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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have left this situation?

202 replies

Hollibobsmadness · 21/05/2023 19:48

I’ve come to see a friend in Aus.

Left my husband behind with the kids for what was supposed to be a really fab girls trip that we’ve been planning for months.

At the last min, my friend told me another woman would be joining too. Totally fine for me, I get on with pretty much everyone.

I arrived and my friend has one single bed and one blow up single mattress (she just moved in) between the three of us. I had to spend the first night literally spooning with a strange woman in a single bed.

My friend (who I’ve come to visit) has met a man and has spend a lot of the trip locked up in her room with him.

The other woman is really hard work. I’m the most easy going person on the planet but I spent 2 hours in a single bed with her, while she showed me every photo on her phone.

After a night of literally no sleep, I’ve booked a hotel and gone there.

I haven’t even seen my friend to tell her as she’s been hidden away with this man (very noisily too, which was funny at first but in the end was quite gross).

All my belongings are in my friend’s room with her and this man.

I’ve come to this hotel in my pyjamas with nothing but my handbag.

I am the least confrontational person ever and so so easy going (even in this situation I’m not that annoyed, just tired).

I’ve booked the hotel for the rest of the trip. I don’t want to share a single bed with a stranger. I am 42 and I earn great money. I can afford a hotel.

I’m not sure what will happen when my friend finally emerges from her room though. She’s going to be offended, I’m sure. And there’s going to be an awkward conversation.

Am I being fussy/princessy? I am just utterly exhausted.

OP posts:
user1497782758 · 21/05/2023 21:57

This reply has been deleted

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IWasFunBeforeMum · 21/05/2023 21:59

Never mind booking a hotel I'd have booked a flight home!

Middlenamespot · 21/05/2023 21:59

IWasFunBeforeMum · 21/05/2023 21:59

Never mind booking a hotel I'd have booked a flight home!

Ah stop, that would be no craic 😂😂 ffs

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/05/2023 22:02

So are your Australian friend and her new boyfriend having to share the single blowup bed?

I know there is a funny element to this, but honestly I'd be very upset. That trip must've cost you a fortune. The whole point of you being there is to spend time with your friend, not with other randomers.

sadlittlelifejane · 21/05/2023 22:05

Hollibobsmadness · 21/05/2023 21:53

Probably a bit of both. I’m very much just an optimist and as long as no one was intentionally vindictive and no one was hurt in any way, I still feel fortunate to be here, fortunate to have what the PP called ‘fuck it money’ and no incentive that I can see, for being angry (either inwardly or outwardly), when I can just make the best of it.

Show quote history

Definitely a better woman than I!

Thepeopleversuswork · 21/05/2023 22:08

Probably a bit of both. I’m very much just an optimist and as long as no one was intentionally vindictive and no one was hurt in any way, I still feel fortunate to be here, fortunate to have what the PP called ‘fuck it money’ and no incentive that I can see, for being angry (either inwardly or outwardly), when I can just make the best of it.

OP I can recognise a bit of myself in your posts. I'm also pretty chilled and happy go lucky and like an adventure and often my good nature stands in the way of realising people are taking me for a ride.

But honestly with this outlook in this situation you are inviting people to take the piss. Her behaviour is absolutely outrageous and if you don't draw a line in the sand over this you are sending a signal that you have no self respect at all. I wouldn't do this to a casual acquaintance, let alone an old friend who had flown from the other side of the world.

Grow a pair, please, or this woman (and other people) will walk all over you.

Lizzy1328 · 21/05/2023 22:18

Hollibobsmadness · 21/05/2023 19:48

I’ve come to see a friend in Aus.

Left my husband behind with the kids for what was supposed to be a really fab girls trip that we’ve been planning for months.

At the last min, my friend told me another woman would be joining too. Totally fine for me, I get on with pretty much everyone.

I arrived and my friend has one single bed and one blow up single mattress (she just moved in) between the three of us. I had to spend the first night literally spooning with a strange woman in a single bed.

My friend (who I’ve come to visit) has met a man and has spend a lot of the trip locked up in her room with him.

The other woman is really hard work. I’m the most easy going person on the planet but I spent 2 hours in a single bed with her, while she showed me every photo on her phone.

After a night of literally no sleep, I’ve booked a hotel and gone there.

I haven’t even seen my friend to tell her as she’s been hidden away with this man (very noisily too, which was funny at first but in the end was quite gross).

All my belongings are in my friend’s room with her and this man.

I’ve come to this hotel in my pyjamas with nothing but my handbag.

I am the least confrontational person ever and so so easy going (even in this situation I’m not that annoyed, just tired).

I’ve booked the hotel for the rest of the trip. I don’t want to share a single bed with a stranger. I am 42 and I earn great money. I can afford a hotel.

I’m not sure what will happen when my friend finally emerges from her room though. She’s going to be offended, I’m sure. And there’s going to be an awkward conversation.

Am I being fussy/princessy? I am just utterly exhausted.

Why didn't you knock on her door and ask for your stuff.....who in their right mind 'spoons' a stranger!!!!! 😆

AMuser · 21/05/2023 22:28

I want to know more about Photo Woman! Who IS she??? Where did she cone from?

Yeah I get you don’t want to be a dick but as cool as it would be to be as super-cool as @RosettaTheGardenFairy - I think sometimes people need to be called on dick moves. And ALL of this falls into high dick-move territory. I mean jesus as air bed at all never mind with a stranger 🤢

ThereIbledit · 21/05/2023 22:32

I too think you should call her out on her dick moves. She's been very rude to you, and whilst I'm glad you're not offended and not going to fall out with her over it, she has been a douche to you and maybe she needs telling "Oi WTF do you think you're doing you daft cow i've come half way round the world to see you and you've shoved me on a single bed with a stranger while you've been shagging noisily. Can you please give your head a wobble and we enjoy the rest of the week?"

HaveSomeIntrospect · 21/05/2023 22:35

Did you get your stuff?

Greengold123 · 21/05/2023 22:45

OP you sound amazing. Of course YANBU to book into a hotel.

Your friend sounds rather scatty and I'm guessing this is not super out of character for her.

Stay in your hotel, meet them for drinks and activities and have fun! Just don't rely on that friend in future.

EvilElsa · 21/05/2023 22:49

I'm actually envious about your level of not giving a fuck -I was more relaxed about shit like this when I was 20, now the horror I'd have at the single shared bed alone would be off the charts. I shared a single bed with DH when we first got together at 17 and it was shit then...and I loved him! Fuck doing that at 40, I'm impressed you lasted a night and that you are being so kind about it.
I do think your mate has been really thoughtless and a twat but I get why you don't want to fall out over it. I just can't imagine ever treating a friend like she has, and I don't think I'd be so keen to fork out thousands to fly across the world to visit again.

CovertImage · 21/05/2023 22:51

DreamingOfRest · 21/05/2023 21:43

I really can't decide if OP is being way too passive or just really zen and chill!

Does the friend have previous form for being inconsiderate?

Desperate to appear cool I think

Middlenamespot · 21/05/2023 22:52

CovertImage · 21/05/2023 22:51

Desperate to appear cool I think

Show quote history

Nah some people just are genuinely that chill, you should give it a try it’s awesome ☺️🥰

DumboLives · 21/05/2023 22:58

She is just genuinely chill and cool but has a line and once crossed it leads to heading to a hotel in PJ's.

Just get your suitcase OP - just knock on the door, say excuse me and grab it and leave them to it.

Congratulations to your mate who has pulled big time...😀

DreamingOfRest · 21/05/2023 22:58

I'd love to be able to be that chill, I don't think I could though, because I think I'd be hurt. Unless the friendship wasn't that deep anyway, maybe. Don't you feel at all hurt, OP?

nonheme · 21/05/2023 23:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Hollibobsmadness · 21/05/2023 23:10

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/05/2023 22:02

So are your Australian friend and her new boyfriend having to share the single blowup bed?

I know there is a funny element to this, but honestly I'd be very upset. That trip must've cost you a fortune. The whole point of you being there is to spend time with your friend, not with other randomers.

Yep, they were giving that poor blow up bed a run for its money.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hollibobsmadness · 21/05/2023 23:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

My bags weren’t neatly packed so it wasn’t a case of just grabbing them and going. At that point, all I could think about was getting to a comfy bed.

OP posts:
CabbagePatchDole · 21/05/2023 23:11

Hollibobsmadness · 21/05/2023 20:07

No no! She met him in a bar on my first night here. He’s also from the U.K. actually so just here on holiday.

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What??!!! She’s only just met this guy and she’s ditched you for him?!! What a cow.

nonheme · 21/05/2023 23:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
Hollibobsmadness · 21/05/2023 23:15

DreamingOfRest · 21/05/2023 22:58

I'd love to be able to be that chill, I don't think I could though, because I think I'd be hurt. Unless the friendship wasn't that deep anyway, maybe. Don't you feel at all hurt, OP?

I don’t feel hurt, as such. I am definitely looking I at my friend in a different light.

For those saying I was too chilled out, etc. It was early hours of the morning and there were two strangers (photo lady and new beau) who would’ve had to hear me make a scene. There was absolutely nothing to be gained at that point.

I gathered my stuff up, left and told them I’d be in touch when I’d caught up on some sleep. There was definitely awkwardness in the air. My friend was very apologetic and looked very worried. It just wasn’t the time for a conversation though.

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 21/05/2023 23:19

You’ve done the right thing

Now keep on being chill - you are totally up for a holiday but you aren’t Blow Up Mattress girl. Hopefully everyone will be fine with that, if not you can crack on on your Tod.

I would personally leave the heart to heart with your mate till you get home, if she’s a close friend you need to call her on it, but no point ruining everyone’s holiday.

(it sounds like she’s also from the UK, is that right?)

Quia · 21/05/2023 23:21

I gathered my stuff up, left and told them I’d be in touch when I’d caught up on some sleep. There was definitely awkwardness in the air. My friend was very apologetic and looked very worried. It just wasn’t the time for a conversation though.

I'm confused. I thought she was locked in her room and busy shagging?

Frankly, I'd have gone out and booked that hotel as soon as I became aware I was being expected to share a single bed with a stranger.

Moveoverdarlin · 21/05/2023 23:23

I feel for you OP, and you’ve done the right thing, I’d stay in the hotel for the remainder of your trip and treat yourself. However this story is fucking hilarious. It’s like something from Muriel’s Wedding. I’m howling with laughter and it sounds like you’ve got a fantastic attitude. Catch up on some sleep and enjoy the rest of your travels with your friend, the randomer and the bloke. Don’t let your friend off too lightly though, who in their right mind invites a friend from the UK to Australia and makes her share a single bed with someone she doesn’t know while she shags a bloke she also doesn’t know. This is the sort of shenanigans most of us get up to at 20, so I’m quite jealous you’ve got all this going on at 42. Enjoy the sleep and the rest of the trip. Have fun.

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