Pools and neighbourhood kids

[Imdonewithsergio]

do your neighbours automatically assume their children can use your kids paddling pool? We have one neighbour who will literally send her child out with her swimming costume on if our pool is out. Child is 4. We have a large family (5 kids under 8). So I don’t feel comfortable having another little boy to add to the mix. I’ve tried speaking to them but I’m made out to be a selfish killjoy. The child in question is absolutely wild and my own kids give up and end up out the pool. She also sends her child into other neighbours gardens to use their pool/slide/water table/trampoline etc. it’s getting to the point I dread sunny days as this child just assumes they can come in here and use everything (the pool in particular bothers me as it’s the safety aspect. My youngest is 3 months old so I’m fairly busy as it is, trying to deal with a baby and watch my own young kids in water. Even with DH here it we are keeping a constant eye on them).

Am I just being miserable though?

You lift him back over and return him with a polite but firm no thanks

We had this issue with our ndn and their kids, only difference is we have 2 dc and they have 4. I didn’t want to look after an extra 4 children in a pool on a Saturday afternoon when I’ve had a busy week. They stopped speaking to us after I said something, which suits me just fine.

Surely it’s a safety issue. Tell her that! You cannot be responsible for her child playing in your garden especially in water.

You are clearly a truly lovely woman.

Too nice.

Far, far nicer than I could ever be in this situation.

Your neighbour is an awful user.

Don't be used.

Get a fence asap.

Stop wanting to be her friend.

It will set you free.

She's a user not a friend.

Good luck 👍

I’d be lifting that child back over and saying “NO”.

F*ck that shit.

😂

. . . and hoping they hear a splash and not a splat!

I’m so sorry for your loss

We had issues with our NDN kids being sent to ours all the time. Between the harrassment of our kids (and us), the stealing, the raiding of food and the constant lack of accountability from their parents it caused a HUGE problem. (Their response was always “Kids will be kids” - 🤷‍♂️🤷🏼‍♀️) Interestingly, when I banned them from our house (after one bit my DD’s face) they became competitive. If we bought a trampoline, they would too (then it would be up against the fence next to the climbing frames and the swimming pool they bought to compete so the kids could climb up and yell “We’ve got an ice cream and you-oo do-on’t” at mine.) Amazing how quickly spiky rambling roses can grow. (The ones with the thorns grow the fastest.)

Seriously!! No way accept this!!! How can you even doubt yourself here! It's your own house, your own garden, your own children.
March round there. Tell her in no uncertain terms to fucking stop this! You are being taken for a fool here.
Tell her to piss off and look after her her own kid! Cheeky cow!

Invest in a prickly hedge, growing 12 inches inside your shared fenceline.

I looked up plants that might be suitable - they grow upwards and have prickles.
Red Regusa Rose
English Holly
Grevillea Jupiperina
Or plant very tall thick clumping, non invasive, Bamboo like Goldstripe just inside your fence and in two years it will be 4 metres tall..
Lock your gates and buy the little neighbour a Christmas present of his own paddling pool and sand pit combo.

You could invest in a child proof pool fence.
Only open the gate when you are in there and never let any other children, without their supervising parent, enter.

@Imdonewithsergio you need to get some trellis to go along the top of the fence & smile when neighbour tries to send him around, 'sorry not a great day today, I'll send them over to yours sometime tomorrow play '
They're using you for freedom childcare. Cheeky & rude

'to play ' not tomorrow!

This nails it nicely.

Fences and bushes cost money
Saying No is free

What a cheek! Just say no or as someone else suggests, lock your gate.

The gate is locked - they lift their child over!

@Imdonewithsergio You are not being horrible, selfish or spiteful at all you are just setting boundaries; to keep your kids safe & happy.
Your pool is not a public pool & you are not there to provide free childcare for the CF mum!
Tell them as such.
You could offer an olive branch of your old pool, if it is still usable & clean, for CF mum to let her own kid play in & she can supervise them in it herself but I imagine that could be shot down as ‘I’m not a charity case’.
Again…you aren’t being horrible, selfish or spiteful at all you are just setting boundaries! CF mum is being horrible, selfish & spiteful expecting you & your kids to just put up & shut up!

Agree that you need to say no but if you want to spin it to avoid backlash I would say that you are concerned about her child as you have too many to watch and a friend of yours had a neighbour’s child have an accident in her pool, and you are just too afraid of that happening - so you cannot have her child over anymore

I think in a PP the OP said the "kid lifters/droppers" have their own pool but their NSDS doesn't like being in it by himself. They should be told to go out and let their NSDS make some friends that can come to his house. (Though that would mean they had to watch kids and they are in the "lift and drop" camp.

That’s the thing- they have a decent pool and a hot tub but they still send him over.

@Imdonewithsergio Just tell them no then. Here was me thinking they were struggling to afford a pool for their kid! Clearly not. That makes that mum an even cheekier fluffer!!!

If they have a pool and are actively popping their child over the fence so that it's your pool that gets used, what you should do is pop their child back over the fence, followed swiftly by your own kids so that you get a break for a change. See if they kick off when they suddenly have 5+ kids to look after.

That’s perfect. I bet it would never happen again.

😂