not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

Calm down, there really isn’t any need to be so spiteful.

Yabvu. You're not entitled to take a 6 seater table just for yourself.

@mainsfed OP would not be 'missing out' they could go on a non BH weekend. I just hate when people use DX on here as an excuse to behave badly, it harms all of us.

You were also rude reserving the table. You get your food then find a table,

These responses are making me laugh because they are so unkind and haven’t changed my view.

Because hogging a whole picnic bench in a packed cafe is oh so kind and considerate.

Why should she go on a non-BH wknd? Honestly, are you listening to yourself?

OP has not behaved badly. She waited 20 minutes for a table, bought her food and drink, and sat down to eat and drink. Her only crime was that she was alone.

I just hate when people use DX on here as an excuse to behave badly, it harms all of us.

I'm with you on that.

You need to give the table number when placing the order

If everyone else is reserving tables than ordering food, why should OP have to behave differently?

You can do what you want.
People will probably ignore it and sit down anyway, unless, as happened this time a table comes free anyway.
The cafe would at some point have to step in and explain to you that tables can't be hogged and need to be shared.

*then

I wouldn't say you were an arse, but in that position I would have been pleased to share with a couple to avoid the risk of a larger, louder group joining me. I wouldn't worry about it though!

I would have hated it but recognise I'd have to suck it up or leave

So you've posted asking were you unreasonable, 99% of people have told you you were but you haven't changed your mind and you'd do the same again. Wow. The only reason the % vote isn't worse is because people will be voting without reading that it was actually a 6 person picnic bench which really changes things.

It's not that you should miss out if you want to sit alone, but a busy cafe on a bank holiday you're either going to need to share a 6 person table or accept its not for you. Or obviously option 3 of keep being rude and have everyone in the cafe knowing how rude you are.

Calm down, there really isn’t any need to be so spiteful.
OP
nothing to calm down about, You are not in a private space that you have hired exclusively for yourself. People need to sit down. You are the problem in this situation , not other people.
i too like my space and don’t always want people around so I plan accordingly.

No, you don’t need to suck it up or leave. Sit at the table you want to.

OP has not behaved badly. She waited 20 minutes for a table, bought her food and drink, and sat down to eat and drink. Her only crime was that she was alone.

Going out to eat alone is absolutely fine but hogging a table for 6 in a packed cafe when you're alone is not ok, social anxiety or not.

That wasn’t made clear at the beginning.

I think that yes, in this circumstance you were unreasonable.
I think that if you were eager to sit alone and there were smaller tables present you should have waited for one of those, otherwise you should have shared.

I see that you say you often put others first and were pleased with yourself for being assertive. I understand that it can be difficult to always gauge this, especially when we are exposed to others who continually make different choices, however here, it wasn't really a case of you backing down and putting others first, rather you wanting what wasn't on offer, ie a private place to sit.
Maybe you thought that as you had waited so could they, but you made the choice to wait rather that accepting the other offer of a seat.

So two people using a bench is fine, the only number of people not acceptable to sit at a bench is 1? Ridiculous.

It depends. Two people at one end, fine, begrudgingly. An extra 5 people sitting around you, then no.

YADBVU. I’d prefer to sit alone too, but no way would I monopolise a table for six bloomin’ people! That’s rude. If those other people hadn’t found a table soon after, I’d guess you’d have been asked to share by the proprietor anyway.

Standing up for yourself is good, especially if you usually don’t, but standing up for yourself doesn’t mean doing whatever you want and being rude. It’s nothing to do with you being alone. If you were a couple on a 6 person table, another couple could ask to sit on the table too. That would be fine too. it’s courtesy and commonsense.

Thank you. Some of the responses on here are crazy. I ate my meal and left within 20 minutes so I’m hardly going to put the cafe out of business as some are suggesting by hogging the table. In fact, as a regular customer my business is just as valuable to them as a group of tourists who may never visit again.

I’d have expected a couple to share a 6 person bench as well if it was busy.