Who's being a CF here?

[Thatleadsingersbiggestfan]

Ok so help solve this for me please.
DP will be moving in with me & my 2 primary aged DS's later part of this year, date to be confirmed. DP is lovely and both DS's love him.
He has one DD, teens who lives with ex.

Been together 18 months. DP is generally generous. Basic job basic pay, retail.
DP currently living with his dad in his childhood room, only paying £40pw so basically being subsidised to a degree. Dad selling up and moving in with GF soon.
DP has no property, his ex had own house before they met.
I have my own home, mortgaged currently (pretty low payments at this stage) but will be paid off within 5 years or less.

This is also a WWYD.
DP keeps looking at house stuff, ornaments, knick knacks, and furniture etc, yes it's nice he's looking ahead.
Here's the but.
My bedroom furniture will need to be changed, mine is virtually new and I'm happy with it, but DP is tall so he wants to upgrade to a bigger and longer bed (I'm petite) and he also wants a taller wardrobe etc. Fair enough.
He's assuming that I'm going to pay for these?? Or he'll 'chip in' I think where his words when we spoke about it after Xmas. Like it's a favour 🤑.
For context I have a tiny bit of rainy day savings, which I've already eaten into. Struggling like everyone else right now.
I have a low wage p/t job, no means to increase and no support with DSs, no family nearby etc, I get CTC and WFTC, both of which I'll lose once he's moved in.
Should I be telling him he's got to buy the bedroom furniture himself?
I don't feel happy effectively paying for him to move in with me, saving himself maybe 1200pm + in rent and bills he'd have paid once his DF moves away.
Would you expect your shortfall covered at the very least?
Context again, I pay what I can, proportional to my earnings when we go out as a couple, often more than I can afford, but usually less than half.
I don't want to make money from him, but I also don't want to be using any of my own, which I class as for my 2 boys only, to essentially subsidise him moving into my large property cheaply (is-that-even-a-word)
Opinions please MNers!

Unless he's got a lot of long evening dresses I can't see why a new tall wardrobe is necessary at all as most of the men I know wear separates. You are mismatched in all areas. This is not love.

Is he a Bishop? They wear long robes

This is the second time I'm writing to you OP. Please think about your future and the future of your kids. Get rid of this bloke asap. He's going to give you a shit life. Please read what others are saying. Keep dating if you want to, but no way let him live with you. If he really loves you he'll wait.

Is he a Bishop? They wear long robes

Ah, good point, it would explain “living with his FATHER” and not having any money.

😂😂😂

"I might come across as daft but there's no way in ashy hell that I'd allow anyone to get their hands on my house.
It's for my boys, that's it. "

Well, you say that but you keep ignoring all the valid advice telling you that your honourable aim to not allow this to happen will not stop it from happening if you don't take active legal steps to prevent it.

I dont normally comment on these posts but I have to agree with the other posters and say don’t do it.

don’t let him move in at all - your post screams that he’s looking for a woman to subsidise him now he’s losing his easy ride at his dads.

i think the societal expectation for people to have to live together in a committed relationship is so outdated, especially in situations like yours.

Your home is your space for you and your boys, you should keep some separation there, at least for the foreseeable until he’s been forced to stand on his own two feet for a while and prove it’s just not his feet under your table that he wants from your relationship.

I suspect the OP is not coming back as she's going to ignore everyone.

She'll be back in a year saying her kids hate him and have started to act out for her attention, but she can't afford to do anything with them, cocklodger dominates the house, but doesn't contribute anything and she can't get shot of him. He also mentions 'going for half the house' if they split up.

What astonishes me is how this man is managing to avoid standing on his own two feet - ever !
.... the rest of us do, (even if dealt a rough hand), because we want to be a positive image for our children, to help them make the right decisions in their turn ...
Well, life is for making mistakes .... and this one is potentially massive ! So sad, because the OP is evidently doing well in managing thus far to get a reasonable life for herself & her sons .... I'm afraid she will understand too well what the consequences are .... give it a few years.
Would love it to work out well, but the ground work (on his side) is missing.

Hello @Thatleadsingersbiggestfan I am very curious to know if dp brought up his furnishing needs again?

Cock lodger.

There was a poster on here a little while ago whose boyfriend moved in and bought new furniture and threw away her own furniture. Then, when he left, he wanted to take the new furniture with him, which meant that she had to replace everything that he had thrown away.

What do you plan to do with your furniture that he wants to get rid of?

Why on earth have you NOT had a bills conversation??!? You absolutely cannot assume he's going to pay fairly