Page 35 | DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

Safarigiraffe · 2023-05-29T22:07:20+00:00

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work) So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

Zone2NorthLondon · 30/05/2023 20:50

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 20:48

If you organised a birthday meal in a restaurant for your friends and family and had paid for everyone's meal in advance, and someone showed up, had a drink, ate their starter and then left before the main course because they had decided they had somewhere else to be (whether that somewhere else was in bed, at another party or with their boyfriend), wouldn't you be a bit miffed?

Especially if the circumstances were known about well in advance.

She had to get up at 6:30. Lights out at 10:30 would have given her a full eight hours of shut eye.

She will probably have spent half an hour making herself something to eat at home and eating it, which means leaving before the expensive dinner was served will have saved her zero time.

She's a brat.

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You have literally invented a scenario (with timings) to suit your own posts
thats a lot of brass neck

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 20:50

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 20:48

If you organised a birthday meal in a restaurant for your friends and family and had paid for everyone's meal in advance, and someone showed up, had a drink, ate their starter and then left before the main course because they had decided they had somewhere else to be (whether that somewhere else was in bed, at another party or with their boyfriend), wouldn't you be a bit miffed?

Especially if the circumstances were known about well in advance.

She had to get up at 6:30. Lights out at 10:30 would have given her a full eight hours of shut eye.

She will probably have spent half an hour making herself something to eat at home and eating it, which means leaving before the expensive dinner was served will have saved her zero time.

She's a brat.

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It wasn't a birthday party. It's not the same thing at all.

And a guest at my wedding did exactly this. They could only come for a few hours, and luckily the meal was done and dusted in that time but I was just happy they were there at all. If they had left before they had had desert I wouldn't have given a flying fuck, I was just happy to see them.

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 20:53

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 20:50

It wasn't a birthday party. It's not the same thing at all.

And a guest at my wedding did exactly this. They could only come for a few hours, and luckily the meal was done and dusted in that time but I was just happy they were there at all. If they had left before they had had desert I wouldn't have given a flying fuck, I was just happy to see them.

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Why isn't it the same thing? A wedding is a bigger deal than a birthday really, but in both situations you've paid for a meal that someone has chosen not to eat due to completely foreseen circumstances which meant they decided to leave early.

Redbone · 30/05/2023 20:57

I think that your DD was incredibly rude and that you were enabling her poor behavior. She really didn’t need to leave that early for a 6.30am the next day. She should have declined the invite and if I had helped pay for the wedding I would be furious!

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 20:58

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 20:39

The point still remains though that you have no fucking idea though, do you?

She wanted to leave at a certain time, she did so. And that's literally the entire story.

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@Frabbits

er no.

the story was that she was very rude.

no one needs to leave a wedding mid way through a meal to get home for 8pm when they have to get up for 6.30am for work the next day.

soz, but that’s the way it is - she was rude

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2023 21:03

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 20:50

It wasn't a birthday party. It's not the same thing at all.

And a guest at my wedding did exactly this. They could only come for a few hours, and luckily the meal was done and dusted in that time but I was just happy they were there at all. If they had left before they had had desert I wouldn't have given a flying fuck, I was just happy to see them.

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Why is a birthday party more important in your eyes? I’ve had many birthdays. I’ve had one wedding.

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/05/2023 21:06

@LuckySantangelo35

lol do you really think OP left so early to go sit and home and ‘focus on her job’? Do you think she just sat there for a couple of hours thinking about it and then went to bed? Haha

I don't know and I don't really care tbh.

She had her reasons and she left early. Her reasons are irrelevant. She flagged to the bride and groom. It will all have been paid for anyway and her leaving early won't have impacted anyone. It's a non story. But her in-laws chose to behave as if she had committed a murder.

I find it bizarre that people have got themselves into such a froth about this. People are nuts about weddings and all rational thought goes out of the window.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 30/05/2023 21:10

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/05/2023 21:06

@LuckySantangelo35

lol do you really think OP left so early to go sit and home and ‘focus on her job’? Do you think she just sat there for a couple of hours thinking about it and then went to bed? Haha

I don't know and I don't really care tbh.

She had her reasons and she left early. Her reasons are irrelevant. She flagged to the bride and groom. It will all have been paid for anyway and her leaving early won't have impacted anyone. It's a non story. But her in-laws chose to behave as if she had committed a murder.

I find it bizarre that people have got themselves into such a froth about this. People are nuts about weddings and all rational thought goes out of the window.

Well it won’t have been paid for if she declined the invitation and just didn’t go. That’s the same as saying you just won’t turn up to a theatre trip with a friend who had bought you a ticket as it will have been paid for anyway.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 30/05/2023 21:11

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/05/2023 21:06

@LuckySantangelo35

lol do you really think OP left so early to go sit and home and ‘focus on her job’? Do you think she just sat there for a couple of hours thinking about it and then went to bed? Haha

I don't know and I don't really care tbh.

She had her reasons and she left early. Her reasons are irrelevant. She flagged to the bride and groom. It will all have been paid for anyway and her leaving early won't have impacted anyone. It's a non story. But her in-laws chose to behave as if she had committed a murder.

I find it bizarre that people have got themselves into such a froth about this. People are nuts about weddings and all rational thought goes out of the window.

And if everyone decided to leave part way through the meal, would have been pretty rubbish for the bride and groom

Babyboomtastic · 30/05/2023 21:15

It's bizarre. Many adults are up at 6.30 early, whether because of work, kids or both. Few go to bed at 8.30! Lots of us go to bed newsletter midnight and get woken in the night before getting up before 6.30.

I can't believe that a 19yo needs that much sleep and can't have one 'late' night.

From other threads, she sounds like a bit of a handful - shouting at mum, grabbing and throwing her phone, because mum was a bit lost picking her up one evening.

It sounds like she's pandered to a lot.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:19

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2023 21:03

Why is a birthday party more important in your eyes? I’ve had many birthdays. I’ve had one wedding.

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I don’t believe @Frabbits was saying that one is more important than the other, they were drawing the comparison of big celebrations being on a par.

You might (at this point in time) have only had one wedding, but you may have more in the future. Also you’ll only ever have one 21st, one 40th, etc. birthday.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 21:19

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/05/2023 21:06

@LuckySantangelo35

lol do you really think OP left so early to go sit and home and ‘focus on her job’? Do you think she just sat there for a couple of hours thinking about it and then went to bed? Haha

I don't know and I don't really care tbh.

She had her reasons and she left early. Her reasons are irrelevant. She flagged to the bride and groom. It will all have been paid for anyway and her leaving early won't have impacted anyone. It's a non story. But her in-laws chose to behave as if she had committed a murder.

I find it bizarre that people have got themselves into such a froth about this. People are nuts about weddings and all rational thought goes out of the window.

@Thepeopleversuswork

she should never have accepted the invite in the first place. Then the bride and groom could have invited someone who would have appreciated it more and not wasted the meal and stuck around to celebrate with the bride and groom

and the bride and groom may not have expressed any annoyance at the time because well how could they really? They were probably too polite to do so. But they will have been pissed off. And with good reason.

oh and the reason why people feel weddings are important and make a fuss about them? Because they cost a bloody fortune. But surely you know this.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:20

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 30/05/2023 21:11

And if everyone decided to leave part way through the meal, would have been pretty rubbish for the bride and groom

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When has that EVER happened?! 😂

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:22

When is the stage play of this thread coming out? I ask now so I can get tickets in time. Might duck out during the interval though…

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2023 21:25

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:19

I don’t believe @Frabbits was saying that one is more important than the other, they were drawing the comparison of big celebrations being on a par.

You might (at this point in time) have only had one wedding, but you may have more in the future. Also you’ll only ever have one 21st, one 40th, etc. birthday.

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Oh I think they were.

I suppose I could have another wedding, I know I’ll have another birthday.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:34

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2023 21:25

Oh I think they were.

I suppose I could have another wedding, I know I’ll have another birthday.

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Not how I read it. How many 21sts are you planning to have?

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 21:38

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 20:58

@Frabbits

er no.

the story was that she was very rude.

no one needs to leave a wedding mid way through a meal to get home for 8pm when they have to get up for 6.30am for work the next day.

soz, but that’s the way it is - she was rude

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Some people do. You literally have no idea and are just making shit up.

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 21:41

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2023 21:25

Oh I think they were.

I suppose I could have another wedding, I know I’ll have another birthday.

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No, I wasn't. Don't put words in my mouth, thanks all the same.

For a thread where people are jumping over themselves to label some unknown girl as rude, it's odd that so many are being incredibly rude to people who are daring to express a contrary opinion to the group think. Almost hypocrites, one could say.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 21:43

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 21:38

Some people do. You literally have no idea and are just making shit up.

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@Frabbits

what am I making up?

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/05/2023 21:46

@LuckySantangelo35

But they will have been pissed off. And with good reason.

They won’t have given a tinker’s cuss. Probably will barely have noticed.

Imagine the scenario: your wedding day, with a cast of thousands and your entire extended family is there. You are dressed up in your finery, drunk and happy catching up with old friends and overjoyed finally have tied the knot with your true love. You look into your beloved’s eyes and contemplate your future together.

What’s on your mind on this precious moment in your life? Ah yes, the fact that your third cousin twice removed who you have met three times in your life and was sitting right at the back of the room didn’t stick around to eat the rack of lamb…

Ridiculous.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 21:47

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 21:38

Some people do. You literally have no idea and are just making shit up.

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@Frabbits

oh and no, no one needs to have 10.5 hours of sleep every single night before work. That’s not making anything up. That’s just a fact.

LittleBearPad · 30/05/2023 21:47

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 21:41

No, I wasn't. Don't put words in my mouth, thanks all the same.

For a thread where people are jumping over themselves to label some unknown girl as rude, it's odd that so many are being incredibly rude to people who are daring to express a contrary opinion to the group think. Almost hypocrites, one could say.

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What was rude about my post?

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 21:48

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/05/2023 21:46

@LuckySantangelo35

But they will have been pissed off. And with good reason.

They won’t have given a tinker’s cuss. Probably will barely have noticed.

Imagine the scenario: your wedding day, with a cast of thousands and your entire extended family is there. You are dressed up in your finery, drunk and happy catching up with old friends and overjoyed finally have tied the knot with your true love. You look into your beloved’s eyes and contemplate your future together.

What’s on your mind on this precious moment in your life? Ah yes, the fact that your third cousin twice removed who you have met three times in your life and was sitting right at the back of the room didn’t stick around to eat the rack of lamb…

Ridiculous.

@Thepeopleversuswork

so? Doesn’t mean it wasn’t rude

SocksAndTheCity · 30/05/2023 21:50

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 21:43

@Frabbits

what am I making up?

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You have decided that young woman did not 'need' to leave the wedding when she did, despite having absolutely no idea of the circumstances (nowhere did the OP say that she needed to immediately go to bed when she got in, for example), or the reason she did.

No one has any idea of the reason/s, because the OP didn't bother posting them beyond some vagueness about work, which means an awful lot of speculative gap-filling is taking place. Also known as 'making things up'.

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/05/2023 21:51

@LuckySantangelo35

Doesn’t mean it wasn’t rude.

But it apparently justifies world war three breaking out between overbearing in laws and a 35 page thread on Mumsnet. Give over.