Next door neighbour and they're business

[Psiaspops]

My next door neighbour runs a business from his home. Usually evenings, 3 to 4 a week. Usually between 4pm and 9pm. We have the usual with his clients parking in front of our house and drive way, blocking us in etc and we usually just ask them to politely move or whatever
But last night, a woman was waiting on their child while they were in their lesson. She had two other children with her. They looked to be around 7 and 5. She decided she would let them play in our garden, pick flowers etc. I went out and she just spoke to me like it was normal. I asked could they please not pick our flowers and play in our garden. She was really taken aback but said okay. Then the youngest grabbed stones from the road and threw them onto our grass. I asked her could she please not let her child do that, and she said to me oh it's only some stones and then made a scene of how unreasonable I was being and how he was only a child etc. Now our neighbour has come over and said to leave his clients alone. I explained what happened and he said he already knew and they were doing no harm. Who's being unreasonable here as I just don't understand their logic, but then maybe I'm wrong, I don't know anymore

Good for you! Keep the updates coming!

Thank you

I would also write down every single time you move someone from blocking your drive. It may help prove the level of traffic is unreasonable.
Please do keep us updated (and well done!).

Thank you and yes I'm doing this also. Really appreciate all your kind wishes

All I can say if you have the patience or a Saint. Once ot twice I would put up with being blocked in but no way constantly, if he wants clients at his house he should make space for there vehicles not block you in. You are totally in the right how dare they also come in your garden if it's your property and the cheek to come around. Sounds like you need to be less nice to this entitled neighbour

Oh and I'm sorry to hear about your illness you don't need stress added please look after yourself as best as you can 🙂

Thank you, I just hate confrontation especially when life is so tough right now. I really do appreciate your kindness. Hopefully the council will do something. I actually heard him talking to my other neighbour earlier and he was telling him how out if order I was and the other neighbour agreed, it actually made me cry, because once again I've been made out to be the bad guy, but the other neighbour doesn't have to constantly put up with being blocked in or out of his own property or people using his garden like a public park. I know it sounds like I cry a lot 🤣😂, but I suffer from really debilitating PTSD too so I probably do cry more than the average person

Who cares what they think? They are affecting your ability to get to the hospital and get in and out of your home. This is absolutely not acceptable behaviour. It is equally likely that the same neighbour he was whingeing to would agree with you if you spoke to them about the issues in the street. Is he blocking them in?

Blocking someine in their drive is illegal so is parking on pavements i believe

This is absolutely unbelievable. I'm not saying I don't believe you OP. This is so hard to believe.

People playing in your garden and picking flowers.
People PARKING IN YOUR DRIVEWAY???
People blocking you in.
His customers swearing at a terminally I'll woman.
Him allowing to block you in and out preventing you from going to hospital. And then you hear him talking to the neighbours and they agree with him.
The fact that he abused his ex but he works with kids?

I'm not saying you're making this up OP at all, I just find this so hard to believe this would happen to anyone, let alone a terminally ill woman.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope it resolves and you get your peaceful life. Look after yourself OP.

Oh I totally understand why you're saying that. Honestly though I wish to god it was made up, I really do. I feel like a prisoner in my own home and it's been hell on earth having to deal with it all. I'd be like you though, thinking how unbelievable it is. But honestly, I really do wish with all my heart it wasn't true. Thank you for your well wishes. They are really appreciated

The other neighbour may have been agreeing to keep the peace, I've been known to do that. if you feel comfortable have a chat with the other neighbour and explain, and if they see no issue with it suggest they become the car park for the guys lessons

Hi OP
Well done on doing everything you have done.
That scumbag deserves a nice HMRC investigation. How dare he laugh in your face and refuse to sort out his clients.
Wishing you all the best healthwise I'm so sorry you're having to suffer like this with a terminal illness.

Good. I hope you are able to get some peace away from this vile neighbour.

I would photograph each car too unless you have cctv recordings. Wishing you all the best OP.

Good for you OP. Many of us don’t like confrontation but that’s not what this is - it’s about asserting your rights in the interests of fairness, respect and being a good neighbour. I try to live by rule #1 - don’t be a dick.

He should have done all the required planning etc. but this could have gone very differently had he had a chat with your first and policed his own clients, but he hasn’t, so he has no one to blame but himself.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the other neighbour was just agreeing with him to shut him up.

I hope it resolves for you.

Thank you. I also try to live by that rule, don't be a dick lol. You made me laugh when I read that, thank you. Unfortunately he is big buddies with that other neighbour. But, like you say it's all about fairness etc and living like this isn't not fair on me or my family. Planning got back to me this morning and said they were starting their investigation and would let me know the outcome when complete. Enforcement also emailed to say they had all the details and would be starting an investigation too. So fingers crossed for everything. Honestly it's not that I want him to get in trouble, I just want to live in my home in peace and be able to get to my many hospital appointments without even more stress added on top. I don't want to be that person but I think I've been pretty patient up until now and this has been going on for so long now. Maybe some people think I am a dick for doing all this, but I have tried so much to speak to him and try and sort it out and he's just impossible

Thank you, it's all on CCTV thankfully, and all backed up to my laptop.

Thank you, me too. Honestly I thought when I started this thread I was going to get flamed for complaining but I really appreciate everyone's perspective as it's made me see I'm definitely not the problem and that is a huge deal to me, as I don't want to be a horrible person or someone who complains about stupid things but you have all made me realise it's not me. Although on the vote I see some people have said I am being unreasonable and honestly would love to hear their thoughts on why they think that

Yeh, honestly I would love to know would they think the same if their property was being taken over four nights a week every week. Although with these group lessons starting it may just happen, so will see if their attitude changes then

Thankyou. Yeh, he's really not a nice guy. I've really tried my hardest with him but it has got to breaking point and the camel's back is well and truly broken

I am so sorry this is more than you need to be coping with now. I think the idea of the sprinkler is a very good one. As it is in your garden he can't complain as it just shows they are trespassing.

YANBU at all! Also, your neighbour can't run a business from home where customers are visiting or they are making lots of noise, unless they have planning permission. It's a house, not a commercial unit, and you are entitled to peace and quiet, especially in the evenings! Sounds like the business is causing a huge nuisance, which is exactly why permission is needed in the first place. Your neighbour has crossed a line of decency and consideration, and you would be fully justified in reporting him to the council. He should not be causing misery to his neighbours for monetary gain.

This

I soooo understand your feelings, OP.

After living here for years with no problems, I suddenly found children from different families using my front garden to play in. After feeling astonished at it, like you I started to wonder whether I'd been wrong all these, & what I'd thought was my front garden didn't really belong to me! So much so that I actually asked my husband if it was really ours & he said of course it was.

And more recently, I had cancer appontments & other long-standing angsty appointments. I'd envisioned attending them with my main source of anxiety on the day being the health issue, but lo & behold, a fibre company decided to dig up the pavements in my village & by coincidence, every time I needed to get out to attend an appointment, they'd be digging right in front of my drive. I was always polite with them, but it was a complete pain. They'd go away for weeks & then come back exactly at the wrong time; & I'd ask them for details of where they'd be working when (even on the day itself), & they'd tell me one thing & do the opposite. It became a grim joke in the end, a challenge to try to outwit them & make it to the appointment on time - but it was infuriating & anxiety-inducing, so I'm with you 100%.

I hope it works out for you. Fingers crossed that the guy can't get what he wants & so he moves house.