not to share my table at outdoor cafe

[ShirleyEyeRosebud]

Went to my favourite cafe with my lovely dog for a relaxing Sunday morning brunch fry up.
All the tables were occupied, so we stood feeling a bit self-conscious waiting for about 20 minutes for a table to become free. In the meantime, a kind couple did ask if I wanted to share their table, but I didn’t want to disturb their relaxing morning so I said thanks for the offer but it’s ok.
So, eventually a table became free so I left my bag there to reserve it and went inside the cafe with the hound to order. When I was queuing up to order a woman asked if I had finished with my table so I said no I have just arrived. She then said are there many of you (obviously not) or can we share your table?
I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

AIBU?

It's because you were quite inconsiderate.

How did you think the thread would go?

'you go, girl'? That kind of thing?

I think you know its unreasonable, otherwise why on earth have you posted on social media to ask if you were unreasonable.

I said Sorry I have been waiting for a table and I would rather have it to myself.

I would have sat down regardless.

But she doesn't deserve to dictate that several spaces around her be left empty of potential paying customers.
How about demanding that a whole side of a restaurant or cafe should be vacated just for her and her dog? Ridiculous.

Is this a joke? Yes refusing to share a table for 6 when you are alone is completely rude and unreasonable.

Rubbish. I go to restaurants, pubs, theatre, cinema, whole weekends away all on my own quite happily and am mystified by the fear anyone has about doing so.

I still think OP was rude and selfish to insist on taking a table for 6 for herself at such a busy time. Of course my preference would have been not to share at that time, doesn't make it reasonable to insist on that preference.

Unreasonable. I want to be alone so I go to a busy cafe at a busy time, come on OP.

Yeah I dunno OP. I think to be honest yes it is a bit unreasonable to take up a 6 person bench, and if it’s busy it is normal for people to share a bench area. I would have let them sit down personally. But, saying that, I don’t think I would have taken the bench in the first place if there were smaller tables available especially if I didn’t want people to sit with me.

Sunday morning, bank holiday weekend, cafe with lovely food. Of course it will be busy and you were unreasonable.

Its uncomfortable saying no.
But it’s not unreasonable.

It’s for the restaurant to decide their own seating policy, not random customers or randoms on the internet.

If the cafe only has picnic benches, what are single patrons supposed to do?

You don't realise that "excuses" are the effects of the diagnosis? It's great for those who don't have any issues which affect them socially, or if they can grin and bear it, but it's physically uncomfortable for some people and that's valid too. OP wasn't keeping a hospital ward to herself, she politely said she'd rather sit alone in a cafe.

I have autism, dyspraxia and mental health issues thank you. I'm all in favour of exemptions and accomodations when necessary but feeling uncomfortable is just part of life with autism/social anxiety/whatever. There are many aspects of being in public that make me very uncomfortable but I still don't get to act as though it's my own private personal space.

@ShirleyEyeRosebud - are you going to tell us how many people wanted to share?

Sounds like the cafe need to buy a couple more chairs and also take steps to organise and manage their space . Not much effort, just a polite "please take a seat here" or "sorry we're full, please come back later" or "do make your order and we'll find somewhere for you" or something, to avoid people hanging round feeling awkward or leaving feeling uncomfortable as OP did.

Share them?

I would personally have shared if I was sat on a large picnic style bench but I would not have been bothered in any way or offended if someone declined to share. Each to their own. I think some of the comments on here are unnecessarily harsh. I mean if someone said to no to you for sharing would it really ruin your whole day!?! No!

Well then, you have to be prepared for other people around you in a social situation. And if you were that rude, you'd be told to leave and not come back.

Just trying to find a reasonable solution.

I think it depends on the size of the table. I would feel uncomfortable alone sitting directly beside or opposite a stranger. A table for six could fit a party of one and a party of three as you would have space. A table for four would be uncomfortable. If I was not alone I would be happy to sit next to a stranger but preferably not directly opposite.

Exactly

If the cafe only has picnic benches, what are single patrons supposed to do?

Share when necessary. I'd do that in any cafe when necessary but I would especially expect to do so when there are benches not tables.

I didn’t know at the time as she approached me in the queue inside the cafe but there were two of them. They got a table straight after I got mine as it happened.

To be fair the OP, it's one of those threads where people get so ridiculously overheated and outraged over a minor incident that you can't blame them for saying 'I actually think I'm quite a nice person and everything is fine'.

Well then you were very unreasonable.

This is my first AIBU and I am amazed that the vitriol being directed at me.

But you've clearly decided from the start that you were entirely reasonable so why bother asking?

It's all been said but yes you was being unreasonable. Cafes are expensive to run with low profit, of everyone came in on their own and insisted on sitting on their own they would likely struggle.

Pick an unpopular time to go if you want to sit on your own, hot days everyone is out and about also wanting to relax outside in a cafe