To not let other people feed my FF baby?

[Commentsonpic]

MIL especially is always angling to do it under the guise of being helpful when but not helpful like change a nappy, make a cup of tea or take out rubbish etc.

If I had been able to breastfeed, then it would always be me and I really love doing it.

It reminds me of baby led weaning. My mil had always dreamed of feeding the baby in his high chair but obviously you don’t spoon feed with blw. But do you know what? She also recognised that she was being ridiculous. It’s like having children and assuming they will have children of their own. It’s their lives. If they do have children and you are lucky enough to be involved then you love them and help as the parent wishes, not exercising these rights over how you feed the baby and live your little mil fantasy.

It's fine to not let anyone else feed the baby, like you said if you were breastfeeding no one else would be able to feed baby unless you expressed so someone could give a bottle but that would just be making more work for yourself. I bet she doesn't offer to wash and sterilise the bottles for you does she? I don't get why people are so obsessed with feeding other people's babies. Tell her thanks but you are happy feeding the baby and if she wants to help you then she can wash up, hoover or something else you need doing and she can bond with the baby other ways than feeding

Your baby, your’s and DP’s choice

He's not allowed to feed the baby either

Seems abit mean. You can rest whilst someone feeds baby

Oops i realised I read the OP wrong. YABU to not allow anyone to feed your baby

The vast majority of humans both in the world today and throughout the last thousand years haven’t been fed by their fathers. Why would it be a problem now?

It's a problem if the father doesn't agree if the baby is bottle fed and also wants to feed his own baby.

If you read my post fully, my point was that our very fussy baby hated it when others fed him, in the early days & it caused HIM issues which we could avoid by feeding him ourselves. Why would we cause our newborn unnecessary discomfort & upset for no reason? As soon as he got older & more settled, we were fine with others feeding him - because HE was.

@Commentsonpic
don’t alienate your MiL
you will be GAGGING for her to babysit for you in a couple of years when you want a night out with your pals!

The most fatuous response to anything on Mumsnet

How about "I beat my baby, is that OK?"

Yes, "your babee, your roolz"

Exactly. it is not wise or clever to dismiss any behavior no matter how ridiculous as YBYR.

Personally, I think babies belong in families. (I also think there are many different ways of making a family!) the more people gaze at a baby and coo at a baby and tell a baby she's perfect and wonderful and safe and loved the better.

…OP isn’t preventing anyone doing that? I’ve never fed any of my friends’ babies but I’ve cooed at and cuddled them all.

It's just making a big deal about something that really isn't and weaponising it be try to micromanage the ILs though, isn't it? That is clearly the nub of this complete non-issue

This is your baby so it's your choice. I ebf my ds and I have always pumped so he could take the odd bottle. I'll be honest it is really lovely to be able to feed him in that way and I feel really lucky that it's worked out OK for us but it's extremely demanding and there's been times when I've been unwell or just wanted to have a glass of wine (I know some people drink and feed and its probably fine I just haven't researched it enough) or to go out to get my hair done for a few hours etc and him taking a bottle for my dh was a relief because it meant I got that rest. That being said ff babies feed less often so it might not feel as intense in terms if demand and sleep deprivation so in that case why shouldn't you feed your baby when you want and how you want. It's a baby not a novelty or a doll to pass round. Plus the recommendations for feeding are different now, we used paced bottle feeding and my mum struggled to get her head round it. Ds also point blank refuses to take a bottle for anyone else now. And while it's good I can still feed him, it's stressful in that I can never get him minded and haven't been able to do any kit days as I'd intended and had to extend my mat leave. So positives and negatives to both. I think for now you feed as you see fit and if it is emotional and you see it as a bonding moment for you both then go for it. I would let your dh get involved though- my dh can't do any bedtimes because ds feeds to sleep and will not settle for him now which I know makes him feel left out and means I'm busy with that for hours every evening when I'm maybe already tired and drained from a full day. So I think do it for as long as it works for you, but you sound like a really attentive bonded mummy so someone else doing a bottle won't make a dent in the lovely connection you've built with your wee one.

In 10 years time the advice will all be different. People get so uptight over something so simple. Do you really think your DC will remember who did & who didn’t feed them!

It seems crazy to me not to encourage the Dad to be involved in feeding if the baby is going to be formula fed. Surely it’s beneficial to have a strong bond with both parents and the Mum is going to be doing all the daytime feeds while on maternity leave anyway. The biggest advantage of formula feeding for me was that my husband could share the burden of nighttime feeds allowing much more sleep for me. No one else fed our baby but no one also asked too (most family was far away and baby was pretty refluxy so whoever was feeding tended to get covered in milk vomit - not so appealing to other people)

Exactly, it's just another way to put even more pressure on new mums and peddle the baby led trope.
Advice does change and it will change again. The advice given to today's generation of mothers is not definitive and it does not make them better parents than generations that have gone before. Contrary to lots of posts on here, women older than 40 are not a danger to your baby and their 'old-fashioned' ways will not harm your baby.
I am not a grandmother but I would be mightily pissed off if any DIL either printed off the current guidelines for me to read or 'gently explained' how I am wrong. Both are regularly suggested on MN to bring grandparents in line if they do something outrageous like suggest putting baby down so they get used to sleeping alone or not feeding them hunks of food they could choke on.
In the not to distant future, today's advice will be sneered at by the next generation of parents, who - IMO - will be battling to get their baby into a routine because today's advice will result in an epidemic of mental health problems and broken marriages.

This simply isn't true for many things. We have research for a reason. It does lead to safer care. Your pride doesn't need to take a knock because someone younger than you knows something knew. It's not a bad thing!

new

Contrary to lots of posts on here, women older than 40 are not a danger to your baby and their 'old-fashioned' ways will not harm your baby.

@Katypp But but but aren't they all interfering, judgemental, narcissistic, know-it-all bitches.... Or at least the ones that have sons anyway. The ones with daughters seem to be amazing! 😝

You can do what you want and if that’s only you and DH feeding them then go for it. Next time you want to eat and it’s feeding time then ask her then and if she refuses that was her chance

I couldn't agree more.

I'm a first time mum of a baby myself and couldn't imagine being as uptight or controlling as some of the threads I've seen on here.

"I felt uncomfortable with anyone other than me or my partner giving my LO a bottle. Until they got to about 6 months. "

and so many more comments like this on this thread....

So unhealthy 🤐