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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have left this situation?

202 replies

Hollibobsmadness · 21/05/2023 19:48

I’ve come to see a friend in Aus.

Left my husband behind with the kids for what was supposed to be a really fab girls trip that we’ve been planning for months.

At the last min, my friend told me another woman would be joining too. Totally fine for me, I get on with pretty much everyone.

I arrived and my friend has one single bed and one blow up single mattress (she just moved in) between the three of us. I had to spend the first night literally spooning with a strange woman in a single bed.

My friend (who I’ve come to visit) has met a man and has spend a lot of the trip locked up in her room with him.

The other woman is really hard work. I’m the most easy going person on the planet but I spent 2 hours in a single bed with her, while she showed me every photo on her phone.

After a night of literally no sleep, I’ve booked a hotel and gone there.

I haven’t even seen my friend to tell her as she’s been hidden away with this man (very noisily too, which was funny at first but in the end was quite gross).

All my belongings are in my friend’s room with her and this man.

I’ve come to this hotel in my pyjamas with nothing but my handbag.

I am the least confrontational person ever and so so easy going (even in this situation I’m not that annoyed, just tired).

I’ve booked the hotel for the rest of the trip. I don’t want to share a single bed with a stranger. I am 42 and I earn great money. I can afford a hotel.

I’m not sure what will happen when my friend finally emerges from her room though. She’s going to be offended, I’m sure. And there’s going to be an awkward conversation.

Am I being fussy/princessy? I am just utterly exhausted.

OP posts:
Sierra26 · 23/05/2023 21:32

You have a brill attitude ❤️ thanks for sharing and reminding us that life (and MN) isn’t all about making points and working out who is wrong or who is right

Grrrrdarling · 23/05/2023 21:52

Hollibobsmadness · 21/05/2023 19:48

I’ve come to see a friend in Aus.

Left my husband behind with the kids for what was supposed to be a really fab girls trip that we’ve been planning for months.

At the last min, my friend told me another woman would be joining too. Totally fine for me, I get on with pretty much everyone.

I arrived and my friend has one single bed and one blow up single mattress (she just moved in) between the three of us. I had to spend the first night literally spooning with a strange woman in a single bed.

My friend (who I’ve come to visit) has met a man and has spend a lot of the trip locked up in her room with him.

The other woman is really hard work. I’m the most easy going person on the planet but I spent 2 hours in a single bed with her, while she showed me every photo on her phone.

After a night of literally no sleep, I’ve booked a hotel and gone there.

I haven’t even seen my friend to tell her as she’s been hidden away with this man (very noisily too, which was funny at first but in the end was quite gross).

All my belongings are in my friend’s room with her and this man.

I’ve come to this hotel in my pyjamas with nothing but my handbag.

I am the least confrontational person ever and so so easy going (even in this situation I’m not that annoyed, just tired).

I’ve booked the hotel for the rest of the trip. I don’t want to share a single bed with a stranger. I am 42 and I earn great money. I can afford a hotel.

I’m not sure what will happen when my friend finally emerges from her room though. She’s going to be offended, I’m sure. And there’s going to be an awkward conversation.

Am I being fussy/princessy? I am just utterly exhausted.

Your friend is very rude!
I’d have grabbed my stuff from her room before leaving, sod her & the man she’s boinking instead of spending time with you & her other friend, & left without explanation.
Infact I’d have invited the other friend to the hotel too so neither of you had to wait around for boinking friend & her new man friend to be done!

TurkeyLurkey4 · 23/05/2023 22:01

Your friend’s behaviour is appalling. Hope you can still make the most of the trip now that you’re out there 💐

Gettingbysomehow · 23/05/2023 22:10

What a rude bitch your "friend" is. That would be the end of the friendship for me. I'd get my stuff and organise things to do......on my own.

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 23/05/2023 22:20

We were invited to somebodys cottage, got sitter and went up to find no beds not taken, and men jamming and in the living room all night. We slept in the car and went home the next day.

ThisMama1 · 23/05/2023 22:27

Bloody love your reaction to this, I’m very much the same. Go with the flow, it is what it is kinda thing. If you ever fancy a weekend in sunny Manchester we’d have a bloody blast! Enjoy your holiday

nettie434 · 23/05/2023 23:40

What a brilliant attitude @Hollibobsmadness. What a life tip for a trip staying with friends where there may be additional guests and the sleeping arrangements are sub optimal: 'Make sure you are never too far from a hotel and have enough money to check in there'. Hope you have a brilliant time during the rest of your trip.

NamechangerGamechangerrr · 23/05/2023 23:45

Can you be my friend, OP? You sound like the coolest person ever and I aspire to be like you.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 24/05/2023 00:01

OP you are awesome. You are the kind of person the world needs more of. I hope you have an amazing trip!!

betterthanbitter · 24/05/2023 00:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Emy0306 · 24/05/2023 00:19

You have the resources to have a great time in the hotel and see your friend as and when she has time . You are all laid back and that’s great but your friend has limited respect for you and doesn’t deserve you and your kindness and non confrontation . I don’t find stuff like this remotely funny over age of 25. I think it’s rude and selfish of the friend

starray · 24/05/2023 02:01

You are waay too easy-going Op. Your friend is awfully inconsiderate.

Cariadm · 24/05/2023 02:09

I am soooo sorry that you are in this horrible situation but this is I think one of the most bizarre stories I've read on MN and I cannot for the life of me understand why you would even need to ask who is the one being unreasonable in this situation because it certainly ISN'T YOU?!
It never fails to amaze me how selfish and self absorbed so many people can be especially when 'friends' are involved...that you flew halfway around the world to see her and this is what she does is so off the wall and mean spirited I am running out of words!!
Stop prevaricating and tiptoeing around what is actually a very unpleasant and disappointing situation...get your stuff and leave your 'friend' to her new man as she seems more bothered about keeping him entertained than being with you?
If you don't have anything in common with the 'other woman' or even enjoy being with her that's fine as you didn't expect to have to share your friend (or your bed!) with anyone else on your holiday!
This really is one to write down to experience I think!!! 🤔😱

user1492757084 · 24/05/2023 05:41

Invite your friend, alone, out to breakfast.
Tell her how you'd like to spend a couple of hours every now and again with just her. Collect your gear and refuse to share a bed again with her other friend.
Make plans the night before each day so that you can make realistic plans for yourself and have fun doing things alone, or with girlfriend 2, if you need to.
Enjoy the rest of your trip.
Do some things on your own bucket list.
If the new fellow is nice your friend will probably love your assessment and value the fact that you got to know him.

Zarataralara · 24/05/2023 07:12

I hope you’re enjoying your hol now you’ve got a decent bed to sleep in.

LateAF · 24/05/2023 07:51

Love your attitude OP- what a reminder to enjoy life. Refusing to dwell on something or take offence by it past the point of taking practical steps to fix it. You have swiftly dealt with the situation, while retaining your positivity, friendship and allowing yourself to still have fun on the reminder of your trip. I needed this life lesson today.

SquirrelSoShiny · 24/05/2023 08:16

I like your vibe too OP 😁Enjoy your trip!

GUARDIAN1 · 24/05/2023 17:11

I wouldn't spend one night in a single bed with my best mate, let alone someone I don't know. I'd stay in the hotel, research fun things to do in the area and ask your friend to meet you. Then discuss expectations for the rest of your stay.

FinallyTimeToSleep · 24/05/2023 17:21

AnnieSaxophone · 21/05/2023 19:51

Omg - this is horrendous and funny all at the same time. Sorry OP but you sound bloody fantastic. If I were you, I would bail and go for a trip of a lifetime around Aus and bail out of that friendship!

Totally this! Go and have fun in OZ!

Radiatorvalves · 25/05/2023 08:49

🤣🍾🤣. You’ve made my morning OP. Best thread I’ve read in ages. Enjoy Oz!

mustgetoffmn · 28/05/2023 11:56

OP this is so ridiculous I’m wondering if you’ve made it up or at least exaggerated it. You mention more than once how easy going and accommodating you are, which is a great quality not to be confused with being a push over. You have 99% yanbu (who on earth is the 1%, you?). So hear it. If this situation is true I guess your best bet is get your stuff and go it alone. Good things happen but be careful and safe guard yourself. Take care but recognise this isn’t a forever friendship!

Stewball01 · 03/06/2023 15:44

Really rotten holiday. I hope at least you now enjoy yourself properly. I hope she apologises for her behaviour.

Caroparo52 · 09/07/2023 08:25

I love your story op.
Gather your dignity ( get some sort of outfit to wear first) and arrange to drop by to collect your clothes with a big smile on your face and a bunch of flowers for your friend.
Then go back to your hotel and regroup. Arrange to do nice touristy things and book tickets for theatre, tours, restaurants for you.
Reframe the whole experience as a solo trip but occasionally seeing friend if you want to.
Move on.
Enjoy spending your money.
Keep your own high standards and not be sucked down by
others.
Maintain the higher moral ground by not being angry or upset.
Enjoy yourself.
Yes your friend has let you down. She's got her lovegoggles on. Shame, but don't let it spoil your trip.
Her loss.
You've got this.
Don't be sucked into entertaining the boring minny either

determinedtomakethiswork · 10/07/2023 00:00

This thread is several weeks old!

Original poster
Hollibobsmadness · 10/07/2023 01:57

It is! But it worked out amazingly.

I stayed at the hotel. Had my own space. Had the best time with my friends after I was honest with them. Even the lady who originally drove my crazy became someone I adored (despite the quirkiness) and we really had the best time.

It was a great lesson in assertiveness, knowing my limits but also finding the fun in everything.

OP posts: