Is this horrible from DH ?

[fumpster]

Married 15 years, together 25.
Recently, DH says to me:
Don't tell me about your dreams from last night. Dreams are not real and I won't want to hear about made-up drivel.

Plse don't tell me what you are doing next at home, you do not need to narrate your life to me and I do not want hear you narrate your life. This is in response to situations where e.g. we are watching TV together then I say I am going upstairs for a bath/bed or I say I am going to lock the front door or I say I've forgotten to put the dishwasher on, I'll just go and do it, type of thing.

AIBU to say this is not very nice or am I being too much or a princess by getting upset about it ?

You could try just not speaking to him at all and see how that goes?

If he says anything similar to you ask him not to.

Depends how often you do it.
Is it EVERY time you leave his side or wake up or just an occasional comment?

I will say I'm just going for a bath / to bed
we also share weird dreams (but we both do)
I wouldn't announce going to do the dishes/make dinner/clean the fridge /answer the door etc...

Totally with your husband. You do not need to narrate your life. It's very tedious to listen to.

@Nicknacky yes, yes it does matter. If he's going into the kitchen he can bring me back a drink 😊if he's going for a wee I'll keep the tv on pause, if he's off to shower or potter in the shed then I'll put something on I want to watch.

plus I just like to know what he's doing 🤭

Hmmmm I get his point tbh lol

@Ouchthisstings oh we're all so different! It would piss me off if he didn't say!!

That would irritate the hell out of me if I had to explain why I was leaving the room and where I was going every time.

Hang on, it would piss you off if your husband DIDN'T tell you he was going to the loo?

I'm 100% with you OP.

DH tells me about his dreams quite often, it's 2 or 3 sentences I really couldn't be annoyed by it. I like people who narrate personally, I want to know that they've put the washing on/emptied the dishwasher etc as then I know that I don't need to get up and do it. I can't imagine just walking out the door and going somewhere without mentioning it and saying bye.

To me it sounds like he's either in a shitty mood and taking it out on you or he has been with you so long that he now just finds everything about you irritating.
I don't know why people are defending him though when he's basically telling you what you can and can't talk about and how you can and can't behave.

I'd say I'll stop narrating and telling you about my dreams when you stop snoring and leaving wet towels on the floor (or whatever). Being in a relationship requires some compromise and he's being a bit of an asshole IMO.

Mine does, an all out account of his day at work, but anything important I don’t hear about, and when I say ‘you never told me that’ he swears blind he did!

Male here. The only dreams I don't mind hearing about are sex ones which involved me. Saying that, I will listen politely but thankfully telling me about dreams is infrequent and she gets to the point quickly and it's never a long story.

I'd be the same as you, if we are sitting together and I jump up, I'll often say, oh, forgot to put away the milk or just got to go take the meter readings or whatever. I guess in case my OH is wondering where I'm going. Maybe they don't care?! :-D she's never pulled me up on it. People on here are making out you and always narrating your whole life, I don't read it like that, just saying the odd comment. He sounds grumpy to be honest. If he's not particularly interested, he could just smile and say okay, why be such a grouch?

But if you are sat watching tv and one person just gets up and leaves how do you know if they will be 2 mins going to the loo or if they’re off to bed? I will tell my partner what I’m up to sometimes so he can organise himself around that. So for example if I say ‘I’m going to walk the dog in a bit’ he can sort himself out to come along if he wants to. But we like spending time together.

I can see his point. I can’t bear it when people tell me their dreams and it’s equally annoying to be given a narration on what you’re doing or going to do. I actually have a tendency to give a run through of what I’m about to do myself so I empathise and have been told (by my kids at various times) that I need to stop (which I have made efforts to do). I might sounds sexist but I think men particularly don’t want to hear a step by step breakdown of someone’s comings and going’s (my kids both male and both hate it too). Or they at least are more direct about it than say a female family member or friend.

He's being bloody awful, what you're saying is perfect rly normal and surely just day to day chat when you live with someone?

It’

As an introvert, hearing someone else’s external monologue the whole time is excruciating. I quite like having quiet about the house. I like to be thinking my thoughts. But I think your DH is being mean and unfair because he did marry you and presumably you haven’t changed!

I agree with DH but can see why you were hurt

I live with a narrator. They are completely tone deaf to whatever else is going on in the room and they narrate down to what they will eat and the quantity (as though someone is going to tell them it’s not allowed). If it’s a task it’s what they’re doing, why they’re doing it now, what they will do next. And it is impossible to stop them mid stream because they will continue their script. Have you considered you might have OCD?

I can see his point about the dreams tbh

We have this but the other way round. I absolutely despise small talk of any kind, it's excruciating and I have no idea of what to say back. DH always complains I don't talk enough and he doesn't like it and feels lonely. I just don't have anything to say!

It doesn't come into my head to tell him or anyone that I need the toilet or I'm making a drink, I just do it.

MIL is visiting at the moment and god the constant talk and questions "what did you have for lunch?" "Was it nice?" "How was the ham on your sandwich?" "What will you have for dinner tomorrow?" It's just constant and takes a lot for me to not shout I DONT CARE at her.

I'm a bit like this with my husband. Would find it odd if he went out of the front door and hadn't told me where he was going and equally I'd tell him. I think it's pretty normal to say, I'm popping to the shop, would you like anything?

If we're watching TV together then again, if one of us needs the loo, or are going to get pudding, we'll obviously say! Again, I'd find it odd if he just walked off in silence - do I pause, how long will he be, why is he silent?

So, getting to my point. Normal interaction is fine. But I get frustrated when my husband lists his forthcoming movements to me. For example, I'm just going to clean my teeth, then I'm going to iron a shirt for tmrw, then I'll put my socks away etc etc. OK fine, but why do I need a list?!

I also don't like having dreams recounted back to me, it's so dull.

The worst though, is the questioning. Shall I change toddlers nappy? Shall I take the bin out? Shall I wash this up? I just always answer with 'up to you.'

In all fairness, my husband is amazing and does more than his faire share as well as working all the hours in a day but why ask if you're going to do it anyway?!

Lol, I think I'm with you! DH cannot stand silence and will talk incessantly and it drives me mad!

He used to also ask lots of questions.

When we first started going out, if I got up off the sofa in his house he'd say "where are you going?". Initially I just told him I was getting a drink or going to the loo or whatever, but eventually it got really irritating. I mean, he had a 1 bedroom flat - there wasn't really many places for me to go! I started saying "I'm just off to rob you, is that OK?" 😂He stopped asking after that.

Kindly, OP, I think you may be oversharing. If I've forgotten to put the dishwasher on, I'll just get up and go and put it on. I don't need to tell the room where I'm going. Your DH could probably have been nicer about it, but I confess I have snapped at DH in the past when he's annoyed me.

The dreams thing would bother me less. Neither DH or I dream often, but we'll often share our dreams, particularly if they were a bit bonkers!

Ughhh. My Mother narrates her life and it drives my poor Dad INSANE. "I'm just going into the kitchen" and "I'm just going to lock the door".....but also "I'm just wondering whether to put this cup on the side, or the coffee table". Every. Little. Thing.

These are things you should be saying in your head not out loud. There's nothing wrong with comfortable silence. You probably don't realise how much you're doing it but oh my god its fucking annoying. Please please STOP!!

I don't know, I'm not a narrator but some people just are. OP has been this way for years so why is it annoying now? I'd be worried about why now?

Also, he definitely could have been kinder about it. Being irritated does not excuse being rude.

Surely when you live with someone for years, you've got a pretty good idea what they're likely to be doing when they leave the room and don't need to be kept informed?

There aren’t many surprises to be had after 25 years together.