Embarrassed I don’t have enough friends to have a hen do

[taratatata]

We’re eloping anyway so the wedding itself isn’t an issue. I’d love a hen do but I only have two ‘real’ friends, both live too far away and then I have a several more people that I vaguely know / have lost touch with, I would say we’re loosely friends but not close enough to invite to something like that especially where they won’t know anyone else but me. Minor thing in the grand scheme of things but I feel a bit deflated, hopefully you only marry once so it would be nice to have a special build up

[GreekDogRescue]

I got married in 1989. So glad hen do’s were not a thing then. Closest friend was a bridesmaid and that was it!

[CateringPanic]

OP Hen dos are almost ALWAYS bringing people who don’t know each other very well together. I’m going on one at the end of the month - 6 of us I think and I only know one person other than the bride, from school. The others are a university friend, a work colleague and another friend who I think is the wife of one of her fiancé’s friends. It is what is is.

At my own hen do ill have family, school friends x3, university friend x1 and two women I am friends with because they are my fiancé’s friends partners

[sweatervest]

debra winger in terms of endearment had the best hen do in my opinion. she had one friend over and they smoked a joint (i'm not a joint smoker but it looked like an awesome hen do) and there was nothing else to it.

[FriedaMer]

@Successstory82

Not minor in my opinion. My friends mean the world to me.

Why have you not developed friendships?

Wow, you sound lovely 🙄

[GreekDogRescue]

@BodegaSushi

I agree with this 💁🏽‍♀️

How people can find a partner but not a friend is a mystery to me

Where have all these mean girls come from?

[BriarHare]

Hen parties are obnoxious. Like hell on earth.

I’d far rather do something classy with a couple of close friends.

[88milesanhour]

OP I did have quite a big hendo with lots of friends. I've since had a child. My main friendship group has become less and less interested in spending time together and most have zero interest in my dd so they're essentially aquaintances now. I've done all the baby groups etc and tried my best to put myself out there and make new mum friends but am in reality totally isolated despite best efforts. Truth be told if I had my hendo tomorrow it'd consist of my sister and possibly my SIL who can't even stand me. It's taken me a lot of time and tears to fully accept that this isolation doesn't define me. It doesn't make me less of a good person. Yes it still makes me feel crap and lonely but at least I'm able to go about my life with my head held high. Ignore the bellends on here chastising you. I do understand that it isn't as simple as just finding friends. Please don't let it knock your confidence and remember that it might not always be like this. Life is full of twists and turns and one day even a significant event like your hendo will be a distant memory and a closed chapter of your life so don't overthink it. Just keep yourself open to new friendships and who knows what's in the future

[CarbsAreNotMyFriend]

Sorry you're feeling like this OP, I'm sure lots of people have felt the same, hen parties can be a lot of pressure. It would be a shame for you to miss out though, would your 2 close friends consider travelling and do something just the 3 of you? You don't even have to call it a hen if that adds pressure, just a last night out before the wedding! Congratulations and all the best 🥰

[RestingMurderousFace]

@Successstory82

Not minor in my opinion. My friends mean the world to me.

Why have you not developed friendships?

Why have you not bothered to learn tact and diplomacy?

Arsehole.

[ArabeIIaScott]

Can I ask why you're eloping, OP?

[Adebayor]

Agree on that :) why make hen parties for dozens of people you hardly know instead of gathering say 2-3 really close friends and throw a party for them only?

[mummabubs]

Just wanted to say I'm like you OP and for my hen do I had 5 'hens', none of whom knew eachother. All worked brilliantly.

[Sisisimone]

I'd book a weekend away with your 2 close friends. Even if they have busy lives I'm sure thry would make room for that. Somewhere in between where you all live or even a cheap flight abroad

[FOTTFSOFTFOASM]

@GreekDogRescue

Where have all these mean girls come from?

They can't be mean because they use cutesy emojis 💁🏽‍♀️

🤮

[HoneybeesAndBluebells]

@BodegaSushi

I agree with this 💁🏽‍♀️

How people can find a partner but not a friend is a mystery to me

I bet you were the school bully.

[IAmTheWalrus85]

@Creative33

OP don’t get down about this. I was exactly the same and felt I needed to expand the invite list, so I invited people who I knew well but wasn’t great friend with.. tbh I’m no longer in contact with any of the people at my hen party besides my sister and 1 other person! I wish I’d just had a nice meal with her and had a pamper sesh together… the ‘fun activities’ and night out were so false and it felt forced at the time.

Remember it’s all about quality and NOT quantity. A hen is what feels right for you, not what social media paints it to be.

You do you. I wish someone had told me the same

I did the same as you and I completely agree. I wish I’d just had a nice night out with a couple of close friends instead of scraping the barrel for lots of people to invite.

[YayPizzaFriday]

Lots of people have a few special friends and don’t go in for the big gang type friendship and
You really don’t need a hen do.
We had a joint hen and stag do although tbh I didn’t arrange it. My office organised a surprise do for the both of us. Not something I would have done.
It was great, very kind etc but it’s not necessary.

Don’t stress yourself out and Focus on your big day

[Mademetoxic]

@Successstory82

Not minor in my opinion. My friends mean the world to me.

Why have you not developed friendships?

What a horrible post.
We are all different.

Why are you being horrible?

[BodegaSushi]

@Fighterofthenightman1

Can you honestly not see any difference between a friend and a partner?

They're two completely different types of relationships with different expectations

Yeah, a relationship with a partner is much deeper with much more of a commitment, hence my comment. Much harder to procure and maintain 💁🏽‍♀️

[candycrush789]

I only have 2 friends that I would class as friends, others are just acquaintances. Keep your circle small it’s better that way, less drama. I’ve never been a type of girl to be in with ‘the girls’ or go on girly holidays etc. I don’t trust people enough and I am quite comfortable with just my 2 close friends. I can easily make friends, I just choose not to. Honestly OP, best way to be.

[PuzzledObserver]

I though eloping meant running off and getting married without telling anyone. How can you have a hen do if you plan on eloping?

[ArabeIIaScott]

Successstory82's post is a reasonable question, given the OP has felt moved to make a post about her lack of friends!

There is no set way to do these things, OP. You can do what you please, have no hen night, just have your two best pals, have a mix of random people you've met in the pub, have it on blooming zoom, etc. It really doesn't matter, so long as you are looking forward to it and feeling good about getting married.

I'm wondering why you don't seem as happy as you could be about your upcoming wedding?

I'm going to be blunt: Why elope? Are you feeling isolated? Is everything okay?

[JudgeJ]

@Successstory82

Not minor in my opinion. My friends mean the world to me.

Why have you not developed friendships?

Some of us prefer quality rather than quantity!

[choccytime]

@Successstory82 nasty bitchy little comment

[Minniliscious]

OP you’re lucky to have 2 friends, I haven’t even got that anymore 🙈 I too was embarrassed about having a hen do with no friends so I got in touch with 2 old friends that I hadn’t seen for so long and invited them along.

Then it was just cousins, aunties, my Mum and SIL! The old friends had a great night and came to my wedding reception. It soon turned out that the ‘rekindled friendship’ was very one sided though - I was never included in anything they did. I even invited them to my 40th but I wasn’t invited to theirs so I’ve cut ties. It reminded me why I don’t like having friends - I’ve been crapped on so much over the years! My husband also had just my family and his brothers on his stag do. We are actually good people believe it or not 🤣🤣 We love just our little family though. We do have couples over for dinner now and again but no seriously close friendships to maintain and I love it that way.

Friends are really not the be all and end all!