To tell pronoun announcing recruiter I don't want the job

[hursty900]

Had a call with a recruiter today- clearly female name, pic on linked in clearly female & then at start of call she announced 'my pronouns are she/her, may I ask what yours are?'... I mean she was polite, but it just seemed ridiculously performative (I too am clearly female) & has made me question if I want to work for this organisation. I have nothing against trans people etc I just really bristle with all the over the top performative stuff.. Am I just totally out of touch? My current company does not have any kind of stance in this area which I guess is terrible if you are one to name their pronouns..tbh I've got enough shit going on to have to explain my preferred pronouns to everyone I meet!

I’m sitting here trying to decide whether I care if someone mistakenly referred to me as he/him. The thing is - it’s highly unlikely to happen, because despite not being girly or hyper feminine, I am clearly and obviously female. My name is not androgynous. So the probability of someone using the wrong pronouns for me is vanishingly small.

The only example I can think of is if I were a GP (I’m not) and a patient went home and said “I went to the doctor today” and their relative said “Oh, what did he say?” then they would have misgendered me…. except they wouldn’t have misgendered ME, they would in fact have made a sexist assumption.

’They’ as a third person singular is right for situations like this - when you don’t know the sex of the person you are talking about - or if it’s a theoretical or yet to be born person.

Now, if I were intersex or my physical appearance was less clearly female, or indeed if I were transgender, then I can understand it can be helpful to give people a clue. But for the 98% of the population (or whatever it is) that are clearly either male or female - your first guess is going to be right the overwhelming majority of the time.

Everything is transphobic these days. Literally everything. The word has pretty much lost its meaning, you'll have to come up with something better.

I believe Bigot and Fascist are also taken.

Well I didn't 'throw a strop' - I squirmed & then reassessed my interest in the organisation. But yes, if I was asked if I was married at the start of a conversation about a job, I probably would feel equally baffled.

I'd be tempted to say 'Why do you ask? Were you planning on addressing me in the third person?' but I'd probably wimp out.

I (a clearly pregnant female) was asked to put mine on my work email signature. I never bothered and didn't feel it was necessary, noone has ever questioned it. If they do pull me up on it though I'll just say he/him to be awkward. I'll then change it regularly to be annoying.

I understand in that capacity but considering my name, pic on linked in & voice, I think it is pretty clear I'm female.

I have used "I do not follow that practice" (learnt from here) and it's quite good.

The pronouns crap is on the way out, thank goodness. People who used to flaunt it on their Twitter/Instagram are starting to remove it.

😄

I quite like ho/hum...

Hahaha fucking hell. That's hilarious.

So every time you meet a new person you have to set out what your preferred pronouns are? Sorry but that is utterly ridiculous and over the top. Especially considering the proportion of genuinely trans people in this world is tiny. Also being a born female I would feel having to announce and confirm my ‘pro nouns’ to every single new person I meet would erode my identity as a woman. And don’t get me started on ‘cis’ either.

I hate that kind of crap. I wouldn't work for a company that goes along with it.

WTF

I wouldn’t automatically decline the job just because of that, but I’d do my research to see if the company itself is captured by gender ideology bollocks before deciding whether to proceed.

This.

The recruiter could say, "How do you wish to be referred to?" which would allow the person to interpret the question as either, "Do you go by something other than the full name on your application form?" or, "Do you have special pronouns?"

You could then answer, "Just Adele is fine," or, "Yes, I prefer to be called Jo rather than Joanne" or, "I am non binary and my pronouns are they/them, and I like to go by the nickname Bunny".

I work for a large corporate with a Diversity and Inclusion function. The Head of that function puts her pronouns on her email signature, as do a few others in the company.

Personally I role my eyes at them, however I actually think the fact you were asked this at interview stage (however cringeworthy) is probably a good sign for the company.

My company as well as being very LGBTQ friendly, also has very good maternity benefits, a very good menopause policy, and gives us lots of days off to recharge for the sake of our mental health.

😂😂😂

I'd be inclined to say that I go by my name, the one I was given at birth.

That's my take too. OP & org are probs not a good match viewed from either side.

We/Our tell them that you're a sister wife.

Incidentally, I'm not mocking sister wives, I think the principle is great.

The one and only time I was asked this I put "My pronouns correspond with my chromosomes". I never got any feedback which was very interesting.

She doesn’t need to know your pronouns to chat with you. If you were they/them it might make you feel uncomfortable to be asked straight away. They should ask at the end or on email.

Oh dear….what the hell do you do if it’s “Dr.” then ?? Why would you have got it wrong ? Should you be allowed out on your own ?

Exactly, the Germans have it right Er Sie Es, covers everything.