DH has RAN AWAY in foreign country.

[Greekrunaway23]

Away with our DC’s, I appreciate the need for downtime but every night I’ve sat alone in silence whilst he watches films.

Tonight i broached this and said I just felt really flat and lonely after 12 days of this, still 2 to go. He said that it’s proven that men don’t need ‘chat and drama’ hence they can happily live alone for years.

I got quite tearful and said I really wasn’t starting an argument, I just wanted to chat of an evening. He kept on repeating that I can speak to him whenever I like, and I explained it would be nice to feel as if I wasn’t disturbing him and him to initiate conversation.

Then he ran away, it’s 12.32am here he’s gone. It’s really rough weather here tonight too and I’m scared. He hasn’t got a key as the fob for the electric is welded onto the key so I have no idea what to do.

aibu to phone the Greek police?

You sound very down trodden OP. Like someone who doesnt even have a clue they are being abused! He sounds VILE, he is clearly toxic, an abuser.
You need to get yourself to therapy when you get back home, work on your selfesteem and hopefully one day you will leave this prick.

Well if he's the same at home then that's a sign!! I dont think they are compatible. He's not going to suddenly morph into very outgoing if he's always been like that.

There you go with the stupidity again @Meixo the op hasn't said ANYTHING about wanting her DH to be very outgoing has she? She wanted a chat on one night.

If you're still checking in, OP, last night's alarm is over with and he's ok, which was a main concern.

There seems uncertainty around his phone availability - then later on you mentioned he'd rejected the call which suggests he has availability? Something didn't add up there.

Leaving a pregnant woman alone with the kids at night in a strange country supposedly uncontactable / refusing contact is unreasonable.

But obviously something's wrong.

Different requirements in terms of how much interaction / peace and quiet is needed - these have to be sorted and set for both in a civilised way.

The behaviour you describe has been flagged by so many posters with experience of partners having affairs.

Running away / shutting down can be a sign of something else wrong - health worries, money problems, substance abuse etc.

Two children and another on the way can just be overwhelming and batteries need to recharge. Sharpen the saw.

Need for peace and quiet, solo time, parallel play, lack of need for interaction etc have also been flagged as possibly ND characteristics.

Or it can simply mean an unpleasant cold controlling personality in play.

Whatever it is - it can't go on.

Renember the three children utterly dependent on you both as a partnership.

Hope you have a safe journey home and make a game plan for the way forward.

Find out what's wrong and plan accordingly.

Set out your boundaries and needs (and listen to his, too).

Because he's the boss of the ops emotions?

Whos the stupid one?! You haven't read her responses because OP said he will chat if she instigates the conversation. She's sick of having to instigate the conversations in the evening then it got into a big argument. If he's always been like that he's suddenly not going to morph into a different person who instigates lots of chats in the evening.

I'd be interested to know the time is it after dinner , evening activities. If he's doing this in the day as well then it's a huge issue. If its what I suspect he's not going to ever chage and they are incompatible.

Updates on this? Has he returned?

The OP updated last night. He returned but was arsey with her and they haven't spoken since.

See, this response makes me think that your not stupid, you are just an arsehole who gets their kicks out of upsetting people. Compared to your post where you called the OP suffocating and controlling, you sound quite reasonable here. So yeah, as I thought, not stupid, just a very unhappy person getting their kicks. I wish you peace and happiness.

I concede because yes I would feel upset if I've was being hassled constantly for something I cannot change. I would want to runaway to get space. I want OP to say whether he's always been this way or not. If its a recent thing he's a controlling arsehole probably affair. If its his default he's not going to change either way they are fundamentally incompatible.

I'm married to someone who also likes parallel play being alone together. If he suddenly said you don't initiate enough conversation in the evenings and demanding things change. It would be over because I've been this way since childhood so its just a part of who I am.

Does sayingthat men don’t need ‘chat and drama’ hence they can happily live alone for years. sound like a man who is happy to chat? He said op could talk to him, which is not the same thing at all. Chat isn't drama. Ignoring your partner however may lead to drama. A natural consequence of being an arse while on holiday with your partner.

He's also wrong about men and chatting too. He is talking about a certain type of man to justify his own ignorance. My husband would be very upset about having no one to talk to. Liking to talk is one of the many reasons that I married him.

Absolutely this.

Because he's a grown man with no known issues who simply went out 2 hours ago? What would that have to do with the police?

Why are you quoting me and not reading the follow up posts on a thread from yesterday?

I was clearly responding directly to your very silly post, that's why.

You told a woman to contact the police, in a foreign country, because her husband had gone for a walk, 2 hours earlier. None of the subsequent posts changed how silly your post was, in any way.

If hes always been like that and has other traits. From someone who engages in this behaviour We are interacting with you even without words, we feel comfort and loved from just being in their presence. Their doesn't need to be words. Just being near them is lovely. It's an ND love language actually.

Many posters recommended police not just me, love. For very valid reasons. So no need to respond to me directly! :)

Your little response is silly. Read a thread fully before filling up peoples notifications with nonsense. Take care 🤗

I agree with this because I also like my own space especially at the end of the day. I read each post the op had written though so could empathise with her. She also said this is what he was like at home but she could busy herself so didn't feel it as much. This man ran off, shouting and waving his arms to upset the op and make her worry because she asked if they could chat. That is not normal or decent behaviour in any way, shape or form. I was just wondering what your motive was to then come on her thread and call her 'controlling and suffocating' when that wasn't the case at all. The OP has dealt with things fantastically. If my DH pulled a stunt like that it would be the last time he did, I would never give him the opportunity to do so again. Hopefully she now sees her worth.

I believe I can respond to anyone I choose, and the fact that others also stupidly suggested wasting police time doesn't make your suggestion any less stupid.

There were no valid reasons. To be clear, you can';t call the cops when your husband goes for a walk.

Aw bless. Your opinion isn't worth more than anyone elses on here, I'm afraid. You can minimise the situation however you want - many people still disagree with you. Take care 🤗

Wow this thread is basically just people bitching st each other now. Helpful to the OP, I'm sure...

The OP left the thread many hours ago. Try not to contribute to the unhelpful posts.

It's worth as much as yours, more given that mine makes sense. One does not call the police when a grown man goes for a walk, how do you need this explaining to you?

But stop thread policing. ITs not your job to tell others what to post or when or who they can quote, or why. Just mind your own business. Scroll past if you don't like it.

no

perhaps he’s exhausted, under massive pressure at work and has a whiny shrew as a wife.

perhaps he just wanted a few hours on his on and to be left alone

Op sounds like a neurotic.

try switching the genders and see what conclusions you come to.

@pillsthrillsandbellyache

Where does it say he was shouting and waving his arms?

OP specifically said there were no raised voices. He ran away 'saying' leave me alone, not shouting it.