To tell pronoun announcing recruiter I don't want the job

[hursty900]

Had a call with a recruiter today- clearly female name, pic on linked in clearly female & then at start of call she announced 'my pronouns are she/her, may I ask what yours are?'... I mean she was polite, but it just seemed ridiculously performative (I too am clearly female) & has made me question if I want to work for this organisation. I have nothing against trans people etc I just really bristle with all the over the top performative stuff.. Am I just totally out of touch? My current company does not have any kind of stance in this area which I guess is terrible if you are one to name their pronouns..tbh I've got enough shit going on to have to explain my preferred pronouns to everyone I meet!

Recruiters discriminate daily. They just don't crow about it.
It's easy to disregard an application and make up a non protected reason for it.
It's naive to pretend otherwise

People don't have preferred pronouns. The English language does.

It's entirely voluntary to provide information relating to protected characteristics anyway and tbh any recruiter asking me that would get a massive eye roll. Not because I'd be offended but because if I was gay/ trans/ disabled etc I might be concerned about prejudice/ bias in their recruitment process. If I want to declare I'm them/ their I will do, without being prompted.

I was once asked during an interview what my support network was like to help me fulfil unsocial hours. I'd made the mistake of telling them I was a mum to a then 2yo. It's made me really cautious since then.

Oh, and I didn't get the job.

This

This is brilliant. I can’t stand all this wanky pronoun gender fluidity faddy BS.

Well of course, because everything is transphobic, but if you stepped outside of your cult for 5 minutes, you’d see this doesn’t make many people comfortable, it does the reverse.

On what basis?

it would be discrimination to bin the CVs of people who had the PC of gender reassignment. Not everyone who uses preferred pronouns does, most of them are just “allies” or think they are “being kind”.

I do the same, I’m not employing anyone who signals their misogyny.

In what way?

you think it’s ok to include men who say they are women in the category of women. I have not attacked you, but have pointed out that doing this will exclude some actual women. By extension therefore, extrapolated from your own words, you are not concerned about the inclusion of women or discrimination against them. Only of men who say they are women.

If I have got that wrong, perhaps you might be kind enough to explain how it can be that including men who say they are women in facilities for women squares with inclusion for women?

As do I, thank you for proving my point.

"Hi, your name is Samantha, do you prefer Samantha or Sam?"

Do you also call that performative?
I bet not

It's the same. Y'all just transphobic

Well if someone told me they were called Samantha I wouldn’t ask if they preferred Samantha or Sam 🤷‍♀️

I've introduced myself as Samantha, clearly that's my preferred name, I'd think you were rude for asking.

Exactly. I'd call them the name they stated. If they prefer Sam or Sammy or Antha then they will tell you.

I've introduced myself as Samantha, clearly that's my preferred name, I'd think you were rude for asking.

I'd conclude dense rather than rude

What strikes me is how we do not make adjustments for other minorities, much larger minorities. Whether you believe its a choice or a biological thing I was thinking of similar adjustments that we do not make in the workplace which would make the person feel more equal but we decide not to accommodate them. For example not serving meat in a canteen to avoid upsetting vegans, not allowing food be consumed in the workplace during Ramadan, asking everyone to use lifts rather than stairs to make those with mobility problems feel more comfortable, or asking everyone to wear glasses to help those with visual impairments.

I know some of these are exaggerated but it's the same concept. When I think of those with mobility issues and how little society has given a shit, acting like we deserve a medal cos just cos we have provided access without thought of how inconvenient or embarrassing it might be, this pronoun movement strikes me as even more bizarre

I suspect that the recruiter works for a company that requires her to get this pronoun business out of the way at the initial interview. She may very well find it as absurd as you do, but she's not going to lose her job over it. At some point a potential job candidate kicked up a fuss when s/he/it was not properly "pronouned" and so the recruitment firm started adding this pronoun stuff to the script. I don't see the point of getting angry at the recruiter over this. She didn't create this current gender fluid climate. She's just trying to get through the day like everybody else....

Not angry with recruiter.. it just made me reassess my interest in working for the company

It's an instant sign that the company is sexist, sees women as a sexist personality stereotype, isn't going to be great on female employee rights and will sanction you as a bigot if you question any of the above. If you don't take the job, tell them why.

But regardless of what you think about gender and pronouns. I thought recruiters were not supposed to ask questions about protected characteristics to avoid discrimination?

If the headhunter happens to be the gatekeeper for the types of projects or companys I'm looking to work with, then I'd just (inwardly) roll my eyes, tell the recruiter that my pronouns are the same as hers, and then move on. She's just the matchmaker, not the spouse, right?
These days it feels like the people who object to or reject this new normal of announcing one's pronouns have become just as fanatical - if not more so - than the "pronoun" people. Everyone needs to just take it down a notch.

Could you use data protection? Surely that is volunteering information that is not necessary to perform your job.

My concerns are this: Say you are someone who is exploring their sexuality and doesn't feel happy (yet) in declaring ''new' pronouns, but doesn't feel comfortable in claiming their 'birth' pronouns. And yet a recruiter is asking you to declare which you want, when you'd rather have more time.

It's not the same, because everyone has a name, and many people named Samantha prefer to be known as Sam.

Most people do not have special pronouns.