Embarrassed I don’t have enough friends to have a hen do

[taratatata]

We’re eloping anyway so the wedding itself isn’t an issue. I’d love a hen do but I only have two ‘real’ friends, both live too far away and then I have a several more people that I vaguely know / have lost touch with, I would say we’re loosely friends but not close enough to invite to something like that especially where they won’t know anyone else but me. Minor thing in the grand scheme of things but I feel a bit deflated, hopefully you only marry once so it would be nice to have a special build up

[Hollyppp]

@Oysterbabe

I think it's weird to have a hen do at all if you're eloping and they're not actually coming to the wedding.

Same

[Keitharingsbitch]

@ArabeIIaScott

Successstory82's post is a reasonable question, given the OP has felt moved to make a post about her lack of friends!

There is no set way to do these things, OP. You can do what you please, have no hen night, just have your two best pals, have a mix of random people you've met in the pub, have it on blooming zoom, etc. It really doesn't matter, so long as you are looking forward to it and feeling good about getting married.

I'm wondering why you don't seem as happy as you could be about your upcoming wedding?

I'm going to be blunt: Why elope? Are you feeling isolated? Is everything okay?

If you can't see she was being a bitch you also have problems.

You're looking for problems. It's being a terf making you miserable perhaps so you have to make up problems in random poster's lives?

[Preachandteach]

Ach don’t worry about it. I didn’t have a hen because I’m not keen on groups. I always prefer 1:1 meet ups. You do you!

[AlecTrevelyan006]

I went on a stag do with just the groom and his best man - we had a great time.

[Gwenhwyfar]

@AlecTrevelyan006

I went on a stag do with just the groom and his best man - we had a great time.

I've been on a stag do as a woman. Best man decided the groom wasn't the type for strippers and the like so just had a meal for male and female friends. A lot of people have both sexes in their friendship group so I don't see the need for segregated nights out.

[MRex]

@taratatata

Thank you everyone for your helpful comments! I worry everyone would have a rubbish time but you’ve helped me to see it’s probably expected by them that they won’t know everyone, so on the basis of that I might do a lovely meal with some drinks and hope everyone can attend.

Sounds great, I hope you have a lot of fun!

[Moonshine60]

It's all about you and your partner. I didn't even have a hen do. We rocked up at the Registry Office with 2 witnesses and then went to the pub to equalize. I didn't feel hard done by or embarrassed (but then we had been together for 25 years before we went legal).

[JusthereforXmas]

@Mirabai

No-one did hen dos in my day and they just seem really forced and expensive.

'hen dos' developed from a historic tradition of women getting together to see off the bride the night before she moved from the family home to live with her husband who may live in another town where they would rarely see each other again... its literally been done for hundreds of years, the Victorians where very fond of it.

My parents and grandparents had them. They have changed in style (originally just family at home with gifts which in countries like America became bridal showers but fell out of favor in the UK. Then more social gathering took over in venues like church halls focused on friendships etc... all very WI-esq with cake and 'clucking'. Then onto the drunken tacky night out which was over all quite a short lived trend and now onto basically anything goes from paintballing to pottery making, naked art classes to 3 nights in Ibiza, Indian meal to spa treatments) but definitely existed even if you didn't partake, unless of course you are hundreds of years old.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"Then onto the drunken tacky night out which was over all quite a short lived trend "

Anyone unlucky enough to live in a city favoured by hen parties can tell you that these are still going on.