To think we’ve all been brainwashed (beauty standards)

[exproblemsforever]

I was reading a heartwarming thread on Reddit today about supposed imperfections that men actually live on women. Answers ranged from laughter lines, having a bit of a belly, cellulite, stretch marks, big noses - all of it.

it made me think, we are constantly told we (women) are not good enough. That we have to fix any perceived flaws. That unless we do we aren’t worthy of love, etc. We are taught this from a relatively young age (remember Cosmo magazine).

We must be hair free, no lines, no sun damage, lightly tanned (natural of course but don’t get sun damage), big breasts but they must be firm, a juicy bottom but you mustn’t have cellulite or stretch marks, no fat on your tummy….

it’s all BS.

And I’m not saying to accept ourselves because a bunch of men on the internet said so. It just made me realise that we are just us. We don’t have imperfections. We just are what we are. If we / someone wants to change something that’s all well and good. But to be made to feel we HAVE to, that’s just not ok. It’s just a money making exercise.

Argh sorry rant over. I only slept a couple of hours so I apologise if I am incoherent lol.

You are a real person, not an airbrished or digitally altered pictire online. So of course you will have lines, cellulite, saggy bits etc..

I worry that the internet generation have gone is far down a digital rabbit hole they lost touch with their own bodies.

I agree and also I think social media is the root of all evil

We've all been brainwashed/influenced/misled, but beauty standards being an area very low on relative importance.

Ahh yes, I knew I shouldn’t have used the word ‘all’ in the title. Consider it changed to ‘some’. And how rude to suggest those of ‘us’ who have succumbed to the intense messaging we have been receiving since childhood are ‘weak’ @Sirloinwithlove

The current social media beauty ideal is unattainable even by those whose (heavily) filtered photos we are supposed to consider desirable.

I feel very sorry for teens and young women who keep trying to reach the ideal, fail, but then also use heavily filtered photos to pretend they do.

There is so much money to be made in making women feel ‘not good enough’ and all of us are subject to those pressures, even if we think we’re not.

When my daughter was younger she asked me why I put on make up when I was already beautiful. I was honest and told her that societal standards enforced that I was only beautiful with make up on.

It’s damaging to be so focused on what we look like rather than who we are.

I have no answer though! I am as guilty of succumbing to the societal pressures as any other woman.

Cellulite isn’t real, it’s just made up to make us feel bad for having lumpy skin. Even when I was underweight I had cellulite as I have poor circulation and have spent years brushing and pummelling my skin until I saw a doctor saying it’s normal and is just body fat.

It hasn't helped but the idea that we didn't have insane body standards pre social media is wishful thinking.
Twiggy in the 60s?
Heroin chic in the 90s?

There’s been a movement on social media #effyourbeautystandards for a long time now. Accepting yourself for who you are. Celebrating it. Many realised they don’t have to conform and it has spread.

We can be our own people we don’t need to follow a trend or body shape/size etc. currently it’s fillers which lead to tiny eyes and of course big lips, in a year it will be something different. It’s such a shame that some fall down this rabbit hole and fall for the bullshit of being perfect. No one is.

+1

agree, although there was a thread recently in which the op was well and truly castigated for suggesting her 24 year old sister getting botox was sad

I know (of) a man who definitely considers himself a feminist. He once declared "women, you shouldn't worry about X. Men actually don't mind."

No point in pointing out the irony to him, he'd just roll his eyes.

Lots of women have been brain washed considering the surge in cosmetic treatments over the last 20 years

The best thing you can do for yourself is to not give a shit about what men think about your looks.

I think there is an age thing here though.

I certainly did used to put a lot of pressure on myself to look a certain way. Hair extensions, acrylic nails, lashes, tan, impractical and uncomfortable clothing, wouldn't be seen dead with any body hair...the lot.

Now I'm in my 30s I don't exactly care. I do some of the above as and when I want to, but I couldn't give a shit if I forget to shave my armpits or legs.

I can't be arsed with all the maintenance and have better things to spend money on.

Plus there is the realisation that no one looks young forever, and those celebs who went ott with cosmetic surgery put you off!

No I don't agree.
Your wording is very telling, this is another form of internalised misogyny really. There is a considerable portion of women on mumset who like to feel powerful and better than other women. They think by not shaving, not stying their hair, not wearing makeup that they are somehow a higher being.

There have always been beauty standards for as long back as humans have existed. Men have them to.

It is patronising and sexist to suggest women have been brainwashed and you're one of the only enlightened women who can see it.
'Pick me! I'm not like other girls!'

Sure I see make up and fake tan and fashion etc. in magazines if I choose to read them other than that pressure from whom?

The tv and films I watch have people of all different sizes and ages

I don't wear heels, fake anything or makeup/skin care

YABU for having only just realised that society's standards of "beauty" are made up as part of society's oppression of women.

YABVVVU to say but men find us sexually attractive and that's what's important 🙄.

Of course there are beauty standards, humans have always wanted to adorn themselves and look good, beauty and youth are always prized.

Nothing wrong with making the best of yourself. But in order to do that you have to star from a position of love and acceptance.

Call me laid back but I really like aging. I think that if women have looked after themselves well all their lives, health-wise, they actually look at lot better in their 40s and 50s and signs of aging like wrinkles are healthy and normal. I grew up with Cosmo etc too but really couldn't give two shits about all that crap.

Hmmm - ''we are attractive as we are so there's no need to worry'' - is a step in the right direction, but it's still all about how 'attractive' we are. Or are not.

@Sissynova i have spent my entire life worrying I’m not good enough actually, and have done what I can to ‘make the best of myself’ so please don’t make assumptions about me.

Creepy stalking and it’s only page 1. This thread is going to be in the gutter in an hour. I’d be NC if I were @Disco2023 . 👀