Pools and neighbourhood kids

[Imdonewithsergio]

do your neighbours automatically assume their children can use your kids paddling pool? We have one neighbour who will literally send her child out with her swimming costume on if our pool is out. Child is 4. We have a large family (5 kids under 8). So I don’t feel comfortable having another little boy to add to the mix. I’ve tried speaking to them but I’m made out to be a selfish killjoy. The child in question is absolutely wild and my own kids give up and end up out the pool. She also sends her child into other neighbours gardens to use their pool/slide/water table/trampoline etc. it’s getting to the point I dread sunny days as this child just assumes they can come in here and use everything (the pool in particular bothers me as it’s the safety aspect. My youngest is 3 months old so I’m fairly busy as it is, trying to deal with a baby and watch my own young kids in water. Even with DH here it we are keeping a constant eye on them).

Am I just being miserable though?

My 11 year old grandson is an only child and is friends with lots of neighbouring kids, they all go to the same school, clubs etc.
My daughter got a 12ft pool 39” deep for him during lockdown. When restrictions lifted they would all gravitate to her garden, no swimwear or towels but would end up in the pool in their shorts and t-shirts. She was dishing out towels like it was a Turkish Baths and then having to wash them all.
She started locking the gate to the back and when they turned up she sent them all home to getting swimming costume/trunks and a towel. Some would come back and some wouldn’t.
She has just been discussing putting it up again this week. It does keep them where everyone knows where they are and I don’t think the ones that are this years year 7 will come as it won’t be cool.

Now that a whole new level of a hole

theres cheap trellis you can get which opens up to like 3-6ft, grab them quick as a temporary measure so they get the jist of not putting kid over the fence. amazon prime and a few nails shd do it until you get a proper high fence.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Expanding-Wooden-Garden-Trellis-Support/dp/B09VQ11HKP/ref=sr_1_6?crid=2DBGJSDJSWRZK&keywords=trellis+folding&qid=1685986859&sprefix=trellis+foldin%2Caps%2C322&sr=8-6

Oh wow this is so bad! Next time this happens, I would take the child back to their house, knock on the door & say I’m really sorry but I can’t look after your child in the pool today. I have enough kids to watch & I would hate for anything to happen to your child so please don’t be sending him in again. unless your kids invite him in to play! This is really cheeky & nobody should expect someone else to be minding their child uninvited!

You have a right to be selfish. That child puts your children in danger. Take him home and tell the mother no.

I’m so sorry for your loss

Lifting him over the fence, just unbelievable really. Firm no every time and get that fence ASAP!

So the little bastard is spoiling your kids playing. Stop being a pussy and tell her to Fuck Off!

They need reporting for not looking after their child!
& what are they doing while you’re babysitting?! Selfish honestly

No, YANBU. It always seems to be the wild kids that get randomly sent to use pools creating a safety headache.

Id literally lift him back into his own garden and say

I can't you see I have 5 children of my own and I can't cope with another its not fair - what actually can they say to that?

Put big gate and fence up and a massive lock . If sumit happens in ur pool it will be ur responsibility for knowing they are in but not watching them even if they are in when ur not at home and you haven't got it child proofed it's ur fault . So Google it for the rules and regs on having a pool . everything there in tell them to get out as there life's could be in Yr hands

.

I love the firm but friendly and pleases and thank yous. If someone lifted their child over the fence when my DS were young in the paddling pool I'd have laughed and asked them if they were taking the piss. How does this even happen once. I can't even imagine with 3+ children and then someone else's. Who does this and who lets this happen?!

Your neighbour's child shouldn't be able to wander into your garden without being invited. Close of your yard. People who want to come in can ring the bell at your frontdoor and ask.

Some parents are so cheeky. I got chatting to a school mum who started coming to mine for coffee after drop off, stay for ages. I didn't mind but then she said a couple of times that she preferred going to other people's houses as then her house wouldn't get messed up and I realised it was more a convenience for her, and phased the drop ins right out. It's easy enough to do with CFs, you say no once and they realise that there's a new sheriff in town and smarten their act up a bit or just move on to the next person who is too polite to say no or who hasn't been on MN long enough

As for parents leaving there kids with u without letting u know she would never be back in my garden and giving her food and lollys and not urs that would be it for me she would get it all guns blazing

Hopefully after a few times of sending him back the parents will get the message. Also maybe make them see his behavior is not ok

If they lift him over again, just say he can come and play on the pool (if that's ok with you of course), but you need to come over too and supervise him whilst he does.

Honestly the cheek, as soon as they realise they have to help they'll stop.

I am so shocked by how cheeky they’ve been. Prioritise getting a higher fence (preferably with planting so they can’t lift him over). Some people are takers and are so thick skinned they’ll make you feel like you’re the unreasonable one even though they are clearly been a pain. Aside from anything else it is just negligent to assume someone else is keeping an eye on your 4yo especially where there is water.

Next time they try to pull the "oh but he's lonely" tell them to put their pool up and get hot tub ready and you'll send yours around to theirs instead. I'd bet they will get the picture soon enough.

The things I see on here that people put up with!!!!!!!

That's odd. I wouldn't want my 4 year old playing in water without me there to supervise

Nobody else should have that responsibility

That's taking the piss

or even... 'We are having a family life'

Tell them your kids have got impetigo (also tell her to FO).

This has to be the most CF thing I've seen on here to date. The neighbours are getting free childcare ffs! Next time, lift him back over the fence with a loud NOPE.