To judge these parents

[BaggyJumpersandLeggings]

Currently on holiday abroad.
I've noticed a family here, kids are I'd say - one is around 20 months and the other about 4, if not younger. Mum looks around 7months pregnant.
Our room overlooks kids club where there is a park and soft play and other activities. The sign on kids club says it's open 9:30-12:30 then 14:00-17:30. Now this couple drop their kids off there after breakfast not long after it's opened, they must get them for the lunch break but then they drop them back off as we've seen them collecting them around 16:00ish.
In the meantime, the parents sunbath at the pool all day.
Aibu to think this is just shit!? Why book a family holiday if you're just gonna pack them off to kids club for strangers to look after your kids pretty much all day in another country?!

Today I took my DC in there to use the park for an hour whilst I remained there and I noticed the 1 child sat on the swing looking really sad, just sat there with nobody pushing the swing and their shoes were on the wrong feet, clothes dirty from where they'd been running about/colouring in, just sat there with the tabard on showing that they're there without parents and was looking so sad and down. My heart broke when I saw that child, the younger sibling was being carried about by the staff. I went over and said hello and asked name and offered to push the swing whilst I pushed my DC. Their little face lit up just to have someone talking to them for a short while.
I just don't understand how some can do this, I couldn't ? I get maybe some need an hour or so peace here and there especially if they're live wires - and maybe some kids like it and ask to go...but for hours everyday?? I've seen those kids round the pool once all holiday, and that was late in the day, around 16:30 for an hour. Apart from that never seen them round the pool since. Poor kids.
Aibu to disagree with this holiday parenting?

They chose a resort with childcare for little ones, their choice

Literally thought this

Mine refused to go anywhere near them😥

Incredibly sad to send children to a kids club designed for them to have fun and play with other children.
jesus this place can be absurd

I wouldn’t think it was my place to judge, and mine quite enjoyed some kids club activities at primary-ish age, but 20m especially seems quite little, and the supervision seems fairly lacking.

I always wanted to go to those kids clubs when I was a child, I thought they sounded amazing! New friends! Never got to go to one though.

My child would absolutely love the idea, a more social butterfly would be hard to find. I’d have to drag them away. But I think I’d actually like to see them whilst on holiday so definitely wouldn’t utilise the club to the extent you’ve described.

We don’t really go on that kind of holiday so it’s unlikely to be a scenario I face in reality.

I find this sad too. I can only reference my own kids though, who really struggle with childcare settings.

I love family holidays when we're both on hand to enjoy the kids, rather than passing the baton as we do throughout a normal working week.

Susper sad if its all day every day.

Aibu to think this is just shit!? Why book a family holiday if you're just gonna pack them off to kids club for strangers to look after your kids pretty much all day in another country

But they didn't book a family holiday! They booked a holiday with a childcare facility that they are using heavily while they sunbathe. So it seems like what they booked is a sun break. Not a family holiday. Maybe they do other holidays where they do things as a family, maybe they're in desperate need of a break, maybe they're shit parents. Any of those things could be true but there's no point judging or giving it headspace when you don't know what's going on.

And I would be very careful about approaching other people's young children and engaging them in conversation. You open yourself up to problems and, more importantly, you erode the boundaries that we try and teach children about stranger awareness.

Agree, op

Exactly.

@BaggyJumpersandLeggings
You sound utterly insufferable

It's very sad.

Sure, we all need a break at times, but what's the point in going on a family holiday if you don't want to spend the better part of the day together? Why bother to have a family at all?

I've never used those clubs. I enjoyed my children's company and holidays especially.
I remember around the time that MM disappeared,I commented to a friend that I couldn't believe that people went on holiday and left their kids whilst they went out. I was astounded when she said that she and her friends had often done it,in the past,but wouldn't consider it now.

I did wonder if it was a class/ income thing as they were all university educated well off people in 'professional' jobs? Neither I nor anyone I knew,went abroad as kids,so perhaps it wasn't the norm for us,so we didn't do it. I don't know,but I still think about it sometimes.

This 💯

Poor woman is heavily pregnant with 20 mth old and 4 year old.

Perhaps this is their first holiday in a while after bereavement redundancy mental health stress - who knows.

If you have plenty of energy and internal resources to be a lovely lively engaging mum for your kids on holiday that's great - brilliant for you and your family.

But don't judge for there may come a time when you are at the end of your tether with nothing left to give.

We’ve never used one. I don’t understand going on holidays with your kids and not spending time with your kids.

We use after school care three days a week because we both work. I feel guilty about that but can’t change it.

Well the kids club should be taking care of her and organising activities.
We put our kids in a day club on holiday a few times. But they were kept busy the whole time and really enjoyed it.

You sound super judgemental, they are not your children and you’re on holiday but are watching another family a lot of the time by the sounds of it! Focus on you and your own family rather than judging others! Parenting can be tough, specially with two young children and pregnant with another!

My dd went to a kids club once age 5. It wasn’t in any way secure and she didn’t like it so just walked out, which was fine as I was only a few metres away. That couldn’t have been the case for all parents and the organisers didn’t even notice, worryingly. Dd never wanted to go to another one and I wasn’t sure I’d have wanted her to despite being desperate for the respite as I’m not a well woman. All day and at this age, I’d definitely judge.

Tbf, the adults are about to become outnumbered. Maybe they feel like this is their last holiday/time for peace before child number 3 arrives, could even be twins for all you know.

My third pregnancy I could barely walk due to spd, so would have definitely made use of the clubs if I'd been abroad. Maybe the couples relationship has taken a strain with having young children and another on the way and they are trying to reconnect.

Would I use the clubs all day everyday? No. Could I understand why some people might? Yes.

Lovely- but as a single working parents of 3 I did need a holiday as well - no other half to carry the load you see - I still spent 80% of My holiday with my kids - do I get a hold star

I think you are jumping to conclusions. She’s pregnant, maybe she needs a break because feels like shit. You saw her elder child looking sad once, it doesn’t mean he’s sad most of the time.

It’s not ideal I agree, in part because it sounds like the care isn’t adequate, but no it doesn’t make them awful parents.

Sorry but you come across as very judgmental! As you are such an amazing Mother I am surprised that you had enough time to clock the other family!!

I wouldn't ever use one in terms of leaving the kids there. I'd happily go along with them if parents are allowed to join in some activities. I'm used to being around them lots as we don't use childcare currently or have family nearby, ours are still little. Dh is also an equal parent so I'm not done in. A holiday abroad is a rare thing for us though so it would be as much about the kids as us.

I appreciate different parents will have their own challenges and some childfree time might be important to them. Some might have only children that want to make friends or have the company of other children etc.