Page 37 | DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

Safarigiraffe · 2023-05-29T22:07:20+00:00

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work) So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2023 23:02

NotReallyBotheredByThis · 30/05/2023 22:06

Oh my word - are you for real???

Get a bloody life!!

Personally if I have to be up early the next day I'd like a nice relaxed evening the night before.

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I think you need a new username. Or you need to use less punctuation.

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 23:24

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 23:01

Does anyone on this thread have real dilemmas? Asking for a friend…

Yesterday, I had to be home by 8pm but my train was running an hour late.

Was it rude of me to flick the v's at the train station and get the bus? The train driver doesn't believe that I needed to be home by 8pm at all.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 23:34

Can you do a poll within a poll? I’d like to ask if this thread is going to be finished before 2024..

Zone2NorthLondon · 30/05/2023 23:39

turn the thread into a drinking game. A glug for every
Rude
Thoughtless
Brat
Hammered within first 2 pages

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 23:42

Zone2NorthLondon · 30/05/2023 23:39

turn the thread into a drinking game. A glug for every
Rude
Thoughtless
Brat
Hammered within first 2 pages

😂😂😂

Kennykenkencat · 31/05/2023 05:15

GrinAndVomit · 30/05/2023 12:36

Are you genuinely an employer who would really think that if they heard an employee left an event early to get home and prepared in time for work the next day?

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Yes and yes

I would think it mighty odd behaviour

Lifeisapeach · 31/05/2023 06:44

YABU

Thats rude to leave a meal half way through. Plus it was paid for already. Hour late or not. Was there another reason she wanted to get out of there and using work as an excuse. 6:30 rise for work the next day doesn’t warrant having to leave a wedding during the wedding meal.

GrinAndVomit · 31/05/2023 07:54

Kennykenkencat · 31/05/2023 05:15

Yes and yes

I would think it mighty odd behaviour

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And you’d refuse a member of staff overtime based on this? You’d refuse that member of staff additional responsibility or promotion because of this?

Give over.
This is the most ridiculous thread I’ve seen in a while.

GrinAndVomit · 31/05/2023 07:56

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 30/05/2023 21:11

And if everyone decided to leave part way through the meal, would have been pretty rubbish for the bride and groom

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But, an equally ridiculous “what about” would be:
“What if everyone would need to leave early so declined the invite altogether and no one went to the wedding!”

DeedlessIndeed · 31/05/2023 08:01

See, I think DD was really rude. She could have waited until main course had been served and eaten. Or, if she really cannot cope with 1hrs less sleep, she should have declined the invite.

I'm looking to get married and catering seems to be between £100-200 per head! I'd be quite annoyed if someone left before mains for such a flimsy reason TBH.

MIL probably didn't handle it well, but she was probably embarrassed.

Kennykenkencat · 31/05/2023 08:49

GrinAndVomit · 31/05/2023 07:54

And you’d refuse a member of staff overtime based on this? You’d refuse that member of staff additional responsibility or promotion because of this?

Give over.
This is the most ridiculous thread I’ve seen in a while.

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No over time given but I wouldn’t hire them as I could see a whole lot of issues and would wonder if they were up for the job

Scrumbleton · 31/05/2023 09:02

Following the herd on this one. The in laws should not have reacted but your DD should have stayed for the full meal - that's a ridiculously early time to leave due to an early start and a selfish waste of other people's money. Frankly in your shoes I'd have been challenging her too!

SS1983 · 31/05/2023 09:06

I think it depends on what DD occupation is. If she is a surgeon, pilot?? , some kind of machine operator, driver etc, then she is being sensible. Else, I agree for office job it is early. I'd have just asked to wfh etc in such cases. But hard to judge without knowing in my opinion

LuckySantangelo35 · 31/05/2023 09:13

SS1983 · 31/05/2023 09:06

I think it depends on what DD occupation is. If she is a surgeon, pilot?? , some kind of machine operator, driver etc, then she is being sensible. Else, I agree for office job it is early. I'd have just asked to wfh etc in such cases. But hard to judge without knowing in my opinion

@SS1983

pretty sure few people in those occupations get 10.5 hours sleep every night before work!

Babyboomtastic · 31/05/2023 09:15

SS1983 · 31/05/2023 09:06

I think it depends on what DD occupation is. If she is a surgeon, pilot?? , some kind of machine operator, driver etc, then she is being sensible. Else, I agree for office job it is early. I'd have just asked to wfh etc in such cases. But hard to judge without knowing in my opinion

She's 19 so we can rule out being a pilot or a brain surgeon for a start 😂

I'm any event, even for those sorts of jobs, most won't be getting 10hrs sleep a night. They have lives, kids etc.

A 6.30 start isn't especially early.

Mine was 5.30 today (after going to sleep at half midnight and having a wake up at 3.30). I'm sat at my laptop now...

Frankly, if a 19yo is so tired that she's needs to sleep for 10 hours every night, then she needs to go to the doctor's to get it checked out. At that age I remember staying up all night a few times, and making it in to university or with the next morning.

peacelemon · 31/05/2023 09:16

Babyboomtastic · 31/05/2023 09:15

She's 19 so we can rule out being a pilot or a brain surgeon for a start 😂

I'm any event, even for those sorts of jobs, most won't be getting 10hrs sleep a night. They have lives, kids etc.

A 6.30 start isn't especially early.

Mine was 5.30 today (after going to sleep at half midnight and having a wake up at 3.30). I'm sat at my laptop now...

Frankly, if a 19yo is so tired that she's needs to sleep for 10 hours every night, then she needs to go to the doctor's to get it checked out. At that age I remember staying up all night a few times, and making it in to university or with the next morning.

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They have to train

SS1983 · 31/05/2023 09:19

@LuckySantangelo35 @Babyboomtastic honestly i have no idea , not sure why I added my two cents 😆

I do have an office job, and one twin who goes to bed late and wakes up 545. I go to bed past 11 just because I want some sort of evening ! And wake up before 6, so thats the norm for me. No idea about longer sleeping patterns. I’d completely missed she was 19, so agree can rule out my list ! Probably I need more sleep..

GrinAndVomit · 31/05/2023 09:20

Kennykenkencat · 31/05/2023 08:49

No over time given but I wouldn’t hire them as I could see a whole lot of issues and would wonder if they were up for the job

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😂😂😂

Babyboomtastic · 31/05/2023 11:10

peacelemon · 31/05/2023 09:16

They have to train

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😂😂😂😂😂

brain surgeon. At 19 she'd be a first year med student, and the only brain she would be near is for dissection. In any event, we know she's doing to work. Clearly not a brain surgeon in training. It's not exactly a straight from school apprenticeship job.
pilot. She's arguing with her dad about paying for a flat tyre on her car. I think the chances of her affording the roughly £100k to get her pilots licence at 19 is staggeringly small. She could learn with the RAF, but it's unlikely given she's living at home, this was not mentioned.

In any event, 7-8 hours would be plenty even if she was on the worlds first hand on brain surgery apprenticeship for teenagers 😂

bidenfor · 31/05/2023 11:30

Scrumbleton · 31/05/2023 09:02

Following the herd on this one. The in laws should not have reacted but your DD should have stayed for the full meal - that's a ridiculously early time to leave due to an early start and a selfish waste of other people's money. Frankly in your shoes I'd have been challenging her too!

Yes and she still needs to eat her dinner so it's weird

KarmaStar · 31/05/2023 11:45

She was rude to leave before the end of the meal.for goodness sake she's going to bed for 9pm ? The meal was probably expensive,she could have easily waited for it to be finished.

Bookworm20 · 31/05/2023 12:10

She wanted to leave at a certain time, she did so. And that's literally the entire story.

Exactly. and the OP asked was it rude to do that.
I would say the answer is a unanimous yes.

She sounds like an entitled, selfish, mannerless teenager. Just because SHE wanted to do something, does not mean it is acceptable behaviour. But then it seems if that's what SHE wanted, that's what SHE gets. Fuck anyone else.

And if she couldn't figure the possibilty of an hour (wasn't even multiple hours!) delay at a wedding ffs she is either off the chart selfish or incredibly thick. I think either of those puts pay to her being a brain surgeon performing life saving surgery at 6.30am and more in the camp of rude brat who needed to make sure her hair and makeup were perfect for her shift at the local shop/cafe/office. Or the fact she had plans at 8pm to go out on the piss with her friends/BF and those trumped any respect or decency towards the bride and groom.

And the MIL simply wanted her to stay, yes she got up from the table and followed her outside to talk her granddaughter into staying (because she probably couldn't fathom how someone could be so rude as to leave mid meal). Her father also got up and followed her out because she apparantly needed walking to her car.

I can catagorically say that if I'd coughed up £100 for a meal at my wedding and a teenager left mid meal for absolutely no reason whatsoever, except needing to 'go to bed at 8pm, so they had time to get themselves pruned for work the next day' i'd be less than impressed and think what a rude inconsideate person. It costs nothing to have some manners, except on occasion, such as a one off bloody wedding, may cost a tiny bit of effort or putting yourself out a little. Hardly rocket science is it.

All those saying well she wanted to go, and it was running an hour late, so she is fine to just do what she wants, must have zero understanding of social graces. Sometimes you need to be a little less selfish and actually, you know, consider other people above your 'wants' ffs.

Frabbits · 31/05/2023 12:43

"I would say the answer is a unanimous yes."

Well, it's not. Some people think it's rude, some people don't.

Summertimesmile · 31/05/2023 12:43

Bookworm20 · 31/05/2023 12:10

She wanted to leave at a certain time, she did so. And that's literally the entire story.

Exactly. and the OP asked was it rude to do that.
I would say the answer is a unanimous yes.

She sounds like an entitled, selfish, mannerless teenager. Just because SHE wanted to do something, does not mean it is acceptable behaviour. But then it seems if that's what SHE wanted, that's what SHE gets. Fuck anyone else.

And if she couldn't figure the possibilty of an hour (wasn't even multiple hours!) delay at a wedding ffs she is either off the chart selfish or incredibly thick. I think either of those puts pay to her being a brain surgeon performing life saving surgery at 6.30am and more in the camp of rude brat who needed to make sure her hair and makeup were perfect for her shift at the local shop/cafe/office. Or the fact she had plans at 8pm to go out on the piss with her friends/BF and those trumped any respect or decency towards the bride and groom.

And the MIL simply wanted her to stay, yes she got up from the table and followed her outside to talk her granddaughter into staying (because she probably couldn't fathom how someone could be so rude as to leave mid meal). Her father also got up and followed her out because she apparantly needed walking to her car.

I can catagorically say that if I'd coughed up £100 for a meal at my wedding and a teenager left mid meal for absolutely no reason whatsoever, except needing to 'go to bed at 8pm, so they had time to get themselves pruned for work the next day' i'd be less than impressed and think what a rude inconsideate person. It costs nothing to have some manners, except on occasion, such as a one off bloody wedding, may cost a tiny bit of effort or putting yourself out a little. Hardly rocket science is it.

All those saying well she wanted to go, and it was running an hour late, so she is fine to just do what she wants, must have zero understanding of social graces. Sometimes you need to be a little less selfish and actually, you know, consider other people above your 'wants' ffs.

Hurrah the sense of voice and reason, thank you

NancyDrooo · 31/05/2023 13:04

The daughter earns commission at work (per previous thread) so I think we can rule out most life or death situation type jobs.

OP, I imagine you stopped reading when you realised it wasn’t going your way despite your best efforts to paint granny as a monster, but maybe consider the perception your in-laws and other guests have of your rude daughter. There is, of course, a good chance you don’t give a shit - after all the apple never falls far from the tree.