To tell new lad this is my room

[Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy]

I know this is ridiculous but its really pissing me off Iv just started seeing someone new and he's been staying over and everything has been going great except I like to sleep with a fan on, the landing light on and the TV or something on my phone for background noise. he hates the fan and tv/phone being on he wants complete darkness and silence and wants to sleep with the window open. Aibu to tell him it's my room so it's tough 💩 how he likes to sleep.

No sex toy will give you that closeness of a man touching you that sex does

Ante-natal bleeding.

Very high blood pressure.

Kidney disease.

Previous history of premature labour.

Obviously I don't advocate men cheating but I would also understand if I hadn't had sex with them for a year as I would do the same.
Sex is a big part of a relationship otherwise what's the point u might aswell just be mates

Sex is an important part of a relationship but it's not the only important part. A relationship is about more than sex.

In a healthy relationship you acknowledge that life will ebb and flow and there might be some occasions where sex needs to take a back seat. I enjoy a very healthy sex life with my DH but there have been three occasions in our marriage where our sex live was not a priority. There were:

Pregnancy
When my mum died in very sudden tragic circumstances
When DH was ill

Neither of us even considered cheating.

Maybe not but on the other hand it avoids STIs, risking one’s children and cheating on one’s pregnant wife, so swings and roundabouts.

I was blessed to have healthy pregnancies so its not something iv come up against I couldn't imagine not having sex for a year and the strain that would put on a relationship

I'd like to know what condition causes sex in pregnancy to be dangerous for the baby

Sub chorionic hematoma

I couldn't imagine not having sex for a year and the strain that would put on a relationship

It would only put a strain on a relationship if someone was so selfish to believe that wanting sex trumps the health of your unborn baby

This is the most depressing thread I have ever read.

OP, haven’t you ever met any decent human beings? People who like and respect one another, don’t get arrested ever (I haven’t even had a parking ticket and I’m in my 50s) , don’t use each other for sex, aren’t addicted to anything and don’t engage in risky behaviour around their children?

Of all the people I know, one cousin was arrested for TWOCKing as a teenager and a girl in my class got caught shoplifting. That’s it. Normal people don’t get arrested.

It is perfectly normal to go through periods (of years or more) without sex.

I think your abusive background means you accept sex as a substitute for real companionship and connection.

I'm starting to think I haven't and I'm also questioning if I'm a bad person

You're not bad, you've been dealt a shit hand in life, but you're the only person that can turn it around.

I'm trying

Stop lashing out that people that are trying to help you then. Listen to what people are saying and make changes from there.

I'm not lashing out and iv made changes from peoples advice there's not a lot more I can do

I do not think you're a bad person at all.
I think you've had a very difficult upbringing which has skewed your views on relationships, sexual or otherwise.

It's very sad that you think that sex is a substitute for companionship.
It's very sad that you think people cannot do without sex for any length of time.
It's very sad that you sleep with strings of random lads.
It's very sad that you are surprised when we tell you we haven't been arrested and do not drink alcohol when in charge of children.

It's very sad that you have a drug and alcohol problem, but you are sharing weed and vodka with your latest lad - surely your children are more important than this.

You could stop smoking weed and drinking vodka.

...............................and doing a bit of cocaine.....................

I haven't done cocaine or any hard drugs in over a year

I'm weaning of the vodka it's unsafe to just stop I don't want to end up in hospital again

Oh fgs.

So yes, you both drink and he does drugs.

I'm out.

Yes I'm drinking because I'm an alcoholic and it's dangerous for me to stop cold turkey

It’s not unsafe just to stop. Plenty of alcoholics do it, those who “wean themselves off” just carry on drinking.

That is such dangerous advice I was hospitalised with withdrawals last year I could of died. I'm under d&a services which are helping me quit safely

Exactly.