My DP is moving in. Been together for years.
Two bed place and my DC lives here and stays with Father every other weekend.
DP has adult children. A couple of weeks ago he mentioned how DSD was of the idea that when my DC was at dads, she was going to stay in DC's room. Every other weekend. DSD lives with her Mum. My DP said he did not want this to become a habit and he felt he needed her to understand that my teen DC's room was DC's personal space and not a bed sit for DSD. DP felt that DSD needed to understand that this was not a child custody arrangement as she is an adult now. He was concerned she was seeing it as a place to get her head down after nights out and to sleep off a hangover. I was very relieved with this as I had already anticipated this may have arisen and may have been a cause of relationship conflict.
For context, I own the property and am putting a co hab agreement in place with a solicitor.
DP is moving in this weekend. He has now backtracked and said if DSD wants to stay in DC's room every other weekend then he would like that to happen as he doesn't want a fall out. He says we should give it a go and see what happens. He then asked me to discuss ground rules with DSD and tell her she can't come in drunk in the early hours, not to bring people back etc. I don't think it's reasonable for me to even have to 1- set ground rules with an adult who is a guest in my home and 2- specify rules when she is not even my child.
I did say that I thought every other weekend was too much. We need some time together alone. This will put a stop to this. I reminded him what he said about my DC's room being DC's space and not a bed sit. Also, DSD is an adult. This is not a child custody arrangement. He has done a complete 180 on it. I can foresee many problems and a lot of stress.
I feel a bit uneasy now about the whole moving in thing but it's way too late. AIBU?