Friend's "small" wedding

[Sophiesop]

Friend was my bridesmaid last year - I spent so much on my bridesmaids - dresses, hair and makeup, a bracelet etc.

Friend got engaged 2 months ago. I asked her last night what she is thinking in terms of the wedding. She said she wants a small wedding in Wales with just close family and friends and she's not really thinking of having bridesmaid as she'd rather budget for the cost of Wales than spending on bridesmaid gear.

Aibu to be upset by this? I thought I'd be her bridesmaid. I'm presuming I'll at least be invited to the wedding in Wales but I'm quite upset.

YABU. I had friends at school who had a similar thing about being each others bridesmaids.

We remained friends but grew apart. One friend did ask me and one other to be her bridesmaids which I did agree too but was very surprised to be asked.

I didn't ask either of them to be my bridesmaids (I had my sister and closest friends at that time).

The third friend never married.

You did what you wanted. Accept that she will do the same.

You play the victim.

You can be upset as you like but it's not your business. I'm sure you'll get an invite though.

I can't understand all this fuss about being, or not being, a bridesmaid for someone. Surely OP you don't expect your friend to have a large wedding, complete with bridesmaids, simply because that is what you did? Just be happy for your friend and stop being upset over something so silly.

With that attitude I wouldn't be surprised if your not friends for much longer.

When I were a kid me and my best friend made all kinds of db promises to one another .. I think you are being unreasonable...however I can see why your feelings are hurt...

I think you've had some harsh responses. It's natural to feel disappointed in this scenario if you were hoping to be a bridesmaid in return. I hope you can enjoy the day regardless OP 😁 like others have said it's her wedding and whatever her reasons-you just need to accept it but I would also be a bit quietly deflated.

I think I'd be upset too if it was my best friend and we'd talked about being each others bridesmaids. Plus she could have made it cheaper by just buying the dresses, that's what I did.

Why is everyone so harsh & unkind in here? I understand that you maybe don't agree with her but there's kinder ways if saying things to people! Remind me never to ask for any advice on here!

OP, I can understand you feel sad about this. She was an official part of your big day, and you thought you’d be a part of hers… It really doesn’t sound personal though, looking at it from the outside — it just sounds as though she has a different idea about how she wants her wedding to be. I know it’s easier said than done, but I’d try to let it go.

Oh dear this thread has made it into the Daily Mail.

You're being soooo unreasonable. Lol...

Her wedding, her choice, her finances, her decision. Nothing to be upset about.