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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Or is Mansplaining getting worse?

375 replies

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 31/05/2023 16:26

Filling up my car screen wash on my driveway. No hose or outside tap at the front so I'm using a big watering can.

Random man: you know that's a watering can right? It's for watering plants. You can put a nozzle on the end to make it sprinkle the water out.

Me: Umm. Yes. I do know.

RM: It's not actually for filling up the car.

Me: Yes. I know. I also use it in the garden.

RM: You can use a hose to fill up the car.

Me: I know, but I don't have an outside tap, so I used this to move water from inside my house to outside. Because its a water moving receptacle.

RM: It wasn't made for filling up the car though.

Me: ........

RM: Hurumpf.

And off he wanders.

I mean.... what!?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

SoupDragon · 02/06/2023 20:18

Apparently only women's experience matters when the subject is how men and women communicate with each other

On this thread it is about how men and women communicate with each other when the man is being a condescending, patronising dick. So yes, only a woman's experience counts in this scenario.

WhoHidTheCoffee · 02/06/2023 20:21

I’m glad it’s not just me. I got pulled over in central London the other day by a bloke who I assumed wanted directions. Nope. He proceeded to explain to me that we were going the wrong way for a specific tourist attraction. He looked quite puzzled when I thanked him but said we weren’t actually on our way there.🙄

How do I know he was mansplaining? Because he pulled me over rather than my DH.

BetterFuture1985 · 02/06/2023 20:22

SoupDragon · 02/06/2023 20:18

Apparently only women's experience matters when the subject is how men and women communicate with each other

On this thread it is about how men and women communicate with each other when the man is being a condescending, patronising dick. So yes, only a woman's experience counts in this scenario.

Oh I see. Create the myth by obliterating the inconvenient?

Marleeeene · 02/06/2023 20:25

It’s annoying as f**k when men do this.

I do love that your metric for ratio purposes is a wine bottle. 🫡

Toomanycaketins · 02/06/2023 20:27

awmum2b · 01/06/2023 10:38

I got a man the other week, stop me and pulled on my work pass that's on a lanyard round my neck. He told me that I shouldn't wear it driving as apparently if I had an accident it would spear me in the heart and kill me instantly. A hospital worker told him this......right!!

I felt this was highly unlikely tbh and I'm short so when i sit down it's in my lap...I've seen him twice since and he points it out every time he see's me!

I think this was actually discussed on the Jeremy vine show once… it could be true?!

T1Dmama · 02/06/2023 20:33

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 31/05/2023 16:30

I actually only recently bought the watering can, he'd have loved seeing me last time traipsing in and out with 2 wine bottles!

😂😂😂

T1Dmama · 02/06/2023 20:44

Mygrandadwasmywingman · 31/05/2023 17:15

I work with a mansplainer

For context I'm middle aged and have been doing my job for the last 7 years

He's 16,fresh out of school and had been doing the job for less than half an hour

If he tells me just one more time how to do my bloody job (which is mainly common sense and patience) I will deck him

I walked onto shift and the first words out of his mouth where

'Do you know we need to clean the trays?'

Me-'yes,I know'

Him-'this needs taking to table 4-do you know where table 4 is?'

Before I have chance to answer

'It's that one there!' (Points)

Me-'yes,I know'

Him-'do you?!'

Him-'we need to talk to the customer!'

Me-'yes I know' (and I'm good at that part of my job!)

Him-'it means you have to strike up a conversation with them-they will talk back to you'

Me-yes I know'

(He looks surprised)

Him-you press that button if you want coke but that button if you want diet coke-and you press that button on the lid if it is diet coke and two buttons if its coke zero'

Me-'yes,I know'

Rinse and repeat all shift

I want to strangle him (and whoever thought it was a good idea to have him doing my job)

(He once mansplained in great detail,what to do if your taking it in turns with someone-he went on for over half an hour-half of my lunch break-it sounds funny but its not)

Why don’t you just say to him ‘hey adam, you do realise I’ve been doing this job for 7 years right???….. that means that I could pretty much do it all in my sleep ok!’

SoupDragon · 02/06/2023 20:54

BetterFuture1985 · 02/06/2023 20:22

Oh I see. Create the myth by obliterating the inconvenient?

Show quote history

how on earth do you get through the day with such poor comprehension skills.

SoupDragon · 02/06/2023 21:00

SoupDragon · 02/06/2023 20:54

how on earth do you get through the day with such poor comprehension skills.

Show quote history

I mean, it's quite clear to anyone with half a brain cell that it isn't a myth because so many women have experienced it.

WaitingForSunnyDays · 02/06/2023 21:09

My response to most mansplainers (and I work in IT so have experienced quite a few) is usually to wait until they've finished, pause looking puzzled then say something like, " I'm not quite sure why you're telling me this. Is it something for some reason you thought I didn't know already, or are you just checking with me that you've got it right?" It seems to have the desired effect.

toxic44 · 02/06/2023 21:14

Sounds as if he is explaining for himself, to reassure himself he knows what to do. It's very irritating, though.

blacksax · 02/06/2023 21:17

BetterFuture1985 · 02/06/2023 18:54

Okay, shall I start a thread on a dangerous fallacy like "golden uterus syndrome" and then shout you down when you complain?

Show quote history

Since I have never heard of it, I have no opinion on the matter.

hth

tailinthejam · 02/06/2023 21:19

SoupDragon · 02/06/2023 20:18

Apparently only women's experience matters when the subject is how men and women communicate with each other

On this thread it is about how men and women communicate with each other when the man is being a condescending, patronising dick. So yes, only a woman's experience counts in this scenario.

^ This.

sheworemellowyellow · 02/06/2023 21:26

BetterFuture1985 · 02/06/2023 18:49

Well, until 2014 we called it condescension and you're all doing a pretty good job of that now!

Apparently only women's experience matters when the subject is how men and women communicate with each other. I really have nothing else to contribute that you can't demonstrate 10 times more powerfully by example.

Show quote history

Talk about an own goal. Mansplaining has nothing to do with how men and women communication “with each other”. It’s about how a man communicates to and even at a woman something she already knows, often better than he does. Women talking about how it feels to be communicated to/at like that are uniquely qualified. Men are not qualified.

Bloody idiot 🙄

Anniegetyourgun · 02/06/2023 21:26

Well, I don't know if mansplaining is getting worse, but if this thread is any indication, sealioning is going great guns. My thanks to the poster who provided the delightful picture a few pages ago; unfortunately it seems to have been buried since then by a wall of flipper-text.

eastegg · 02/06/2023 21:26

IglesiasPiggl · 31/05/2023 16:53

I would have loved to have said "Oh no it's not screenwaah it's fertiliser. It makes things grow. I need a bigger car."

Brilliant 😂

Scuttlingherbert · 02/06/2023 21:34

My favourite mansplaining incident happened about 10 years ago. It was just after Halloween and my friend's boyfriend had some balloons in his living room, shaped like the Scream mask.
His brother was there and I said to him "I didn't realise balloons were meant to be like the mask from the film Scream - I kept thinking they were meant to be like that painting, the Scream, by Edvard Munch?"
And his brother chimed in and corrected me "Edward Monkton."

tailinthejam · 02/06/2023 21:38

BetterFuture1985 · 02/06/2023 20:08

With all due respect to you mansplaining requires a communication with a man and a woman. We can hopefully at least agree on that point?

If it involves a communication between a man and a woman, then I've got as much skin in this game as you.

And I'm not telling you what to feel. I'm pointing out that women can be just as condescending but try and use this new fangled term to pretend it's gendered.

Do you know what it's like having a stranger coming up to you in the supermarket to say you're buying the wrong nappies? Or a wife telling you just how deep a child's bath should be or getting upset with you because you take a different route on a car journey than the one she would have taken? Have you read the thread after thread after thread on the Mumsnet Divorce forum where people automatically assume men can't handle 50/50 childcare? Are you honestly telling me that every single one of your know-it-all colleagues at work have been men?

People of both sexes are condescending and you don't have the right to shut half the population out of the debate on the basis of some spurious unproven claim that it is more harmful to you than it is to me. You are in exactly the same boat as I am, with only half a perspective.

Show quote history

Mansplaining is not a communication between two people. It is invariably a one-way monologue.

I can sense your frustration regarding childcare by the way, and appreciate how difficult that has been for you.

Ourladycheesusedatum · 02/06/2023 21:50

BetterFuture1985 · 02/06/2023 18:28

You removed all the context. You're essentially arguing for an echo chamber and then getting annoyed when someone points out the danger of that.

You're also confusing mansplaining with yourgetting upset that people have the nerve to disagree with you. How about you engage in reasoned debate instead?

Show quote history

S L O W H A N D C L A P

for proving the point

TheOrigRights · 02/06/2023 22:04

Scuttlingherbert · 02/06/2023 21:34

Isn't that just plain old stupidity?

LoisLane66 · 02/06/2023 22:59

After 'sprinkling' a few choice words I would have given him a right sprinkling with the w/c.

Lostincyberspace · 03/06/2023 01:05

My ex mainsplained to my female friend how boil a kettle...( in her own house). I spent 5 years with him being told how to best raise my DCs( he had none ) how to feed a cat ( never owned one) and how to do my job when I was on call ( in said job for 8 years v experienced )....have stayed single.

sheworemellowyellow · 03/06/2023 01:11

Ourladycheesusedatum · 02/06/2023 21:50

S L O W H A N D C L A P

for proving the point

Show quote history

He’s mansplaining what mansplaining is. I’d like to think he’s having a laugh, but he actually sounds sincere. In his mansplaining.

CurtainsForBea · 03/06/2023 06:30

This sums up mansplaining for me

https://twitter.com/jmccarty_geo/status/1361332337678639107?lang=en-GB

MadMadaMim · 03/06/2023 07:31

I've voted YABU because why would you ben engage with him???

And FWIW i have never seen anyone anywhere fill the screenwash using a hosepipe. I've been driving for 40 yrs here and abroad. NEVER

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