11 month old in restaurant

[Anoushkaka]

So I know things have changed with parenting since I had my own children, youngest is now 11 but do some parents literally just let their kids to what they want?

Went for a meal yesterday with DH and our children. A couple come in with their baby and get seated near us. Highchair is brought over and they put him in but don't strap him in because he doesnt like to be strapped in, mother said this to waitress. They order food and literally plonk a bowl of mash, veg and gravy on the highchair for baby to eat. He puts his hands straight in and starts feeding himself with his hands, food is going everywhere, patents are looking at him and saying "what a great boy he is".

Baby literally has food everywhere, parents make a half hearted attempt to clean baby which results in an almighty tantrum and him nearly falling out of the highchair because he wasn't strapped in. Dessert comes and the same thing with a bowl of ice cream, its everywhere. They then give him a sippy cup that spills all over him because obviously its not one for his age group.

He screams to get out of highchair, father takes him out and let's him bang cutlery on the table, pull soil from a nearby plant pot and again spill water everywhere. All the parents kept saying to staff was ,"oh sorry, he is just so independent and clever for his age".

I was appalled to be honest. I spoke to my friend who is a childminder and stressed that yes unfortunately a lot of parents are now like this.

[Daffodil92]

The absolute hideous entitlement in this thread. I am horrified. I feel so sorry for waitresses.

[MayBeeJuneSoon]

Nasty behaviour!

Adding soil into the mix could well make kiddo sick now

[Oysterbabe]

How boring was your meal that were analysing everything this family did?

[VivaVivaa]

@Anoushkaka

I was quite disgusted that some parents think that behaviour is acceptable,as in the parents behaviour not the baby obviously. Where's the respect for staff and other people who are in the restaurant.

I mean, maybe I’m wrong, but the fact this behaviour stood out to you surely means it isn’t actually common? DS isn’t a baby but it wasn’t all that long ago he was and we certainly wouldn’t have let him pull soil out of plants, walk around spilling water or bang cutlery. If he’d made a mess eating we would have cleaned the table, floor and high chair. All of my friends and associates would have done the same. Maybe these parents were particularly insufferable but to generalise as you did in your opening post that lots of parents are like this these days seems a bit of a leap.

[Daffodil92]

@VivaVivaa i would agree with you, but sadly the responses on this thread suggest otherwise 🙁

[RightWhereYouLeftMe]

do some parents literally just let their kids to what they want?

That's an odd way to phrase it. This wasn't a misbehaving older child, this was a baby who isn't capable of eating more neatly. It isn't about the baby doing what he wants, it's the parents not spoon feeding him and not cleaning up his mess.
I have a 12 month old and she eats with her hands mainly, but I wouldn't let her eat like that in a restaurant (I wouldn't give her food like that, I'd give "tidier" finger food) and would clean up any mess.

[Macaroni46]

I'm with you OP. The parents sound very entitled and inconsiderate. I'd have asked to move tables.
Just because a baby is doing BLW doesn't mean it's ok to make a huge mess in a restaurant. Give them finger foods when out.
But seems the majority on here think it's ok to have no respect for others when out.

[Macaroni46]

@RightWhereYouLeftMe

do some parents literally just let their kids to what they want?

That's an odd way to phrase it. This wasn't a misbehaving older child, this was a baby who isn't capable of eating more neatly. It isn't about the baby doing what he wants, it's the parents not spoon feeding him and not cleaning up his mess.
I have a 12 month old and she eats with her hands mainly, but I wouldn't let her eat like that in a restaurant (I wouldn't give her food like that, I'd give "tidier" finger food) and would clean up any mess.

What about the playing with soil and banging cutlery? That's doing as it wants! Why can't parents just parent their children.

[bladebladebla1]

Ffs, another one

[Tinybrother]

I don’t believe this bit was actually said in these words “All the parents kept saying to staff was ,"oh sorry, he is just so independent and clever for his age".”

[Cornettoninja]

when dd was that age and blw I would share whatever was on my plate with her and hand it over bit by bit. Those parents missed a trick because it’s not long you can get away with that for in restaurants!

[Sceptre86]

I think it's to do with a rise in baby led weaning but also the fact that people are just ruder now. It's become more socially acceptable in some circles to leave a mess wherever you go. Staff expect to tidy up plates, wipes tables and brush floors in a cafe but an excessive level of mess is unreasonable. They should have taken the baby out or moved the plants out of his reach. Also if he was disturbing other people then one should have taken him out. I've had to do that before.

I'd wipe the highchair with wipes and ask for a dustpan and brush if needed. I pick up any large pieces of food my 20 month old may drop on the floor. Kids do make mess but it's about being considerate of others, often I find that staff appreciate you've tried to clean up and will brush up themselves.

[cushioncovers]

Yanbu it's poor parenting. It's a restaurant not a kids playground.

[Tiddlypomtiddlypom]

I never strapped my kid in a high chair after a fairly memorable choking incident.

[MayBeeJuneSoon]

@bladebladebla1

Ffs, another one

Yep!

[WimbyAce]

I can't remember taking ours to a restaurant much at that age but if we did it would be easy bits from our plate and prob some bits we had taken with us. I wouldn't have given anything messy. The soil grabbing sounds awful too!

[Chickenkeev]

@Anoushkaka

I was quite disgusted that some parents think that behaviour is acceptable,as in the parents behaviour not the baby obviously. Where's the respect for staff and other people who are in the restaurant.

If you think that's bad.... i was once in a pub and there was a little kid running wild altogether. Under the staffs feet which was dangerous as they were serving teas and coffees etc. The parents didn't lift a finger to control the child. They were eventually asked to leave. The father went up to the bar to settle the bill and SPAT on his bank card before handing it over.

[GlasgowGal82]

My eldest is almost 9 years old now and I would let him feed himself while I ate at that age. It's not lazy parenting, it's called baby led weaning and it has all sorts of benefits including helping to develop fine motor skills, allowing children to eat at their own pace and learn to regulate what they eat depending on their appetite, which can help avoid obesity and eating disorders when they are older. Maybe it was a bit more uncommon then actually, because I remember his nursery was surprised that he could feed himself yogurt pretty efficiently when he started there at 11 months old. By eighteen months he was able to feed himself without making much mess at all. In the meantime I always carried a plastic bag and wipes to help clear up when we ate up, but restaurant staff always discouraged me and said 'don't worry, we'll clear up'.

[BeachBlondey]

I completely agree with you Op. I just knew you'd get some posts saying "why are you bothered?" or "It's none of your business". It's very hard not to notice bad behaviour, unless you walk around with horse blinkers on, and as human's we are wired to judge other situations. Of course it's ridiculous to allow a baby to feed themselves mashed potato without a spoon - I bet they don't allow that mess at home. Extremely entitled to expect the waiting staff to clear all of that up. And why on earth aren't they teaching a child how to use cutlery? It's just lazy. And people complain about dogs in restaurants!

[GoodChat]

@Anoushkaka

I was quite disgusted that some parents think that behaviour is acceptable,as in the parents behaviour not the baby obviously. Where's the respect for staff and other people who are in the restaurant.

Other adults are much more gross and disrespectful than a baby learning to feed themselves. I'd pick a weaning baby as a restaurant companion every time.

[Ffsmakeitstop]

@MuffinToSeeHere

You've never heard of baby led weaning?

Babies make a mess and he's just as entitled to be there as you were.

So who was supposed to clean up the mess they so lovingly let him make?
And we wonder why people grow up the way they do these days.
Yes I am old but my kids never ran around restaurants or screamed the place down or bothered other patrons. Possibly because we actually parented our kids.

[MuffinToSeeHere]

@GoodChat

Other adults are much more gross and disrespectful than a baby learning to feed themselves. I'd pick a weaning baby as a restaurant companion every time.

Likewise. It's funny how these type of threads are never about the disgusting mess adults, especially drunk adults leave behind.

I know several people who work in hospitality who would all much rather a family with a young baby who makes a mess, which most parents offer to clean up but are told not to worry about it than the mess left by a table full of drunk adults.

[MuffinToSeeHere]

@Ffsmakeitstop

So who was supposed to clean up the mess they so lovingly let him make?
And we wonder why people grow up the way they do these days.
Yes I am old but my kids never ran around restaurants or screamed the place down or bothered other patrons. Possibly because we actually parented our kids.

The op encountered one set of parents who didn't clean up or maybe hey offered and were told not to worry.

Most parents who have children who feed themselves clean up the mess they leave.

[StrawBeretMoose]

We did a mix of spoon feeding and BLW but cleaned up thoroughly. None of the 'clean as best we can' which is often code for a half hearted skim with a baby wipe.
Any crying we went outside. DH worked away a lot during maternity leave with DC1, we sometimes went to join him so ate all lunches/dinners out.

I got pretty embarrassed when we went out with friends who left a mess, and told them so. They didn't see the issue and we'd really not thought they would be those parents.

[GonnaGetGoingReturns]

I don’t have kids but have friends with babies, children and relatives. Not once has any of them followed baby led weaning in restaurants and the parents have always offered to clean up any mess, it’s just polite isn’t it? This has been in recent years as my youngest nephew is 2.5.

The amount of parents and children I see where kids run around restaurants, almost knocking over waitresses with hot food and drink and letting children scream, cry etc is unreal. Of course they’re allowed to come out to eat but I’ve spent pub lunches where a baby loudly screams throughout the meal, not had baby led weaning but if I had food splattered over me by a baby doing this then I’d be annoyed and would complain. Why should my clothes or hair and face get messy by a baby who’s not mine?