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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset by this

279 replies

shortandpaleandoldandugly · 21/05/2023 17:24

Long awaited holiday following what has been, one way or another, a tough year. We are not going abroad but in this country to a place some distance from our home (about an 8 hour drive). The location is about 2 hours from when my in laws live.

Having asked DH for the details, which he has stupidly given them, they have decided to join us for part of the week.
DH thinks I'm unreasonable as they live so far away from us we don't see them often but I am upset that our one, short holiday this year will now become a family reunion and not the kicking back, fun week I'd hoped for. We did see the in laws around 4 months ago and they did plan to visit us this year but now won't because they can see us on our holiday instead!
AIBU for being upset?

OP posts:
Loops82 · 23/05/2023 20:29

But late to rhe party but if I were you, I'd make a 'plan'* for every day of the time you're there. Something really energetic, like a 6 hour walk up and down hills, or surfing, or climbing. Every day!

You're far too busy exploring and making memories to sit and play host but they're welcome to join you for one glass of wine at bedtime (of course you'll all be going to bed early as you have another action packed day planned the next day).

In reality, you could be lounging around in your jamas, playing board games, or eating an oce cream at the fair, but the ILs won't know that 😉

*full disclosure - the plan is pretend!

mustgetoffmn · 28/05/2023 11:29

Poppinjay · 21/05/2023 19:14

Your DH needs to tell them it isn't an option for them to stay in your holiday accommodation after all. Then he needs to find somewhere mid-way between their home and your holiday accommodation and book lunch for you all for one of the days.

You have then compromised by giving up a chunk of one day to meet them, the children are better off, your PILs get to see their DS and DGC and you all get a decent ,meal out.

I would conceded that much and absolutely nothing further.

From what OP says this is more than they want. There’s such a thing as completely stopping. Any effort interrupts this and can affect the proper relaxation. I’m absolutely with OP no arrangement outside immediate family.

mustgetoffmn · 28/05/2023 11:33

Loops82 · 23/05/2023 20:29

But late to rhe party but if I were you, I'd make a 'plan'* for every day of the time you're there. Something really energetic, like a 6 hour walk up and down hills, or surfing, or climbing. Every day!

You're far too busy exploring and making memories to sit and play host but they're welcome to join you for one glass of wine at bedtime (of course you'll all be going to bed early as you have another action packed day planned the next day).

In reality, you could be lounging around in your jamas, playing board games, or eating an oce cream at the fair, but the ILs won't know that 😉

*full disclosure - the plan is pretend!

Join for one glass of wine at bedtime??!!. The answer is no. Just no. Issued by DH to his D parents.

2chocolateoranges · 28/05/2023 19:49

sandyhappypeople · 21/05/2023 21:31

What a mountain out of molehill. To all those people saying they’d rather cancel than have a conversation with someone to de-invite them after they invited themselves.

“Sorry PIL, there’s been some confusion, the holiday is just for the 4 (4?) of us, we’d love to meet up another time when it’s convenient for all of us though”

grow.. a.. fucking.. spine.. woman!!

Show quote history

Totally agree, take charge and tell them that the holiday is for the 4 of you only.

do not give up your precious family holiday

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