To judge these parents

[BaggyJumpersandLeggings]

Currently on holiday abroad.
I've noticed a family here, kids are I'd say - one is around 20 months and the other about 4, if not younger. Mum looks around 7months pregnant.
Our room overlooks kids club where there is a park and soft play and other activities. The sign on kids club says it's open 9:30-12:30 then 14:00-17:30. Now this couple drop their kids off there after breakfast not long after it's opened, they must get them for the lunch break but then they drop them back off as we've seen them collecting them around 16:00ish.
In the meantime, the parents sunbath at the pool all day.
Aibu to think this is just shit!? Why book a family holiday if you're just gonna pack them off to kids club for strangers to look after your kids pretty much all day in another country?!

Today I took my DC in there to use the park for an hour whilst I remained there and I noticed the 1 child sat on the swing looking really sad, just sat there with nobody pushing the swing and their shoes were on the wrong feet, clothes dirty from where they'd been running about/colouring in, just sat there with the tabard on showing that they're there without parents and was looking so sad and down. My heart broke when I saw that child, the younger sibling was being carried about by the staff. I went over and said hello and asked name and offered to push the swing whilst I pushed my DC. Their little face lit up just to have someone talking to them for a short while.
I just don't understand how some can do this, I couldn't ? I get maybe some need an hour or so peace here and there especially if they're live wires - and maybe some kids like it and ask to go...but for hours everyday?? I've seen those kids round the pool once all holiday, and that was late in the day, around 16:30 for an hour. Apart from that never seen them round the pool since. Poor kids.
Aibu to disagree with this holiday parenting?

time together as a family, when everyone works/are in school etc time together is something you don't have. I used to love my family holidays when I was younger, not because we went to some lovely places (we did) but because our parents gave us their undivided attention, they weren't completely shattered from working and would actually have the time and energy to play with us. It's sad that people chose to have kids but then want to revert back to pre kid holidays, it makes me wonder why people have children if they don't want to actually spend time with them when you have the opportunity?

Surely you realise life is not the same for everyone? And that people can have opportunity to spend time with dc when not on holiday?

@PuffinsRocks

Ive never been on holiday to anywhere that has a kids club, but I've always assumed they were in a space exclusive to the kids booked in. Is it not the case?

that has to be a huge security risk if the general public can just go in. I wouldn't leave a child there.

Yes, I was thinking that. It sounds like a terrible set up.

Maybe she’s (or he) is a full on finger painting sahm type and this is their break?

It’s a little sad though. We never went anywhere with a kids club when they were tiny and once they were old enough to express an opinion both mine flatly refused to go. I hated them myself as a kid. We don’t really do organised fun and befriending randoms on holiday in our family we prefer to hang out together and read our books. Horses for courses!

I have been to a resort that had a gated kids club where parents could use it with their kids as well- big adventure playground in the shade. But the kids club looked very well supervised and big enough that the kids being looked after with staff were kept in a group (with their tabards on) so randomers wouldn’t just be able to go up to them.

Yanbu!

I'm with you OP, YANBU. It is sad. Kids clubs are great but if the child isnt happy and they are there all day everyday, it seems very sad.

I'd judge them for using an unsafe kids club. When I was five months pregnant with DC2, ill and exhausted, we went on holiday with DC1 and I fully intended to leave DC1 in the kids club for a large chunk of the day. However, the club turned out to be in temporary, unsecured premises and I was unimpressed by the staff, so quickly decided, tired as I was, that there was no way I was leaving a lively 4yo who couldn't swim with these people in close proximity to water.

By 7 months, I was so tired and unwell (challenging pregnancy) that in between taking DC1 to school and clubs, the TV was doing most of the parenting for me.

But no, I wouldn't judge the mum for using kids clubs while heavily pregnant. I might judge her partner for not stepping up to spend more time with his children, but not without knowing their circumstances in more detail. Maybe he's had a hellish time at work recently and they're just all exhausted.

Thea you are very fortunate if you can 'hang out together and read books' with your DC. My DS loves to be busy and active all the time so a Kids Club was great for him .. he could try fully supervised new activities whilst I could relax and read my book and DH could go off for a long bike ride (for example - and yes, DH frequently took DS cycling as well).. I think DC also need to understand that holiday time is for adults too and not just about 'entertaining' their DC all the time.
And some of the Clubs my DS has been to over the years offered amazing experiences that neither DH or I would have been able to do without expensive equipment and proper training.
Obviously it depends on the type of Club you use and some are clearly better then other.

The kids club sounds shit. They should be letting the parents know if the children are unhappy. But it is sad in my opinion if the parents are not spending anytime with their kids. But I also understand why they need a break. It's swings and roundabouts.

Well thank god you were the to save that poor child! Their eyes ‘lit up’ at the thought of a conversation with you! That didn’t happen so much it un-happened things that did.
you are being unreasonable, judgemental and smug.

I agree it is a v sad depiction of a "family holiday".

My child absolutely loves kids clubs! On a cruise last year we could hardly get her out of them! They did so many games, crafts, competitions, films etc...... she had the best time! She used to be upset when we got her for lunch and dinner and would beg to go in the evening as well.

On one port day she just wanted to stay in the club all day as she had made friends, would be entertained and not traipsing around with mum and dad. We had some time off, child was very happy and she says it was the best holiday she has ever had.

I’m with you OP. Everyone saying mum needs a break, there's a father there too!
Dh spent hours playing with our 2 so I could relax.
My dc chose whether or not to go into kids club. Mostly didn’t.

Maybe the mum is a SAHM and is with her kids 24/7 and needs some time to relax before the next baby arrives.

Maybe they fancied a baby moon but didn't have anyone to leave the kids with, or didn't want to leave them for a full week. Would you have liked the arrangement better if the parents if they had left the kids home with Grandma going to nursery or preschool every day?

No, it doesn't sound like a typical "family" holiday, but maybe that wasn't what the parents were aiming for - maybe they were aiming for a holiday for them to relax, and this was the best way they could make that happen.

And re the dirty clothes, please 🙄 the child had been drawing and playing alll day, I am sure they got fresh clothes when they got back to their parents. Stop trying to paint some weird picture of neglect.

She has 2 kids under 5, and one on the way. Maybe she's just knackered and those 5 hours peace give her a fighting chance of being super mum for the other 19 hours in the day.

My kids couldn't wait to go kids club at our timeshare, OP. They did games, colouring competition, drama and played in the park area. We went to that resort annually and other resorts around the world - we holidayed for about 6 weeks of the year using our timeshare it was great! It was the only resort we ever left our kids at the kids club though, because some just didnt measure up, so maybe the kids club at your resort isn't that great.

My DH and I used to hang around the resort in case we were needed 🤣🤣🤣 neither us are great sun worshippers. I know other parents did a drop and dump, but the kids were always well looked after.

I wouldn't judge. For all you know the mum is SAHM and this is here chance for a break!

When we went away last year, our kids (2 under 2). Went in the crèche 9-1 for 5 days. That was the first time, due to covid my OH and I had any time to ourselves since having the kids, due to covid & lack of childcare back home.

That’s why I said horses got courses! If your child is a lively extrovert who loves kids clubs result. Mine are the opposite of that! Remember hating the forced fun myself as a kid. Agree it’s sad if younger children are left there for long periods and not enjoying themselves.

I'm with you OP, it's sad 😢

Please start a thread to share these stories, I can't be the only one who's curious!

You’ll get blasted for this opinion but I agree. What a sad holiday for children to be dropped in holiday clubs. Unless both parents are stay at home parents and spend all week with their children at home , surely a family holiday is to spend time together because parents work all week while DC are in school. I’ve never understood it.

Mine went, but as no one ever took them for a few daytime hours apart from being in nursery or school when we were working, it was the only break together we ever got all year.
They were used to childcare settings though, and confident, sociable kids. And only ever went for a couple of hours each day, and we wouldn't have sent them if they didn't want to go.
Those few hours lying child free in the sun were absolute heaven.
As they got older and didn't need much supervision they chose to go less but the benefit to us was negligible by then anyway.
We still spent the vast vast majority of time all together. They are my happiest memories.

I haven’t used kids clubs on holiday thus far but may send my older two (young primary age) for a few morning or afternoon sessions while we’re away this summer. At this age I can completely see that they will have lots of fun, do extra activities they can’t necessarily do with parents and make friends, plus we get a bit of a break too.

But I don’t see how any 20 month old can genuinely enjoy one of these clubs - at that age surely they would rather be with their parents? And actually this is even more true if one of the parents is a SAHP - the child normally spends all their time with that parent and then suddenly on holiday in a strange place they are sent off to spend most of the day with people they don’t know - that must be really confusing for them, and at that age they can’t necessarily express that confusion and say they don’t want to go (I know on MN all children are speaking in full sentences at six months, but in the real world young toddlers aren’t all massively articulate).

Haha same!