Contacting school about male teacher

552 replies

Slidingdowntherainbow · 30/05/2023 09:28

My child goes to a preschool attached to a primary school. The Head is always on the gate each morning welcoming children (and parents) in the gates, we see her every morning.

The other day, I went to collect my child earlier than usual and walked past the playing field as usual, it's on the way to the preschool.

It was a hot day and the Head, along with another female colleague, was sitting on a grass bank watching the children and I know they saw this as they laughed.

A male teacher was walking along the playing field with each hand squeezing two girls shoulders. So he was between them, with a hand on each of their outside shoulders, seemingly squeezing. The girls were giggling and the the Head laughed. Not that I think it matters as he shouldn't be touching them at all, but it wasn't a quick squeeze, he was more resting his hands there for a good 30 seconds I'd say.

Anyway, it may be nothing, but it made me feel very uncomfortable. 1) it's inappropriate to touch a pupil for no good reason 2) he gives me the ick anyway, he's a big presence and I sometimes see him when dropping my child off and I just don't like his demeanor, not sure why.

Do I report this? My child won't be going to this school so I'm not worried about that. More that the Head actually saw this with her own eyes and laughed, so I suspect will be defensive. I then have to walk past her daily, potentially for the next two years. Unfortunately I can't report anonymously as I was the only person walking past at this time.

I'm not suggesting anything more than this has happened, but isn't this a slippery slope? Should a teacher (especially male), be touching pupils necks?

Would appreciate opinions please!

OP posts:

jannier · 08/06/2023 08:20

LaGiaconda · 02/06/2023 08:32

I think our daughters lives/are will be difficult.

They will be - if they are not already - exposed to pornography, and - more generally to a visual culture which tells them their only worth lies in their appearance.

They are growing up in a world where if they don't conform to feminine stereotypes they'll be asked if they are trans.

Their single sex spaces - in sports, toilets, changing areas - are under threat.

If they are sexually assaulted their chances of securing a conviction are extremely low.

One of the things I wondered is whether they might be laughing when their male teacher had his hands on them, is because they have already learned the lesson that male attention validates them, and that there are risks involved in refusing that attention. And that the female teachers who observed this interaction felt that the girls acceptance of this attention was part of the natural order of things. The girls were not just learning literacy and numeracy, but how to behave in response to male touch.

God forbid they were actually happy I'm rushing back to my safeguarding now to add laughing as a sign of abuse especially between mixed sexes.

jannier · 08/06/2023 08:27

ReflectedFlowers · 01/06/2023 12:13

I think it’s no “greater” to have a young black male than it is an ‘old, white female’.

Be good at your job. No free passes for being crap based on your sex, race or age.

Show quote history

But she's said he's done well with the children.....and in a time where there are a lot of single parent families with no male role model having a man who's good at his job and can break through the bias against men in primary education is very important add to the a black man showing how you can triumph against prejudices of race and gender even more so. She's never said anything negative about old women teachers ...but they are very common and primary children won't identify with them in the same way.

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