To want a flashy car to fit in?

[Lustingovercar]

I currently have a small- medium sized EV. Not a premium or anything. Really could do with a longer range EV or go back to ICE. (We no longer fly so holidays are exclusively drive and EV is a bit tricky - current range is 120 miles but on motorway get less than 100) Also have 3 DC and two large dogs so it’s hard to fit in current one.

We live in an area where cars do matter. There’s a lot of premium brands in our area, on school runs etc. I would like to be seen in a big beautiful car (just being honest here because I can on MN!) however I like the fact that my EV is better for the environment. We can afford a big LR Discovery and it would be easier for the kids etc BUT should I really just buy one to fit in?

Lots of mums who lunch/ swishy hair/ large premium SUVs in my area. I work, and drive a small car. I can’t help feeling that I’d fit in a bit more (and, yes, find it easier to make friends) if I had the ‘right’ car.

Please be kind, as I’m just being honest and seeing what people think..

I think in this situation I would buy a new house to get away from such shallow, materialistic people, rather than going for a new car! My car is 15 years old and has paint flaking off the bumper, and I love it. Maybe you should work on your self-esteem.

My area is full of big name cars. Most people drive teslas or range rovers, with a smattering of audis, bmws, mercedes etc. Its rare to see a kia or a peugeot.

This does not mean cars matter, at all. In fact the poshest, most secure old money types around tend to drive mid range, not new cars known for longevity - min 6-7 year year old Japanese workhorse brands, VW, volvos.

All the high earning scaffolders from luton have LR discoveries. Good on them if that's what they like, it doesn't mean cars matter or are judged or noticed by anyone else.

I honestly don’t Think people really care that much what car you drive. Don’t kid yourself that EV are much better for the environment, if your car honestly doesn’t meet your needs then change it, they’re all bad for the environment though!

So many of these aspirational bullshit people are so clichéd it's laughable. I live in a very expensive area, purely through work not choice. I don't come from this area. Almost all the 'mummies' at my DC primary school pick up are like clones, right down to the Land rover discoveries, Q7s, Volvos etc. They're all size 6, don't work because the husband is big in the city yah. Same sweaty betty leggings, same trainers, kids have the same pretentious names blah blah blah. Every aspect of their lives seems to have a competitive edge which is really sad. They don't talk to me which I'm more than fine with, because I'm very different to them. Get some perspective on what is really important in life and its better to have no friends than pointless shit ones. A car won't magically make you have loads of friends overnight. And as many pp have said, anyone who judges you for the car you've got isn't worth knowing.

This.

Oh and i "fit in" with the swishy mums.

I drive an utter banger of a toyota, 15 yrs old.

However, i organise the coffees & playdates. Don't wait for an invitation to materialise.

Thats like that in my area. I drive a rare Rose Quartz ( metallic pink ) convertible BMW and a black R Dynamic Range Rover. All paid for by myself bought new. I love my cars and they fit well in my area. It is what it is.

The wealthiest people I know don't feel the need to try and keep up with The Joneses. They all drive battered old cars and would look down on the wastefulness of squandering money unnecessarily on a new expensive car.

I have a nice car but am much more impressed with people who don't care about material things and happily drive their old reliable vehicle.

Is this a joke? If you’re looking for deep friendships, don’t start hanging around the school gate!

If this was me I would change areas before cars tbh

Swishy cars? Swishy hair! 😂

Oh me too.

Get a bicycle, fuck the big car twats

I think you knew what the answer would be. If you can afford it, fine but the better part of you doesn’t want to be part of that club

Op what do you think is going to happen, do you think you will buy a discovery and they will suddenly be all over you and inviting you places? And how will you feel when it doesn’t happen?

My DH asked me this afternoon who one of the neighbours was. I described her as the one in the large white Range Rover with a very distinctive personalised number plate (which I won’t quote on here for obvious reasons). He, I and our older DD all sniggered. I attempted to pull it back for the benefit of our younger DD by saying we were all being rather sneery and snobby and we really shouldn’t judge people by their cars. It fell on rather deaf ears as they all sniggered some more……

Motto - people judge people who don’t drive obviously flashy cars. And people richer than they are judge people who do drive obviously flashy cars. Result - drive whatever the hell you want to and is practical for you and your family!

Do you really think your life would improve if you're seen in a big car, strange world we live in.

I am in Essex. DH and I drive the shittest, oldest cars. I walk for the school run but whenever we turn up to parties etc. we have the oldest cars. However, I have found friends just not the people who care which car I drive. If people are only interested in the car you drive they are not your friends. You can be friends with people who drive fancy cars; you can be friends with people who drive shit cars. It should not matter what car you drive. You can make friends without driving a fancy car - if that makes your group smaller that’s ok.

Frankly I would move and get away from these shallow worthless pillocks by whom you are surrounded.

Your electric car isn’t any better for the environment.

Who cares what other people drive? If that’s what bothers you then crack on and buy whatever you please.

Alternatively, 3/10 for effort and the use of “swishy” to describe hair.

You want the wrong type of friends.

I’m going to say no just because I judge the people you describe and actively avoid them as I assume they are the kind of person i wouldn’t get along with.

I also assume that all those premium cars you describe are on lease hire and smugly smile to myself that I have a more humble car that we own outright and have no huge monthly car related direct debit coming out. We own both our cars which are valued at around 50k. If you can afford to buy the car you’re describing outright then knock yourself out.

I don’t think that is fair if you have a more empathic understanding of how the OP is feeling. Surely a thread about arguing how a sausage should be cut is more vacuous 😉

Touché! I didn’t say it was the most vacuous 😂

This makes me think of Anne on Motherland with the fancy car for the carpool!