To think we’ve all been brainwashed (beauty standards)

[exproblemsforever]

I was reading a heartwarming thread on Reddit today about supposed imperfections that men actually live on women. Answers ranged from laughter lines, having a bit of a belly, cellulite, stretch marks, big noses - all of it.

it made me think, we are constantly told we (women) are not good enough. That we have to fix any perceived flaws. That unless we do we aren’t worthy of love, etc. We are taught this from a relatively young age (remember Cosmo magazine).

We must be hair free, no lines, no sun damage, lightly tanned (natural of course but don’t get sun damage), big breasts but they must be firm, a juicy bottom but you mustn’t have cellulite or stretch marks, no fat on your tummy….

it’s all BS.

And I’m not saying to accept ourselves because a bunch of men on the internet said so. It just made me realise that we are just us. We don’t have imperfections. We just are what we are. If we / someone wants to change something that’s all well and good. But to be made to feel we HAVE to, that’s just not ok. It’s just a money making exercise.

Argh sorry rant over. I only slept a couple of hours so I apologise if I am incoherent lol.

It's only women telling other women this

*Of course there are people who are naturally beautiful. I’ve nothing against them at all but let’s be honest about it. They won in the genetics lottery of life on that front, they aren’t any more “worthy” of a good life than anyone else and they certainly haven’t done anything special like set up a charity or find a cure for cancer.

They’ve won the male gaze contest you could say…

They’ve gained the ability to be constantly objectified.*

So you think beautiful women can't be intelligent or have any worth other than their looks? You sound very sexist. And what if they are lesbian?

“it made me think, we are constantly told we (women) are not good enough. That we have to fix any perceived flaws. That unless we do we aren’t worthy of love, etc. We are taught this from a relatively young age (remember Cosmo magazine).”

^No I don’t agree with this at all. And why would you believe it because you read it in some trashy magazine. The women I know are the total opposite.

What is your problem? You keep popping up on threads acting superior, being rude or intentionally obtuse seemingly for the fun of it.

How is wearing make up comparable to someone who is under pressure being the sole parent because of what appears to be a lazy, selfish husband? And you are laughing about it because you don't like the fact that it's been pointed out you may have been swayed by society to wear make up? Why wear mascara at all if you're so comfortable in your own skin? Why does wearing make up make you feel better even if no one sees it?

No one thinks advertising or propaganda works on them.

The billions spent are just a waste apparently.

Yes and I thought it was condescending, much like the majority of your posts. But I still think searching to post about issues within a relationship for you to laugh at, and to try prove a point about make up, is below the belt.

Yes, I brush my hair. I also wear mascara, and I'm aware I do both of these things because I want to be judged positively by others.

Although tbf I'd still brush my hair because it physically feels more comfortable not to have knots in your hair..

Yup!
When people are wearing makeup knowing no ones going to see them because its either routine or they can bear to see them self without its 110% effective

Its gone from a means of making yourself more attractive to a potential mate to being an emotional crutch.

Only the affected beleive they are unaffected or immune!

So many people are discounting the fun factor involved in dressing up or trying different makeup.

If you don't want to do it and are doing it because of some perceived societal pressure which is making you unhappy then don't.

Husband, mid 50s, made me think. He said that he had been reflecting on what it was that made him think, when he was younger, that girls and women were 'pretty'. Looking back, he said, he felt that he had thought a girl was 'pretty' if she used eye makeup, lipstick, had her hair done nicely, etc. Now he doesn't think that way, he thinks it's patriarchal and objectifying (bless!). I think I had fallen into that trap up to about age 35.

I agree with you 100%. The reality of what we as humans find attractive, sexual, arousing, beautiful, etc., is soooo varied, and spans way beyond the beauty standards prescribed by the media. I mean we can all even just examine the things we find attractive in other people and realise that sometimes we love things in others that are not stereotypically attractive! I agree it is like brainwashing, because even though there is logical evidence in front of us (when we pay attention, we know that people can be attractive to us without being "perfect"), we feel we ourselves must be perfect to be attractive or beautiful.

I had a friend in my early 20s. She didn't think she was 'pretty', and I suppose I went along with her. Recently saw a photo of her, taken at the time. She was drop-dead gorgeous!

Years ago you could tell if someone was "pretty", now you can only tell that they are good at applying makeup

Hubby says he went ape for one girl because she had artificial eyelashes and looked at him in a 'coquettish' way. So there's behaviour as well as war-paint.

Apologies, I didn't read your previous post so just assumed it was a lazy husband when I made my comment.

A lot of my insecurities went when I met dh. He prefers pubic hair, no makeup, likes my hair just brushed, isn't bothered how i'm dressed.
Massive weight off my shoulders having been brought up to never even leave the house without wearing makeup.