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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'I don't have time to read'

259 replies

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 08:47

Does anyone else get this?

Hobbies wise, apart from walks, I'm not massively active, so I'd say my main hobbies are reading, and listening to podcasts.

The amount of times friends have said they 'don't have time' for either of these things really baffles me - and actually makes me wonder why they seem to say it in a way that implies I have more hours in my day than they do.

We are all at similar points in our lives; working, children, partners, homes to run. They have the time, they just don't have the inclination.

AIBU for wanting to say 'put down the remote control and pick up a book' next time one of them comments?

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 30/05/2023 16:45

Sartre · 30/05/2023 15:28

They don’t want to read but think they’ll sound stupid if they say so. Simple as that. Everyone has time to read if they really want to, sadly lots of people have no interest.

It’s probably comments like this that make people say they don’t have time. Why is it sad that someone likes different things to what you like? Would you say ‘everyone has time to do Zumba if they really want to, sadly lots of people don’t have any interest.’

Kanaloa · 30/05/2023 16:47

purplecorkheart · 30/05/2023 16:19

I think some people think that reading is a huge thing that requires you to sit in a quiet place etc. I read while standing waiting for the washing machine to finish, while something is in the motorway, while on hold on the phone etc.

A lot of people prefer to concentrate on what they read rather than scan the page while on the phone. For some people they absorb themselves rather than surface flick. And that’s ok!

I presume there’s a typo too and you don’t read while driving. If so then that’s a lot more concerning than saying you don’t have time to read.

Wishawisha · 30/05/2023 16:51

crazyaboutcats · 30/05/2023 16:40

I think most people don't have the attention span to read anymore, many can't even watch TV without scrolling on their phones at the same time

It's something both my DH and I are struggling with trying to correct

Yes I read something recently about students at university reading English Lit and how the lecturers say that they are having to set shorter books these days as attention spans are so poor. It’s quite sad.

@Mumoftwoinprimary yes when I’m reading, I’m always reading. Book propped up in the kitchen when I’m cooking, book on the table when I’m eating etc.

Kanaloa · 30/05/2023 16:52

I mean it’s really not hard to see why people feel they have to justify themselves when it’s called sad/depressing and implied they can’t spell as it that’s an insult because they didn’t read a book on a plane.

There’s obviously a huge sense of superiority. Which I’m not saying op displays, but if you’re a non reader who has come across these attitudes of ‘oh you don’t read on the plane? How depressing, you probably can’t spell’ then it’s not surprising that people might try to justify it by saying ‘I don’t have time.’

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 30/05/2023 16:57

I'm the opposite to this - I don't have time to exercise (more then a quick dog walk) or deep clean my house, or even watch TV - because I spend all my time reading !

kingtamponthefurred · 30/05/2023 16:57

If I couldn't find the time to read, I would dump something else, probably housework.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 30/05/2023 16:59

Lovetotravel123 · 30/05/2023 16:44

The most depressing thing I saw recently was a flight full of people on screens. About 2 books on the whole flight. For me a flight is prime reading time. It’s no wonder that most people can’t spell properly.

They may be using an E-Reader?

yoga4meinthemorning · 30/05/2023 17:00

I know a lot of women who just dont sit down. They jump out of bed and dont sit down unless to drive, work, eat, read kids bedtime stories etc.

My DM is like this. Housework can expand to fill any amount of time.

So I can understand how these women say they dont have time to read. It's a different mindset. Id think nothing of leaving dirty dishes if I wanted to read a book.

SchoolShenanigans · 30/05/2023 17:02

YANBU. I say I don't have time to read, what I really mean, is it's not high enough on my list of priorities now that I have much less time since having children.

Simonjt · 30/05/2023 17:09

Lovetotravel123 · 30/05/2023 16:44

The most depressing thing I saw recently was a flight full of people on screens. About 2 books on the whole flight. For me a flight is prime reading time. It’s no wonder that most people can’t spell properly.

Noise, smells (planes always stink) other peoples elbows, dinner service, duty free announcements, planes are awful places to read, thats before you consider whether or not you can fit a bag in your hand luggage. Bit bizarre that you made a point of checking what every passenger was doing several times during a flight.

The majority of peope can spell, what they choose to do on a flight has zero to do with spelling ability.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 30/05/2023 17:11

Newnamefor2021 · 30/05/2023 16:19

I love reading, but I am very time-starved and in constant demand. I don't always have the headspace for reading. But I have children with disabilities, extended family members with disabilities, I own my own business, I survive on less than 6 hours of sleep, as little as three at times, and it's difficult to concentrate on reading when my brain so remembering all the things I should be doing. I think it's less physical time, though and just about my mental health at any given time. If I'm overwhelmed, then I can't stay focused.

I found that when I was time starved / head space starved I would read the same books over and over again. John Grisham’s Runaway Jury was a particular favourite. I used to have a 15 minute break at work and I would open it at random, read for 15 minutes and put it back in my desk drawer. Eventually it started falling apart. It’s not as good as reading a new book and the excitement of where it will take you but it is a bit like eating an apple when you miss dinner - it does at least fill the hole temporarily.

Catchasingmewithspiders · 30/05/2023 17:19

Lovetotravel123 · 30/05/2023 16:44

The most depressing thing I saw recently was a flight full of people on screens. About 2 books on the whole flight. For me a flight is prime reading time. It’s no wonder that most people can’t spell properly.

I read on my kindle app on my phone. I love to read proper books as well but theres no way Im packing books to take on a plane.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 30/05/2023 17:47

Lovetotravel123 · 30/05/2023 16:44

The most depressing thing I saw recently was a flight full of people on screens. About 2 books on the whole flight. For me a flight is prime reading time. It’s no wonder that most people can’t spell properly.

My 10 year old reader son is the other way around. Spelling - fabulous. Vocabulary - amazing. Pronunciation of words he has only seen in books - occasionally adorably hilarious.

Beneficialchampion2 · 30/05/2023 18:03

Most people don't have time to do things such as keep fit and read because they spend their days consuming shit, be it scrolling the internet for hours on end., Eating junk food, Smoking, drinking.

Those that claim to not have time, do not prioritise.

bathty · 30/05/2023 18:22

I struggle to fit in exercise & reading. I used to read voraciously as a dc but get very consumed by it. Some of us do have busier lives though as a lot depends on what stage dc are, if you have them, if you work, commute, big family, etc.

I feel like I'm always on the go but it's not because I care about housework & I don't smoke or drink! I don't use social media apart from MNs

I was up at 6:30 today for work & finished at 1:30. Met a colleague for lunch & on way home saw a friend for tea/chat. Then went and collected the dc from holiday club. DH had made their dinner last night so I just needed to warm it up. I still need to post something tonight & sort out the washing as we are off on holiday on Thursday. I will probably read two pages of my book before I fall asleep! Even on holiday I won't be able to read much due to activities & dc wanting & needing supervision.

FloydWasACat · 30/05/2023 18:23

aperolspritzbasicbitch thank you OP, I didn't meant be snappy sorry.

aSofaNearYou · 30/05/2023 18:25

Kanaloa · 30/05/2023 16:52

I mean it’s really not hard to see why people feel they have to justify themselves when it’s called sad/depressing and implied they can’t spell as it that’s an insult because they didn’t read a book on a plane.

There’s obviously a huge sense of superiority. Which I’m not saying op displays, but if you’re a non reader who has come across these attitudes of ‘oh you don’t read on the plane? How depressing, you probably can’t spell’ then it’s not surprising that people might try to justify it by saying ‘I don’t have time.’

This exactly. Some recent comments have really been proving the point of why people feel the need to make these comments to justify their actions.

BogRollBOGOF · 30/05/2023 18:37

I like a chunk of time without distractions to read a novel, in the same way that I like a block of time to have a bath.

In reality, I do read... I've read this thread over 4 hours between doing housework, going for a run and the food shopping. Reading MN is something that can be picked up and put down easily. I don't end up re-reading the same paragraphs eleventy billion times between interuptions like I do with a book. In reality, MN isn't so different to reading a magazine or the fluffier end of chick lit.
I read books to my DCs. that's not reading for my relaxation, but it is reading and is purposeful. I read magazines and news.

I just find it hard to have chunks of time when I'm in the state where I can relax into a book. If it's a time when I'm interrupted, it's like trying to watch The Lord of The Rings or Game of Thrones in 10 minute installments.

The reading I do fills gaps or functions like a shower functions instead of a bath. I might not bath frequently, but that doesn't mean I'm not clean.

My family are not keen readers because dyslexia makes it hard work for them and they have little spare capacity/ attention span left to read for pleasure after school/ work.

Ffsmakeitstop · 30/05/2023 18:38

don’t think it’s judgy. It’s being irritated that people are acting as if you are lucky to have free time to do something when in reality they also have free time and just choose to do something else.
This. Usually glued to their phones.

My colleagues and I went to a quiz night and the only two people who had a good range of general knowledge are both prolific readers. I know the others don't read for pleasure because we've discussed it. I do think there is a link between enjoying reading and taking in information.

MullerInk · 30/05/2023 18:42

I'm reading an amazing book at the moment. I also have 2 kids, reports to write and planning for next term to do. I am up at 5:30 with the kids and asleep at 9:30. I don't have time to read.

JenWillsiam · 30/05/2023 18:48

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 30/05/2023 08:54

If people have time to watch a film, or tv series, they have time to read, they just don't want to.

As I said in my post, we are all at the same points in our lives.

No one is in a carers role, other than to their healthy children.

Absolutely not true. I don’t have the mental capacity to read at the end of the day. I can easily collapse on the couch and watch something.

Sunshine275 · 30/05/2023 18:50

I would be guilty of saying this, but it’s mainly because I like my TV I can switch off and this be my down time which is on an evening I don’t watch TV during the day. So for me getting a book isn’t a way I can relax it’s something I have to really concentrate on. So for me I’d say I don’t have that gap on an evening where I have the mind set to want to focus on a book. I work. I have kids. I would be one to say ‘I don’t have time’ - on holiday I read because the everyday pressures of work and chores aren’t there, so I can relax and read a book (two totally different things to me, they don’t come hand in hand)

NotMyMill · 30/05/2023 18:56

I understand what you mean Op, I have a friend who hasn’t read a book since her oldest was born. She also says she has np time to work out or go for regular walks.

Her oldest is now 17 btw and the youngest is 13! She only works 16 hours a week and doesn’t have any other caring responsibilities for eg. Older parents. She isn’t involved with any of her children’s school or part of any clubs herself. Her free time is spent mainly at home scrolling and frequently texting. I’m not judging anyone for that but it’s irritating when people say “you’re lucky” to go to the gym or be able to read etc when they have that same ‘luxury’ open to them and the truth is they can’t be bothered.

I have went through long periods of time I haven’t read or workout regularly and I just Own it and say I chose to prioritise other things or I couldn’t be bothered, rather than claiming I’m oh so busy and important to everyone around me that no-one can possibly spare me taking some time out to do those things.

This might be the reality for some people but the people I am talking about who say this definitely do have the time.

Blossomtoes · 30/05/2023 18:57

Lovetotravel123 · 30/05/2023 16:44

The most depressing thing I saw recently was a flight full of people on screens. About 2 books on the whole flight. For me a flight is prime reading time. It’s no wonder that most people can’t spell properly.

I read three or four novels a week on a kindle, I assume quite a few of those people were reading one.

WolfFoxHare · 30/05/2023 18:57

I absolutely have time to read and I love reading. But in the evenings after a full day at work and then feeding the family and doing all the other chores I need to do (even with DH doing his fair share) I’m too tired to concentrate. I doomscroll and watch tv instead. When I get a day off to myself (not necessarily at the weekend as I find they’re as busy if you have kids) or when I’m travelling for work (lots of downtime at the airport, and when not in meetings) I read a LOT. I got through three novels during my last two day trip away and that’s fairly usual for me.

I expect a lot of other people are like this - if they had more time OR more energy, they’d read more but instead they do things that require less effort, even though the payoff is lower. Of course, some people just prefer not to read but don’t want to say that.