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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's a grandparents one. Food.

180 replies

DataNotLore · 29/05/2023 08:58

I'm incredibly lucky to have regular, free childcare from grandparents (my parents).

They also come over quite often at other times.

The problem is that they constantly feed my DS rubbish as "treats".

Cakes, biscuits, sweets endlessly.

They see him two or three times a week so it's building up.

He's six and there's been a letter home saying that he's overweight.

I don't buy this kind've food and I'm getting him more exercise.

My parents think that the letter is wrong and I'm just being precious.

Anybody else dealt with this? Argh!

OP posts:
Whattodo46 · 30/05/2023 23:12

I had this issue several years ago with a wonderful grandparent who provides us with free childcare. I explained the issues for the teeth and also for weight. I don’t want my kids having the same food/weight issues that I have been brought up around. I gave clear guidelines that after school snack should be limited to one thing with any additional snacks offered being fruit. I then said when they go for a weekend visit/sleepover they could basically go wild as that was maybe every month or two so unlikely to do much damage and the kids love it. Thankfully grandparent was very receptive and on the most part follows this, with the odd exception (which is now usually ran past me first).

it is also frustrating as when dc are getting so many treats when you are not there you feel like you can’t give any and that doesn’t feel good either.

pollymere · 30/05/2023 23:47

I'd probably say that it's not cake or biscuits but the amount of processed fat and sugar. Maybe suggest if he's going to have biscuits or cake, that they make them together? Making fairy cakes "for pudding" using polyunsaturated marg and a bit of water icing is an awful lot better than shop bought cakes (because you burn calories making them and they tend to be lower in calories).

I eat sticky toffee pudding yoghurt that's actually fat and sugar free. Get him addicted to light and free chocolate, toffee or millionaires shortbread yoghurts instead...or suggest them to GP.

eastegg · 31/05/2023 10:13

BigMosLittleSister · 29/05/2023 11:29

Surprised at the comments saying just two snacks a week. OP has consistently pointed out it's an afternoon of non-stop junk, and then not eating a proper meal.
The problem is then that he develops a taste for these sugary foods and won't eat as well as he should at home.
I think you need to sit down with them and have a proper chat @DataNotLore You're in a really difficult position here.
Even if he's not that overweight yet, those kinds of foods are for occasional use, not to be lived on, as they are bad for his teeth and health.
If they really won't stop he's going to have to go to alternative care, which would be a shame

Totally agree. And OP said at the outset the junk after school is ‘constant’, not sure why people can’t just believe her rather than jumping to contradict and doubt.

The example list of after school sugary stuff may not be obscene quantities, but it’s definitely way too much sugar and if repeated 2-3 times a week could easily lead to weight gain. Although personally I would be much more worried about teeth.

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 31/05/2023 10:17

Just because they are providing childcare/seeing him does mean they can ignore you as the parent and your wishes. If you don’t want him eating rubbish they need to respect that

Poppy297 · 31/05/2023 11:27

OP you definitely need to find alternative childcare.

I have to wonder - is this the first parenting disagreement you have had with them? They have been shockingly disrespectful of your parenting decisions. You have every right to say you do not want your child filled with junk food! The fact that they can't respect this and have been so irresponsible with your child with seeming impunity makes me question how respectful they are generally about your parenting.

If you let this continue you would be allowing them to damage your childs health and set him up for a lifetime of obesity and health problems.

Their love seems very selfish

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