Do holidays and days out really not matter?

[bottomlypotts22]

Every time the school holidays roll around I get this feeling of inadequacy about not doing enough with my kids. And every time I give my head a wobble and remember that love, time and attention are far more important.

Having said that, I want my dc to experience things outside of our hometown. Yes we go to the park, library, swimming, cafes but it's all things they've done before. I always felt like I wanted to give my kids more holidays and days out (not for the Instagram brags) but so they have a well rounded view of the world and plenty of experiences under their belt. Not just the same old things in the same old environment.

As it turns out, work commitments, money issues and the fact I don't drive always seem to get in the way. We have no holiday booked yet for this year and half term has once again been busy but just with the same old shit - swimming, park, walks, lunch out, garden centre they've been to a million times, you get the drift.

So what's your take? Is it important to give your kids new experiences or am I putting too much importance on it?

If you want to go abroad can you not to France? Holidaying in the UK is actually often more expensive than going abroad and (depending of where you live) can take much longer than going to France. I'm much closer to Calais than to Cornwall for example. Drive over to a cheap air b&b-type place. Also, Paris is 2.5 hours by train from London (train has decent loo facilities).

Op, I can really identify with your post. Especially the bit about feeling anxious travelling with kids. I'm in Kent and can't even summon the nerve to go to London on the train with the kids by myself. I'm fine with my DH, but I've always been so anxious on my own. One of mine has asd and adhd and can be a bit of a liability. I've been off this week with my two teen/tweens and it's been really hard to do anything. It was so easy when they were little as they were happy to go anywhere, park, beach, local museum. Now all they want to do is go on their phones/xbox. We've managed the local historic landmark nearby which we've been to loads of times before. Its quite depressed me to be honest. I'll be glad to be back at work. Sorry, not much help!

This is really interesting.

ive been doing less this year both because of CoL and because my Dd is a teen and wants to spend time close to home seeing her friends. DS is younger (9) but also wants to have friends round, not miss birthdays etc.

Its me that likes to go further afield more often!

That said, I think it’s good for mental health, as well as children’s development to mix it up a bit. We had a day out yesterday and really appreciated it.

Train strikes also made things a bit more complicated this week

Think back on your childhood, what things do you remember? I have fond memories of lots of time spent at grandparents, car boots, back gardens, back yard on my bike and climbing trees. Trips to see family every year in Great Yarmouth, seaside days out and illuminations in Blackpool and we always went swimming at our local pool once every school holidays and ate greggs sausage rolls and iced fingers afterwards.

We visit the east coast yearly with our children, Lake District visits to explore, walk and walk through our lovely countryside and visit grandparents often, as well as holidays and everything else. Growing up, my parents didn’t have much money, but look at all the adventures I had and how lucky I was!

whatever you do with your children, you are doing it, so they will love it and remember it forever

at least you get out with the kids and so things even if you think they are the same things. Ours wake up each day and ask what they are doing and all the want to do is go to the park …..the same one we have been to a million times before. We have memberships to our local wildwood and to Leeds castle and it’s pay once or monthly for wildwood and use as many times as you want each year. We go all the time and they never ever complain. Going somewhere new occasionally but they love their favourite go to places and the local park is top of their list which is free!! Be kind to yourself and never compare to what you think they are missing as you spending time with them is I am sure what they love the most.

My parents were divorced. As a child I had one week at Butlins, and my days out were shopping in town. The rest of the time I played out.

I mean one week one year, not every year.

Good advice

When I was a teenager we got taken for two week holidays abroad, which sounds wonderful, but actually I didn’t like it - I didn’t like being away from friends for that long, and we went to a resort type hotel where no one spoke English, and I wasn’t very good at the language they did speak! Neither are/ were my parents but they weren’t ultra self conscious teenagers - which I was!

We didn’t do constant day trips or anything but where we lived was quite countrified- nice for little kids, a bit dull for teens!

you have accomplished more than I have this half term- so give yourself a break I’ve worked throughout ( again ) not a swim, a cafe or a park in sight. So well done you! it’s about the time not the thing. They remember the feeling more than the moment - that’s what my eldest adult children tell me. I’m plagued with guilt as just not been able to do anything much at all this year so far for many reasons. I empathise.

Sounds like your kids have a great life! Sometimes good not to have things too organised - days out in school holidays can end up being really expensive x

I’d aim for at least 2 days out during half term week. But then we’re a stones throw from central lindon so it is easy to find quality free stuff.

I did all sorts of trips, outings etc with my kids when they were young. When I mention somewhere we went, (they’re now adults) they quite often can’t remember anything about it! Well, I enjoyed myself and do remember them, so not all for nothing! 😍

My favourite childhood memories are low key and local.
Looking back on holidays abroad and days out they don’t hold much interest, more for the parents than the kids.

Before the all encompassing FB, 'Gram etc, the only bragging was confined to face2face and you knew who to avoid.
Kids loved the freedom to go with flow, whether on a cheaper Haven holiday or just at home.
By the time September came they were refreshed and hungry for something more structured. They wanted to get into their new uniform and pack their school bags! They flopped at the first weekend off and they're all doing well as adults too. Work hard, play hard and rest when needed.

I don't think they do but I'm talking from my point of view as a 36 year old so I could be wrong. We had 2 holidays away in my childhood both to a caravan in wales, my first trip abroad was with a friend at 13 and her family, I had lots of love and attention, spent the summer holidays in the garden or at the park or local trips out to castle ruins and things like that. In a way it's good because I don't holiday every year (can't afford too) im not sure if I could I would as flying stresses me out so much that I need months to get over it 😂 and I don't get sad about it as it's not the norm for me anyway! When I have been I have felt so excited and grateful. I do wonder with all the social media and the culture now maybe kids will notice but I only have a 2 and. 4 year old so im not sure... I did notice the kids that went away alot when I was at school they would always come back with a colourful braids in their hair and that's what made me jealous

What about looking at booking train or bus tickets in advanced that way they can go to a new area they not seen before I.e if its a place like York, full of history why not spend the week before talking and researching things prior to the trip.... what about little museums or out and about clubs

We don’t go on holiday most years. That’s absolutely fine.
we also catch the bus/train to city which can be pretty cheap and enjoy different thInga there.
we also do other cheap things like glow stick baths, jelly paddling pool etc.

Years ago I did camps by collecting sun voucher codes. Thorpe park or Thomas the tank world had very reduced prices. Even last year for ds1 I found flights for £15 and £16 to Italy and cheap accommodation. I think if you really put your mind to it some options are open to you.

New experiences are fun and probably make it also more fun and interesting for you, but my son is now spoilt and expects the fun expensive stuff all the time and I feel like I’ve made a rod for my back! When the weather is crap it isn’t easy either as indoor stuff is always more!

I lived in a tourist area/national park for many years and watched as the demand went up and up, as the prices of accommodation went up and up....it is certainly at a peak now, which brings more cars onto the roads and a whole heap of overspending.

I do think that culturally we have become weirdly obsessed with constant entertainment and staycations. Covid seemed to ramp it up even further. I personally think this is just capitalism at work, doing the thinking for us, telling us how to live, what to spend and FOMO too, especially for people with kids.

How we parent has changed dramatically since I was a child, too, so there are just different attitudes regarding allowing kids to entertain themselves or make use of their own surroundings. Incessant stimulation always seems a bit strange to me, probably because I loved being left alone quite a bit as a child, as well as playing and having fun. Everything seems to have to be about learning now rather than pure play, as if imagination and fun has become an unnecessary resource. Essential creativity has been taken away from us (devalued in education), repackaged and sold back to us in bland form.

Everything that is aimed at us is geared to get us spending, to get our kids onto the same conveyor belt of spend, entertain, spend, entertain.... To be considered well rounded nowadays we have to competitively consume, keep up, compare ourselves to the homogenous standard which surrounds us - where problems are created so that we can spend even more to get them 'fixed'.

polishes credit card and puts kettle on

To be honest, I think you can do a lot for the price of a train ticket or a tank of petrol and if you can you should. We had lots of free days out to stately homes in castles. The National trust properties as kids never went abroad until we were about eight, and we weren’t massively impressed with abroad. However, as soon as I could as an adult, I was encouraged to live abroad and I just compare myself with the life that I’ve had versus that of my cousin. He’s pretty much never left the bloody council estate she was raised on and never will, and she’s so insular racist homophobic, you name it. I do think travels important to broaden your horizons. Theme parks do not count as travel.

Art galleries? Museums? and sandwiches in a nearby park? None of that has to cost much. I still remember trips I made with my mum to the National Gallery and the National Portrait gallery. (We lived in London suburbs and went on the bus - an adventure in itself, you can see a lot from the top deck of a bus) I am so grateful she did that.

These can be fun to do and cheap. https://www.treasuretrails.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2o3Hwpul_wIVycbtCh35yAkvEAAYASAAEgJqyvD_BwE

Sounds like you need to learn to drive. Xx