11 month old in restaurant

[Anoushkaka]

So I know things have changed with parenting since I had my own children, youngest is now 11 but do some parents literally just let their kids to what they want?

Went for a meal yesterday with DH and our children. A couple come in with their baby and get seated near us. Highchair is brought over and they put him in but don't strap him in because he doesnt like to be strapped in, mother said this to waitress. They order food and literally plonk a bowl of mash, veg and gravy on the highchair for baby to eat. He puts his hands straight in and starts feeding himself with his hands, food is going everywhere, patents are looking at him and saying "what a great boy he is".

Baby literally has food everywhere, parents make a half hearted attempt to clean baby which results in an almighty tantrum and him nearly falling out of the highchair because he wasn't strapped in. Dessert comes and the same thing with a bowl of ice cream, its everywhere. They then give him a sippy cup that spills all over him because obviously its not one for his age group.

He screams to get out of highchair, father takes him out and let's him bang cutlery on the table, pull soil from a nearby plant pot and again spill water everywhere. All the parents kept saying to staff was ,"oh sorry, he is just so independent and clever for his age".

I was appalled to be honest. I spoke to my friend who is a childminder and stressed that yes unfortunately a lot of parents are now like this.

[Nanny0gg]

@MuffinToSeeHere

You've never heard of baby led weaning?

Babies make a mess and he's just as entitled to be there as you were.

He was going to pay the bill was he?

Was the OP going to make as much mess for the staff to clear up?

No-one is 'entitled' to be anywhere. I took my DC and DGC out all the time. Any mess was for us to clear up as best we could and any noise or disruption they were taken out.

[MargotBamborough]

@Jumbojem

This sounds like classic rose tinted glasses "never happened in my day, parenting these days is atrocious". My youngest is 14, wouldn't have been unusual even back then. Can't believe OP felt the need to come home and make a post about this!

I have a baby and a toddler and I agree with the OP!

[TheyAreMyBhunasPete]

@MargotBamborough

YANBU, OP.

I have a two year old and a 4 month old and we might risk going to a restaurant now because the two year old eats pretty nicely and the 4 month old is pretty chill, bur we basically didn't eat out with my son from when he started weaning until he was old enough to manage pretty well. Can't imagine anything worse than being in a restaurant during the gunge throwing stage.

People who think you're being unreasonable for not wanting your nice meal in a restaurant to have a feeding time at the zoo vibe are probably the same ones letting their kids do this.

You martyr yourself if you want but everyone else with babies shouldn't

[Hugasauras]

My 11mo DD2 often comes to restaurants with us. I don't spoon feed her, never have, so she just has something from kids menu that she eats with her hands. She gets messy, sometimes the floor gets messy too, but I wipe her over at the end, get down on my hands and knees and clear up the floor, wipe down the high chair etc. A lot of the time staff rush over and tell me not to! I don't really want to spoon feed her while trying to eat my own dinner too, it's a pain in the arse.

[letthemalldoone]

@Q2C4

And if your child won't eat from a spoon, then what?

You teach them to???!!

I couldn't cope with the mess - I spoonfed them well after they could do it themselves because throwing food around gave me palpitations lol! And guess what, in their 20s they can all eat just fine, fancy that....

Total lack of consideration for others.

[VivaVivaa]

@Greeneyegirl

I have a baby and I'm weaning them soon and this is why I'm not doing baby led weaning. Food every where, masses of waste and no idea how much is going into the baby. Yep, I'm a bad mother doing purees. So shoot me.

Yea, I thought I’d do purées too until DS screamed and clamped his mouth shut when a spoon was within 5 metres, but would happily eat a carrot baton or a slice of watermelon left to his own devices…

[Reugny]

@TheyAreMyBhunasPete

You've got to be kidding? A bit of gravy is not going to kill a small child? 😂

This is NHS advice

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/weaning-and-feeding/foods-to-avoid-giving-babies-and-young-children/#:~:text=Babies%20should%20not%20eat%20much,same%20food%20to%20your%20baby.

Foods to avoid giving babies and young children

Salt
Babies should not eat much salt, as it's not good for their kidneys.

Do not add salt to your baby's food or cooking water, and do not use stock cubes or gravy, as they're often high in salt.

Remember this when you're cooking for the family if you plan to give the same food to your baby.




In the late 90s a toddler died from the parents giving him a diet that was too high in salt the foods they gave him included gravy,

[LittleBearPad]

@Reugny

They order food and literally plonk a bowl of mash, veg and gravy on the highchair for baby to eat.

I doubt this is a true experience as you don't feed an 11 month old gravy especially restaurant gravy.

This is because food with high salt levels can kill small children.

A portion of gravy isn’t going to kill a child!

OP some people are twats. This doesn’t change when they have children.

[letthemalldoone]

@Q2C4

@Vintagejazzing my DD doesn't spread food everywhere. She just doesn't use a spoon. Many BLW-fed children don't. It can be better for the child if they get to experience the textures of actual food by eating with their hands rather than have everything mushy and be fed from a spoon.

How?

[Chickenkeev]

Tbf this was just one snapshot of those people's lives, we can't assume the child has some dreadful high salt diet.

[Vintagejazzing]

@TakeMeDancingNakedInTheRain

Spoon feeding is outdated, baby led weaning and putting food directly on their feeding tray is the thing. At 11 months old they still don't actually eat much it's still just about tasting and learning. I think as you say you have an 11 year old you have forgotten how hard it is with small kids. We went out a few weeks ago for a meal for my husband's birthday, it was a nice pub that kind of fancies itself but still a family place. We intentionally booked a 4pm early tea as we knew the kids would flag. Out youngest is 2 and had hit the wall he was a nightmare. The people seated near us did nothing but tut and give us dirty looks, we have children but we also wanted to eat out, our 7 and 5 year old are obviously perfectly behaved but a 2 year old hasn't mastered sitting still and quietly.

I think you've repressed what having a baby is like, I mean unless you had a super human baby who bypassed the entire infant stage?

'but we wanted to eat out'

Oh well as long as you got what you wanted never mind the other customers having to listen to your 2 year old screaming and tantrumming...

[MargotBamborough]

@TheyAreMyBhunasPete

You martyr yourself if you want but everyone else with babies shouldn't

Who said I'm martyring myself? I think we avoided eating out with the baby for about 6 months, until we thought he could handle it. And then we started with things like a pub garden lunch with the grandparents so there were plenty of adults there to engage with him and take him off for a walk if he got bored of sitting in the high chair.

We also went to restaurants during that 6 month period without the baby. Two Michelin starred ones, in fact, on each of our birthdays.

My son has just turned two and I would be reasonably confident taking him to a restaurant now, but if either of our kids had an unexpected meltdown we would take them outside to avoid annoying the other customers.

I worked in restaurants for years. There are people who parent their children properly and people who don't, and I am determined to be in the former category. I can't stand the entitled behaviour you see from so many parents and their little darlings these days.

And no, throwing gravy and removing soil from pot plants are not early signs of genius.

[TheyAreMyBhunasPete]

@Reugny

This is NHS advice

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/weaning-and-feeding/foods-to-avoid-giving-babies-and-young-children/#:~:text=Babies%20should%20not%20eat%20much,same%20food%20to%20your%20baby.

Foods to avoid giving babies and young children

Salt
Babies should not eat much salt, as it's not good for their kidneys.

Do not add salt to your baby's food or cooking water, and do not use stock cubes or gravy, as they're often high in salt.

Remember this when you're cooking for the family if you plan to give the same food to your baby.




In the late 90s a toddler died from the parents giving him a diet that was too high in salt the foods they gave him included gravy,

Yes. Don't give them too much salt because it's unnecessary and can harm their kidneys if they ate too much. It won't kill them though if they ate a bit once every now and then in a restaurant meal. Utterly ridiculous.

[Reugny]

@Anoushkaka

It was gravy. Asked for a baby bowl, veg, mash and gravy..

Stupid parents.

[LittleBearPad]

@letthemalldoone

How?

It’s not better, it’s not worse. BLW isn’t going to make a blind bit of difference to how your child eats.

It is messier though.

[Appleass]

@MontyPyth0n

Mind your own business maybe?

says this type of parent !

[Emotionalsupportviper]

@HopesMama32

It's called baby led weaning....

Parents still need to guide them - and at least offer a spoon and encourage the baby to use it. Yes - food will end up up noses and in ears and hair and in every crease known to man, but using implements should be encouraged.

"Baby led weaning" isn't giving baby carte blanche to throw food all over and disturb other diners - it means offering baby a variety of suitable finger foods and allowing him/her to choose which to eat. That way baby will be keen to explore tastes and textures.

Mashed potato is NOT a finger food. Nor is ice cream. Some things need a spoon, and even if all you do is give your baby one to wave about while you fill another and feed him, s/he needs to learn to eat properly. In most cases babies will happily take a full spoon from you and pop it into their mouth while you fill the next one to give him/her.

The other vegetables on the plate may have been appropriate for the baby to eat himself - who knows. But certainly mashed potato and gravy isn't appropriate. The texture is such that it just encourages messy play, and it is also difficult to pick up and convey to a mouth.

I'm on @Anoushkaka 's side with this. I've seen babies of 7 months who eagerly feed themselves if the spoon is filled for them - it's a two-spoon jo, but that's a small price to pay.

And not strapping him in? that's just lazy parenting. Do they not strap him into his baby seat in the car if he fights it? It's stupid and dangerous - you would be surprised how quickly a baby can wriggle out of a highchair if unrestrained. They should be teaching him that when he goes into a highchair, he is strapped in. That's the protocol. He'll very soon get used to it.

An despite what the proud parents think, what that baby displayed were not signs of a great intellect; they were signs of poor, lazy parenting.

[Maddy70]

@Q2C4

And if your child won't eat from a spoon, then what?

Of course they will

[BCBird]

OP I gear yiu. The once my boyfriend and I went for a meal,the greeter approached us and asked, table for 2? I agreed and asked if we coukd be well away from children. My boyfriend was appalled. I explained we were out for a meal.and I didn't want to have to negotiate any noise from other people's children. Went down.like a lead balloon with him. Greeter was unfazed

[TheyAreMyBhunasPete]

@MargotBamborough

Who said I'm martyring myself? I think we avoided eating out with the baby for about 6 months, until we thought he could handle it. And then we started with things like a pub garden lunch with the grandparents so there were plenty of adults there to engage with him and take him off for a walk if he got bored of sitting in the high chair.

We also went to restaurants during that 6 month period without the baby. Two Michelin starred ones, in fact, on each of our birthdays.

My son has just turned two and I would be reasonably confident taking him to a restaurant now, but if either of our kids had an unexpected meltdown we would take them outside to avoid annoying the other customers.

I worked in restaurants for years. There are people who parent their children properly and people who don't, and I am determined to be in the former category. I can't stand the entitled behaviour you see from so many parents and their little darlings these days.

And no, throwing gravy and removing soil from pot plants are not early signs of genius.

"Risk going to a restaurant" what's the risk? Someone might not like sitting next to someone elses kids and may turn their nose up at them? Sounds like it's not the "entitled parents" that are the entitled ones.

[Oysterbabe]

@Reugny

This is NHS advice

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/weaning-and-feeding/foods-to-avoid-giving-babies-and-young-children/#:~:text=Babies%20should%20not%20eat%20much,same%20food%20to%20your%20baby.

Foods to avoid giving babies and young children

Salt
Babies should not eat much salt, as it's not good for their kidneys.

Do not add salt to your baby's food or cooking water, and do not use stock cubes or gravy, as they're often high in salt.

Remember this when you're cooking for the family if you plan to give the same food to your baby.




In the late 90s a toddler died from the parents giving him a diet that was too high in salt the foods they gave him included gravy,

That baby was having 9g of salt a day, 150% of the amount recommended daily amount for adults. A bit of gravy in a restaurant won't hurt.

[Emotionalsupportviper]

@Hugasauras

My 11mo DD2 often comes to restaurants with us. I don't spoon feed her, never have, so she just has something from kids menu that she eats with her hands. She gets messy, sometimes the floor gets messy too, but I wipe her over at the end, get down on my hands and knees and clear up the floor, wipe down the high chair etc. A lot of the time staff rush over and tell me not to! I don't really want to spoon feed her while trying to eat my own dinner too, it's a pain in the arse.

If the food she is being presented with is suitable to eat with fingers then that is fine. Nobody is saying she shouldn't use her hands, just not for stuff like mashed potato.

[Appleass]

Unfortunately it is the parenting of today, let them do as they like, from such a young age, and thats why we live in such a selfish entitled world at the moment.

[MargotBamborough]

@TheyAreMyBhunasPete

Classic judgemental brit hating on babies and children out in public.

I can tell you now that if a child behaved like this in a restaurant in France the other customers wouldn't hold back in saying what they thought about it.

[Housewife2010]

I weaned my children with home made purees. Now as teenagers they are adventurous eaters and are healthy weights. Ironically my one friend who did BLW at the time and used to be enthusiastic about its supposed benefits now has two children who are fussy eaters. One is slightly overweight and the other has been hospitalised with anorexia for the last year. I am not trying to upset anyone who is BLW, I am just saying that I would advise the weaning route that is best for you and your family and don't necessarily believe all the supposed benefits of BLW. Personally I decided that I'd rather spend time making purees and know how much my child had eaten than clear up the huge mess three times a day.