To not let other people feed my FF baby?

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MIL especially is always angling to do it under the guise of being helpful when but not helpful like change a nappy, make a cup of tea or take out rubbish etc.

If I had been able to breastfeed, then it would always be me and I really love doing it.

Really??
But I suppose you will have made your point, whatever that might be, and showed her who's boss. But what'the end game here?

Oh I've read it all now, so should "let" the babies own father feed their own baby a bottle!

I wonder how the control freaks will feel if they have DIL's in the future who are so possessive over feeding?

OP, I felt the same and nobody but me or my husband fed our baby until she was about 8 months, when my MIL started being more involved with care and did a few feeds. I think it can be stressful for a baby to have someone strange to them feeding!
I always tried to think about what would make my baby comfortable rather than her being a doll for others to 'have a go' - nobody whips out a tit to breastfeed someone's baby! Plenty of other ways for extended family to bond.

Oh,they will absolutely respect their DIL's views, some have even said so on this thread 😉

And to answer pps about how I'd feel if I was the grandparent... absolutely fine! I would never expect or request to feed someone else's baby. It's not my baby.

Lots of comments here about the baby 'not being a doll/
toy' but lots of mums acting just like children who have a new toy they don't want to share ...

Exactly! I don’t get the obsession with feeding someone else’s baby. It’s like expecting to put them to sleep and sing lullabies. It’s all for the other person not the child. It’s like making them hug you. Unnecessary.

Have you ever had a newborn baby?

I don't know about the person you're quoting, but I've had two. And I loved seeing their grandparents holding them. I have some absolutely beautiful candid photos of my dad and my MIL, both now dead, gazing at the days old grandchild that they're holding with pure and instinctive love and wonder.

I'm so glad I wasn't one of those 'keep off, it's my baby' new mums. Which to be fair, really wasn't a thing back in the 80s when mine were born. I'm also very appreciative that my DD was equally generous with her babies too.

Midwives even advise that you keep the number of people who bottle feed your baby to a minimum- something to do with building bonds with key care givers etc. the same way breast feed babies so with mum.

If your MIL is a pain in the arse and hasn't been considerate over other things I wouldn't be laying her feed baby. Especially if they were comments about you not breastfeeding as she wouldn't have got to do that either so she can jog on.

I 've had three. Why?

I have a 5 month old and agree with pp.

But most of the posts on here are about the mother, not the child. How can it possibly be in the baby's interests to no be fed by its father. Sure, there have been a few half-hearted attempts to justify the controlling behaviour as being 'advice' but it's abundantly clear the driving force behind it is to use the baby as a pawn to control the MIL

I've had 4, none of them have given a crap who feeds them . Same with 3 of my 4 gc, one of them was a bottle refuser so that was a no after looking after her once

My 4th is 9 weeks old and I love when other people are here at feed time and take over!
I've never heard that it's recommended that only mum and dad should feed baby at the start - in hospital the midwives took my baby away both nights to let me sleep and they fed him overnight!

Is it you don’t want anyone feeding baby or just your in laws?

Wait until you have further kids. You'll allow the postman to help out with feeding by then lol 🙄

I absolutely understand where you are coming from. I struggled to breastfeed and had to formula feed due to jaundice. Only my partner and myself ever gave our son a bottle. I still have a huge feeling of guilt for not being able to breastfeed (son is now 10!). Do what feels right for you.

If you’ve never had the option of breastfeeding taken away from you, you can never understand how this feels.

I don’t think so love I feel the same really. I breastfeed my husband and my mum feed my baby but I feel anxious anyone else doing it as she has issues with reflux and I kind of know when she needs a break and to be burped. It is whatever you are comfortable with. Anything that causes me with anxiety with my daughter sets off alarm bells for me and at the end of the day you need to be happy for your baby to be happy.

Anyone, including her DH! But good question, I wonder would she feel the same if her own mother asked to feed the baby!

DDIL - demon daughter in law

Trust your instinct. End of. That's your job as a mother. xx

Never heard of this before and only letting certain people feed to bond etc. We do make such a fuss about things don't we. It was never an issue for me and was glad of the break/free time and anyone could feed them. Not specifically targeting in laws. Pick your battles.

I wouldn't have let anyone other than myself and my partner in the first week. After that I allowed both grandmothers and my stepdaughter (who was 17). I certainly don't think it's a good idea to pass young babies around to all and sundry - they're people after all, not toys, but assuming your MIL isn't a danger in any way, it will be an important thing for her. My daughter breastfed my granddaughter but expressed milk for me to feed her, which I loved doing.