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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Next door neighbour and they're business

212 replies

Psiaspops · 01/06/2023 14:36

My next door neighbour runs a business from his home. Usually evenings, 3 to 4 a week. Usually between 4pm and 9pm. We have the usual with his clients parking in front of our house and drive way, blocking us in etc and we usually just ask them to politely move or whatever
But last night, a woman was waiting on their child while they were in their lesson. She had two other children with her. They looked to be around 7 and 5. She decided she would let them play in our garden, pick flowers etc. I went out and she just spoke to me like it was normal. I asked could they please not pick our flowers and play in our garden. She was really taken aback but said okay. Then the youngest grabbed stones from the road and threw them onto our grass. I asked her could she please not let her child do that, and she said to me oh it's only some stones and then made a scene of how unreasonable I was being and how he was only a child etc. Now our neighbour has come over and said to leave his clients alone. I explained what happened and he said he already knew and they were doing no harm. Who's being unreasonable here as I just don't understand their logic, but then maybe I'm wrong, I don't know anymore

OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 06/06/2023 15:53

all these = all this time

Fraaahnces · 06/06/2023 15:57

@Psiaspops - I think it’s also start volunteering the driveway of the buddy-buddy dickhead over the road. He obviously doesn’t find it too intrusive or have any medical appointments to get to. Wonder how long he’s going to agree with your next door neighbour when it’s affecting his life?

Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 16:02

ailsamaryc · 06/06/2023 15:04

I am so sorry this is more than you need to be coping with now. I think the idea of the sprinkler is a very good one. As it is in your garden he can't complain as it just shows they are trespassing.

Thank you, yeh the sprinkler is definitely one I'm thinking about

OP posts:
Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 16:03

MeadowMouse · 06/06/2023 15:09

YANBU at all! Also, your neighbour can't run a business from home where customers are visiting or they are making lots of noise, unless they have planning permission. It's a house, not a commercial unit, and you are entitled to peace and quiet, especially in the evenings! Sounds like the business is causing a huge nuisance, which is exactly why permission is needed in the first place. Your neighbour has crossed a line of decency and consideration, and you would be fully justified in reporting him to the council. He should not be causing misery to his neighbours for monetary gain.

Thank you, he's currently scraping up his dog shit from the back garden which only means one thing, he has lessons tonight, so my stress levels are through the roof already and they haven't even started yet.

OP posts:
Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 16:04

Billyho · 06/06/2023 15:12

This

Well I'm being upright apparently 🤔

OP posts:
Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 16:06

ifIwerenotanandroid · 06/06/2023 15:52

I soooo understand your feelings, OP.

After living here for years with no problems, I suddenly found children from different families using my front garden to play in. After feeling astonished at it, like you I started to wonder whether I'd been wrong all these, & what I'd thought was my front garden didn't really belong to me! So much so that I actually asked my husband if it was really ours & he said of course it was.

And more recently, I had cancer appontments & other long-standing angsty appointments. I'd envisioned attending them with my main source of anxiety on the day being the health issue, but lo & behold, a fibre company decided to dig up the pavements in my village & by coincidence, every time I needed to get out to attend an appointment, they'd be digging right in front of my drive. I was always polite with them, but it was a complete pain. They'd go away for weeks & then come back exactly at the wrong time; & I'd ask them for details of where they'd be working when (even on the day itself), & they'd tell me one thing & do the opposite. It became a grim joke in the end, a challenge to try to outwit them & make it to the appointment on time - but it was infuriating & anxiety-inducing, so I'm with you 100%.

I hope it works out for you. Fingers crossed that the guy can't get what he wants & so he moves house.

I'm really sorry to hear this. Honestly I feel the same, I should be focusing on my health and my appointments, not having to deal with all this extra stress of things in my opinion, that should not be happening. I hope you are better now health wise?

OP posts:
Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 16:08

Fraaahnces · 06/06/2023 15:57

@Psiaspops - I think it’s also start volunteering the driveway of the buddy-buddy dickhead over the road. He obviously doesn’t find it too intrusive or have any medical appointments to get to. Wonder how long he’s going to agree with your next door neighbour when it’s affecting his life?

That's exactly what I'm wondering. These group sessions are starting from July and there's going to be a lot more clients here at the same time, so they will have to park further up the cul de save, so will see how happy this other neighbour is then, especially as he comes and goes a lot on his motorbike and has lots of motor biking friends here too. And that's a whole other story of stress

OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 06/06/2023 16:18

@Psiaspops Thank you for your good wishes, & I hope today is going well for you.

I'm down to regular checks now for 2 types of cancer. All good news so far.

Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 16:23

ifIwerenotanandroid · 06/06/2023 16:18

@Psiaspops Thank you for your good wishes, & I hope today is going well for you.

I'm down to regular checks now for 2 types of cancer. All good news so far.

Glad to hear it's all good news for you so far. Will be keeping everything crossed for you 💐

OP posts:
ifIwerenotanandroid · 06/06/2023 16:31

💐for you too @Psiaspops

Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 16:39

ifIwerenotanandroid · 06/06/2023 16:31

💐for you too @Psiaspops

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 06/06/2023 17:22

Maybe put that on your sign… “Don’t park here. You will be prosecuted. The guy over the road doesn’t mind, though.”

Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 18:04

Fraaahnces · 06/06/2023 17:22

Maybe put that on your sign… “Don’t park here. You will be prosecuted. The guy over the road doesn’t mind, though.”

😂🤣😂 such a good idea

OP posts:
Ireolu · 06/06/2023 18:23

OP you sound so lovely... wish I had you as a neighbour. I reported 2 of my neighbours for parking inappropriately in front of our hohse to the council. They weren't blocking the drive fully but the way they had parked was inconsiderate. The council agreed, they were fined, its not happened again since. They know it was us. I don't care. Sometimes not engaging directly with people like this is best. A considerate person wouldn't do it. I am hopeful the council will come through for you. Look after yourself :)

Newestname002 · 06/06/2023 19:06

@ifIwerenotanandroid

I hope it works out for you. Fingers crossed that the guy can't get what he wants & so he moves house.

From your mouth to God's ears.

@Psiaspops

I've no advice for you - the lovely people on this thread have said it so much better than I could. Two things though.

• this is possibly very forward of me, but I'm sending you several virtual hugs for when you need them and,
• I hope your nasty neighbour succumbs to both a very bad, recurring case of hives and tapeworms. Hopefully those afflictions last long and make his life miserable. 🌹

Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 19:13

Ireolu · 06/06/2023 18:23

OP you sound so lovely... wish I had you as a neighbour. I reported 2 of my neighbours for parking inappropriately in front of our hohse to the council. They weren't blocking the drive fully but the way they had parked was inconsiderate. The council agreed, they were fined, its not happened again since. They know it was us. I don't care. Sometimes not engaging directly with people like this is best. A considerate person wouldn't do it. I am hopeful the council will come through for you. Look after yourself :)

Awh thank you so much. That honestly means so much to me. I'm glad you were able to get your situation sorted. People really are so inconsiderate and entitled. I just don't understand it

OP posts:
Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 19:15

Newestname002 · 06/06/2023 19:06

@ifIwerenotanandroid

I hope it works out for you. Fingers crossed that the guy can't get what he wants & so he moves house.

From your mouth to God's ears.

@Psiaspops

I've no advice for you - the lovely people on this thread have said it so much better than I could. Two things though.

• this is possibly very forward of me, but I'm sending you several virtual hugs for when you need them and,
• I hope your nasty neighbour succumbs to both a very bad, recurring case of hives and tapeworms. Hopefully those afflictions last long and make his life miserable. 🌹

😂🤣😂🤣😂 thank you for making me laugh so much. Honestly I'm having the worst day with pain and sickness and feel like giving up, but you have made me actually laugh, like proper belly laugh and I cannot thank you enough

OP posts:
Psiaspops · 06/06/2023 19:17

Newestname002 · 06/06/2023 19:06

@ifIwerenotanandroid

I hope it works out for you. Fingers crossed that the guy can't get what he wants & so he moves house.

From your mouth to God's ears.

@Psiaspops

I've no advice for you - the lovely people on this thread have said it so much better than I could. Two things though.

• this is possibly very forward of me, but I'm sending you several virtual hugs for when you need them and,
• I hope your nasty neighbour succumbs to both a very bad, recurring case of hives and tapeworms. Hopefully those afflictions last long and make his life miserable. 🌹

And I really appreciate the virtual hugs, you have no idea how badly they are needed right now 💐💐💐

OP posts:
Newestname002 · 06/06/2023 19:49

👍🏻 🤗🤗🤗🤗

ChatWTF · 06/06/2023 21:17

I’m proud of you OP for asserting your VERY reasonable rights to not having to tolerate your dickhead neighbours antics that are negatively impacting your health as well as enjoyment of your own property.

You’ve done the right things; stayed calm, asked politely and now you are going through the proper channels as you were left with no choice. You shouldn’t have to but record everything and maintain your dignity as you have throughout this whole thread and hopefully justice will prevail. 💪

(Or, set a load of us peri-menopausal women on him and see how brave he’s feeling at the end of that little ‘chat’ 😡)

Psiaspops · 07/06/2023 01:33

ChatWTF · 06/06/2023 21:17

I’m proud of you OP for asserting your VERY reasonable rights to not having to tolerate your dickhead neighbours antics that are negatively impacting your health as well as enjoyment of your own property.

You’ve done the right things; stayed calm, asked politely and now you are going through the proper channels as you were left with no choice. You shouldn’t have to but record everything and maintain your dignity as you have throughout this whole thread and hopefully justice will prevail. 💪

(Or, set a load of us peri-menopausal women on him and see how brave he’s feeling at the end of that little ‘chat’ 😡)

Haha thank you. It has really helped me having so much support from all of you. I have just been woken by him practising guitar and singing, so looks like it's going to be a very long night. So annoyed too, as I actually got over to sleep which is a real rarity for me, but hopefully the council will come through as you say and life will be a lot more peaceful soon. And great to know I have plan b, all of you having a 'chat' with him 😂🤣. Thank you again

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 07/06/2023 07:09

Sounds like he’s bullying you with noise @Psiaspops. Wonder if he’s a stoner too…. Perhaps you could mention this to the police as well. I wouldn’t be ashamed to pull the “cancer card” if I were you. You deserve to use it as an advantage in cases like this because let’s face it, there are no other perks.
I wish I could give you a hug and humiliate the “big men” in your street for behaving like entitled duckers too.

Psiaspops · 07/06/2023 10:10

Fraaahnces · 07/06/2023 07:09

Sounds like he’s bullying you with noise @Psiaspops. Wonder if he’s a stoner too…. Perhaps you could mention this to the police as well. I wouldn’t be ashamed to pull the “cancer card” if I were you. You deserve to use it as an advantage in cases like this because let’s face it, there are no other perks.
I wish I could give you a hug and humiliate the “big men” in your street for behaving like entitled duckers too.

Yes the noise levels are ridiculous. It went on until 5am. I am so tired and have loads of appointments today and I don't even have the strength to get ready. I actually thought he was dealing drugs at one point. So who knows. And yes the men in the this street like to pick on vulnerable women, it seems to be a thing round here. But that's another story for another day 😂🤣😂

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 07/06/2023 10:38

I think you need the Mumsnet Patio Squad for these guys @Psiaspops. Pretty sure you’d have us all lined up with shovels and buckets of sand ready to help you out.

doodleZ1 · 07/06/2023 10:41

Next time he sings at 1 am I would record it on your phone as it will give the date and time. It’s obviously unreasonable to be doing that in the early hours. I wonder why he’s not actually sleeping himself, he works some odd hours