To think my NDN should stop knocking on my door?

[Foly]

I live in a flat and there are 9 other flats in my building.

My NDN (I'm number 7, he's number 8) will find any excuse to knock on my door and ask me questions/ speak to me.

He's a man in his late 50's and I'm a woman in my early 30's, both live alone, just for context.

It started after I took a parcel in for him and he came to collect it. I genuinely don't mind doing this and I'd do it for any neighbour.

However, after this he came to my door to -

• ask if I was okay because he heard something through the wall..?

-tell me he could look after my cats anytime -tell me he could help when getting a sofa delivered -ask if I could hear his alarm in the morning -ask if we could swap flat keys in case of an emergency -ask if I want to do my laundry in his flat because he has a really good washing machine

It's getting worse and I am getting concerned now. He's just knocked on the door 2 minutes ago and I didn't answer. He knows I am home though. 😥

What can I do besides moving out? 😩

Never ever give him a key. If you do, I can pretty much guarantee he will let himself in randomly under the guise of being worried about you

PM me your address and OP can send him round to you.

Maybe he is lonely because he’s a tedious arse.

You reap what you sow.

If he is lonely then he should be looking to cultivate friends his own age - volunteer - get a social hobby.

But the reality is he is a predatory sex pest who has targeted a lone younger woman and he’s deluded and entitled and ignorant enough to push her boundaries and invade her space.

You obviously didn’t read my comment correctly.

@WotsitsMadeIn1927 I absolutely did. Your post is contradictory. You say it’s not OPs responsibility and then add a ‘but’ Then suggest an action to befriend him and make him feel less lonely ,and so taking on that responsibility. It’s not OPs responsibility, end of sentence.

It’s obvious OP does not feel comfortable about the situation so ‘when you feel safe to do so’ is going to be never.

It’s obvious OP does not feel comfortable about the situation so ‘when you feel safe to do so’ is going to be never

I agree. OP should trust her gut on this. Going round to his flat alone or him coming to hers alone after he has pestered her and tried to get her key is unsafe- literally anything could happen. Women should never, ever feel obliged to be alone with men they don’t feel safe or comfortable with and if that’s never then so be it. There are many, many, community events, volunteering opportunities and online friendship groups that this man could join if he is genuinely lonely. He is clearly able bodied if he offered to help her move a heavy sofa so why can’t he go out to meet people his own age? I

Hope you are doing OK @Foly, that you're not being bothered by your rather creepy neighbour and your weekend is going well. Take care. 🌹

@Foly yes would be interested to know how your are OP. Hoping you’ve not heard from him xx

He sounds like an intrusive creep. These people KNOW when their foisted presence is neither wanted nor welcome.

What you suggest above is not only ill-advised, but potentially dangerous. Men's 'loneliness' does not trump a woman's very real need for safety and privacy in her own home of all places.

In an ideal world yes. In this world, there are men out there who will see this as a green light to intrude further. He is an old man, he shouldn't be even thinking of knocking on a young womans door.