water table/trampoline etc. it’s getting to the point I dread sunny days as this child just assumes they can come in here and use everything (the pool in particular bothers me as it’s the safety aspect. My youngest is 3 months old so I’m fairly busy as it is, trying to deal with a baby and watch my own young kids in water. Even with DH here it we are keeping a constant eye on them).

Am I just being miserable though?

This ❤️ 😂

They are just being shif parents, that can be arsed so they drop him at yours.. it’s not your fault they would chance it with anyone who moved next door. Just need to be strong and assertive and say NO, or start putting all your kids over the fence daily and I’m sure she will want that to stop. Just say oh I though your DS needed friends to play with.. 😂 maybe she needs to know how it feels 🤷‍♀️ use her back or tell her NO not cool..

Imagine if that child got hurt or drowned etc she's being a terrible mum and offloading her kid on you all. I'd be taking him back to hers and saying buy your child a pool and slide etc and stop using all ours. It's one thing if the children play together and are mates but that's not the case. She's letting her kid go to strangers houses who she dosnt even no. I find that bad.

Is there a child protective services where you live?? Call them and report this. Those parents are putting their child at risk and if anything happens they'll say its your fault. Worse case have a camera put up so you can catch them in their act.

FOUR YEARS OLD?! And no parent?! Um, Call DCFS. That is NOT OK!

wow!

Call CPS. Maybe give the mom one warning that you will do so, but after that call CPS. If you want further validation or for CPS to take you more seriously, contact your home insurance about the situation and they're lawyers can send a warning to the mom and CPS. This will absolve you of any legal responsibility of the mother's neglect.

When I was small about 6-8 years old. I joined a neighbour trip to local club that consist of swimming pool which they are a member. Coming from modest household I am not . So one time , I join my neighbour kid goes there. Guest have to pay extra actually but if I am not mistaken , I do not have to pay. There no additional cost to them.however during swimming, I saw their father talking to another adult by the side.looking at my younger self very angry while saying he didn't work hard for other people child to enjoy. Being kid I never understand that . But I got a hint, that two or three times when I knew they want to go when I want to join they cancel the trip.

Sad yes.anger yes too. But it is their right wether to allow external people to join or not . In your case if any accident in your pool , you will be responsible.woukd suggest you fence up.and simply say no.

I'd love to know if there is any update to this thread.

I cannot even say how annoying it is to see a thread, follow that thread and never get any update. Some of it is nosiness on my part but I really think people should update if they got the problem solved or not.

Hi I just saw this- I’m rubbish at working this site and didn’t know there were newer notifications. Just an update- we stayed firm in not having him over and they were livid. Essentially it all came to a head one day when they were stood there with him in his swimming gear in tears as we said no. Called us selfish bastards and that we had let their little boy down. We did point out that we never invited him in to begin with but they didn’t seem to take that on. My other neighbours (religious family who I mentioned before) went round to their door later that day and gently pointed out that they felt the same way.

So now they blank us all which is awkward but somewhat less stressful to deal with.

Color me not shocked OP, but being ignored by CFs is definitely one for the win column. Thanks for the update!

Thanks for your update @Imdonewithsergio I did wonder if everything got sorted in the end. I went through similar with a neighbour. Everytime I arrived home from work, the dad would be waiting at his door with his small child. I'd pull up and by the time my front door was opened, he told his girl to run inside my house! At first I was polite, wondering what I'd done wrong for this to have happened. I asked the girl how come she was at the door, she said her dad told her she could come over, so to run over! I had to basically only open the door when they left, they'd hang around making small talk. 40 minutes later they got the hint and went back indoors. I did this every time, to stop her from running inside. Yes she was a nice girl but it wasn't fair to volunteer my services as a babysitter for 1.5 hours after work! So I understand what it's like. You did the right thing. Their child was crying because they'd promised him something, without asking you! Thats naughty. At least they know now. I'm glad your other neighbour said the same to them too.

Thanks for the update! Love a happy ending (well, not for the child, who remains stuck with idiot parents).

Thanks for the update Op & well done on standing your ground!

Was he an.only child
My bet was he was lonely and wanted to play with other kids
That's actually normal for kids to want to.join in with neighbours kids when they hear them.

Then his parents could have invited the OP's children into their garden to play in their own pool couldn't they!

Instead they wanted a one way deal - always the OP looking after their kid!

Score, they now ignore you!

Decent parents of "only's" invite children to their home, so this would NEVER arise.

The CF brigade can't be surprised when people like the OP have zero interest in being unpaid childcare.

Other children are a HUGE responsibility, particularly around water.

I wouldn't tolerate it, uninvited, for a moment.

Well done OP.

@Imdonewithsergio I think that's a win. Good job standing your ground.

Glad that it has stopped. Really showed their CF true colours by their current behaviour.

Well done OP!

Frankly the perfect resolution. I can’t believe they were such cfs!

He has siblings but they are much older (teens) and never home. I agree, it’s normal to want to play with others but I really do have my hands full with my own children.

Wow!
Just wow! So much CFery! Literally have no words!!

Totally normal for a child to want to play. Not normal for that child’s parents to assume someone else will facilitate them being looked after in their pool whilst they do nothing.

How has neigbour relations been since?

So now they blank us all which is awkward but somewhat less stressful to deal with.

Good for you for standing your ground with these cheeky sods!