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AIBU?

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Original poster

DD left wedding early cos of work - should family of kept out of it

1000 replies

Safarigiraffe · 29/05/2023 23:07

Hi went to family wedding last night & stayed overnight in hotel. DD couldn’t stay overnight as she was working today however she did come to wedding but here’s the AIBU or not - wedding was running later than expected & DD had to leave by a certain time to be back home as she was up 630 today for work. When DD went to leave everyone on our immediate table (MIL, BIL mainly) made a huge scene about why DD was leaving early as food hadn’t yet arrived (Starters she had but as main food was running a hour late she couldn’t wait for that) & as my husband went to walk DD to car park MIL ran after them both expressing herself over why DD was leaving early (she knew she had to leave early for work)
So AIBU to think that maybe no one should have got involved causing a scene or was DD being unreasonable for having to leave without eating main food when it was already running a hour late and she had to leave to get back home (journey home was hour and a half so she didn’t get in until 8/815)

OP posts:
Frabbits · 30/05/2023 21:52

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 21:47

@Frabbits

oh and no, no one needs to have 10.5 hours of sleep every single night before work. That’s not making anything up. That’s just a fact.

Show quote history

The woman needed to get home and had to finish off something that was needed for a meeting.

There. Took me no time to think of a reason why she needed to get away.

Of course, I have no idea if it's true, but you seem happy to assume the worst so I'm choosing to assume she had a reason to impose a deadline.

And neither of us know which of us are right, soooo.. yeah. How's the weather with you?

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 21:52

A question for people who think the B&G wouldn't have cared.

Do you think the B&G really really wanted the second cousin there, or do you think they were guilt tripped into inviting her?

If you think they really wanted her there, do you think they are re-evaluating the relationship.

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 21:54

@Frabbits she's 19 not going to have high powered meetings. And she knew she was going to a wedding could have preped the night before.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 21:55

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 21:54

@Frabbits she's 19 not going to have high powered meetings. And she knew she was going to a wedding could have preped the night before.

@Frabbits

this

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:56

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 21:52

A question for people who think the B&G wouldn't have cared.

Do you think the B&G really really wanted the second cousin there, or do you think they were guilt tripped into inviting her?

If you think they really wanted her there, do you think they are re-evaluating the relationship.

You may as well try and guess her middle name, what she had for breakfast yesterday and what colour are her favourite socks. None of us know. Idle speculation.

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 21:58

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 21:55

@Frabbits

this

Show quote history

Once more, with feeling.

You don't know the reason. That was my point. I literally said that. I mean, do you need me to try the crayons or interpretive dance?

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 22:01

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 21:58

Once more, with feeling.

You don't know the reason. That was my point. I literally said that. I mean, do you need me to try the crayons or interpretive dance?

Show quote history

@Frabbits

yes we do know the reason though! Op literally says it in her first line, her daughter left cos she had to be up for work at 6.30am. So yeah we do know the reason. She doesn’t need 10.5 hrs sleep as she is not a baby. Any prep she needed to do for work she should have done before. Therefore she was rude and unreasonable. Hope that summary helps.

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/05/2023 22:03

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 21:52

A question for people who think the B&G wouldn't have cared.

Do you think the B&G really really wanted the second cousin there, or do you think they were guilt tripped into inviting her?

If you think they really wanted her there, do you think they are re-evaluating the relationship.

I think there’s some serious projection going on here

None of us have the faintest idea what this girl’s reasons are for leaving. None of us know how the bride and groom felt or if they even noticed.

i can guarantee if it was my (hypothetical) wedding neither my partner nor I would have given a shiny shit. But we would have been mortified if a distant relative was browbeaten by her parents for leaving early.

What an absurd drama.

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 22:04

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 21:54

@Frabbits she's 19 not going to have high powered meetings. And she knew she was going to a wedding could have preped the night before.

Being ageist is pretty rude. Just saying.

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 22:06

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/05/2023 22:01

@Frabbits

yes we do know the reason though! Op literally says it in her first line, her daughter left cos she had to be up for work at 6.30am. So yeah we do know the reason. She doesn’t need 10.5 hrs sleep as she is not a baby. Any prep she needed to do for work she should have done before. Therefore she was rude and unreasonable. Hope that summary helps.

Show quote history

Nope, you don't know why she wanted to be home for 8. You don't have a scooby fucking do.

It's ok, I'll find the ballet shoes. Give me a sec.

NotReallyBotheredByThis · 30/05/2023 22:06

alphajuliet123 · 29/05/2023 23:16

Really rude of her to leave half way through a wedding meal which presumably had been paid for. Really rude. She could easily have stayed another hour and still got a good 8 hours sleep. Rude rude rude.

Oh my word - are you for real???

Get a bloody life!!

Personally if I have to be up early the next day I'd like a nice relaxed evening the night before.

NotAMug · 30/05/2023 22:19

Redbone · 30/05/2023 20:57

I think that your DD was incredibly rude and that you were enabling her poor behavior. She really didn’t need to leave that early for a 6.30am the next day. She should have declined the invite and if I had helped pay for the wedding I would be furious!

Honestly people pander to their DCs so much these days.

My two attended a Thursday night wedding recently. One had school and the other had college the following day. They left at 1130pm after the evening do had pretty much finished so they could relieve the dog sitter. It was a 40 min drive. They knew about the wedding months in advance so knew they needed to prepare for the next day either before the event or when they got home. Having 6 hrs sleep is pretty reasonable for most people after a one off event.

NotAMug · 30/05/2023 22:20

NotReallyBotheredByThis · 30/05/2023 22:06

Oh my word - are you for real???

Get a bloody life!!

Personally if I have to be up early the next day I'd like a nice relaxed evening the night before.

Show quote history

Even if it meant you leaving a wedding half way through the meal. Are you for real???

SerafinasGoose · 30/05/2023 22:26

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 21:22

When is the stage play of this thread coming out? I ask now so I can get tickets in time. Might duck out during the interval though…

Oh, no, you won't!

I'll get me coat .......

alphajuliet123 · 30/05/2023 22:26

NotReallyBotheredByThis · 30/05/2023 22:06

Oh my word - are you for real???

Get a bloody life!!

Personally if I have to be up early the next day I'd like a nice relaxed evening the night before.

Show quote history

Yeah I’m for real. She should’ve declined the meal and just attended the service if she was going to be that wet. But you do rude.

MargotBamborough · 30/05/2023 22:27

NotReallyBotheredByThis · 30/05/2023 22:06

Oh my word - are you for real???

Get a bloody life!!

Personally if I have to be up early the next day I'd like a nice relaxed evening the night before.

Show quote history

Don't accept a wedding invitation for the day before then? Or tell the bride and groom you'll just come to the ceremony so you can be tucked up in bed with your cocoa by 8pm, so they don't have an empty chair and a wasted meal.

RampantIvy · 30/05/2023 22:28

Personally if I have to be up early the next day I'd like a nice relaxed evening the night before.

But you would have declined the invitation then, wouldn't you @NotReallyBotheredByThis?

I think we all know that the DD just wanted to see her boyfriend. It doesn't take two hours to get things ready for work the following day.

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 22:30

SerafinasGoose · 30/05/2023 22:26

Oh, no, you won't!

I'll get me coat .......

Show quote history

Love it! Think the thread needed that in all honesty!

Codlingmoths · 30/05/2023 22:48

Fizbosshoes · 30/05/2023 14:22

I think everyone is being unreasonable for wanting a meal at this time of year. I had a massive salad last summer and I'm completely stuffed

😁😁😁

SunshineCrescent · 30/05/2023 22:49

Unless there is anything we are not aware of.
I don't quite understand why DD "had to" leave, it does feel super early and the meal would of been paid for.

I think waiting for the Food would of been the polite and reasonable decision in this situation.

That been said MILs actions were a bit embarrassing and OTT.

Codlingmoths · 30/05/2023 22:51

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 22:04

Being ageist is pretty rude. Just saying.

Show quote history

Is it ageist of me to give my 1 year old a bottle but not the older dc? Not every assumption is ageist. Some is just a practical grasp of reality.

Sugarfree23 · 30/05/2023 22:56

@Codlingmoths - thank-you.

Frabbits · 30/05/2023 22:59

Codlingmoths · 30/05/2023 22:51

Is it ageist of me to give my 1 year old a bottle but not the older dc? Not every assumption is ageist. Some is just a practical grasp of reality.

Show quote history

I'm sure you think this makes sense... but it doesn't. Sorry.

Making a judgement about a person purely on their age such as about, oh, I dunno, assuming that a young person can't possibly have a job with some degree of responsibility, is a pretty good definition of ageism. Good enough to go in a dictionary, really.

(Ignoring the fact that often the shitty "get that done over the weekend" jobs often get handed down to the junior members of staff as well, so that's another reason why someone might have a bit of work to do on a sunday night. Of course, this is again ignoring my actual point that no fucker on this thread knows why this woman had to leave).

Thepeopleversuswork · 30/05/2023 23:00

Jesus this thread is ridiculous

GwinCoch · 30/05/2023 23:01

Does anyone on this thread have real dilemmas? Asking for a friend…

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