To tell pronoun announcing recruiter I don't want the job

[hursty900]

Had a call with a recruiter today- clearly female name, pic on linked in clearly female & then at start of call she announced 'my pronouns are she/her, may I ask what yours are?'... I mean she was polite, but it just seemed ridiculously performative (I too am clearly female) & has made me question if I want to work for this organisation. I have nothing against trans people etc I just really bristle with all the over the top performative stuff.. Am I just totally out of touch? My current company does not have any kind of stance in this area which I guess is terrible if you are one to name their pronouns..tbh I've got enough shit going on to have to explain my preferred pronouns to everyone I meet!

Everything is fucking transphobic, innit? 🙄

It's also against the Yogyakarta principles to ask. People can offer but you should not ask.

The recruiter asks so they can say "she/he/they would be a great fit" to any employer and get the pronoun as the person would want. Easy.

'She/her/Satan'

Sorry I posted too soon, I do work in HR so would be expected to be aware of something like the Forstater judgement. It would show I do try and keep up with the latest developments but has the advantage of also highlighting that it isn’t an inclusive behaviour to ask that question.

What did you reply? I'm ok with working with people with different beliefs personally.

I also resist being asked my preferred pronouns - I don't know why! I guess maybe it's because I don't especially "prefer" to be called "she", it's just what I've been called since birth due to my genitals I guess. I'd probably PREFER it if no-one bothered with gendered pronouns and there was a "they" equivalent for everyone. So she/her is correct but not really preferred? It also feels weirdly prying. I would never start a conversation with "Hi I'm Susie btw are you trans?" which is what it feels like this is asking.

But even trans people find this question intrusive and uncomfortable. (Or so the comments from ask a manager tell me).

😂

Oh and in practice when asked that (not a work situation) I just went "oh umm what does that mean, I don't mind really" and played a bit dumb. Most people aren't going to have time to give you a full explanation of why people use different pronouns etc.

I regularly receive work emails from someone who has both their pronouns AND Covid vaccination status in their signature.

Me too, it's when people insist I must share their beliefs and engage in its rituals that I have a problem.

If you honestly don’t mind how you’re referred to - just say that. I wish people would ask me straight up if I want to be referred to as a nickname of my full name - I don’t!!

"I don't have any, er, special pronouns. You can refer to me as you see fit."

I bet they are fun at parties

If able, would suggest decline job and tell them why. It sounds like a company that doesn’t have a solid concept of how equality law works. Equivalent of asking a prospective employee ‘what denomination are you?’ assumptive and inappropriate.

But they’re not insisting are they. They’re asking if you want to be referred to as her/him/whatever. What’s wrong with saying you don’t mind or prefer not to say, they’re not forcing you to pick one.

As you well know, there's a whole lot more to it than that. The recruiter could easily have asked if the OP wanted to have pronouns indicated. Or, more comfortably, not mentioned this woke nonsense very contentious subject at all.

They're forcing you participate in a ridiculous charade that someone might identity as something other than he or her.

There’s nothing wrong with it. People just like to outraged by this kind of thing. Much middle class hand wringing over it and bound to get a long thread of moaning on here.

Why do people assume you have preferred pronouns? I literally could not give a shit which pronouns people use for me. Its very presumptive of her to think everyone has preferred pronouns which makes me think it's a company more interested in looking good than doing good.

But not their star sign eh? What are they trying to hide I wonder!

Do you want the job though? Because turning it down just because of this smacks of cutting your nose to spite your face to me, but we're all different.

Me too.
Can't quite fathom the hysteria on here!

Yeah. Whingeing and moaning about supporting an ideology which locks men in prison cells with women and obliterates their sports.