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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I apologise 20 years later for a dress? (very trivial)

167 replies

DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:15

I know now that the dress I wore to my best friend's wedding was inappropriate, and since I realised, I've been quietly cringing. I even did a reading at the church in it (don't ask how I didn't realise at the time it was inappropriate - I was just an idiot, I suppose, and genuinely it didn't cross my mind that "dress for wedding" and "dress to go out in" differed).

WIBU to apologise after 20 years, or will it just remind her what a nob I was?!

NB I know the DRESS was U, but would a 20-year-old apology be?

YABU - you shouldn't apologise, it will only remind her. Or you don't need to.
YANBU - yes, apologise

The dress was very much like this: Bow Sweetheart Elegant Bodycon Polyester Mini Dresses (295285804) - JJ's House (jjshouse.co.uk)

[£ 33.00] Bow Sweetheart Elegant Bodycon Polyester Mini Dresses - JJ's House

5% Off for New Customers. Daily Updates. Fast Shipping √ Worry-Free Return √ 24/7 Online Service. Quick & Secure Checkout. Discover Great Savings & Perfect Look of Dresses at JJ's House Today!

https://www.jjshouse.co.uk/Bow-Sweetheart-Elegant-Bodycon-Polyester-Mini-Dresses-295285804-g285804/?utm_term=285804&utm_size=XL&ggntk=x&ggkey=&ggtgt=18&ggplm=&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmZejBhC_ARIsAGhCqnck6rf4B0Hc3hnjqLQBAb6zruzDaoTUPVcwF2mlZS-nQIzNlGIkqPEaAqGbEALw_wcB&ucid=3858

OP posts:
HadEnough2023 · 18/05/2023 18:16

YABU and ridiculous that dress is fine for a wedding.

lottie2888 · 18/05/2023 18:16

It’s nice! There is nothing wrong with it. I bet she didn’t notice what you wore anyhow.

Moltenpink · 18/05/2023 18:16

That dress is fine! I bet you looked great.

LittleFreakJezebel · 18/05/2023 18:18

Ermmm the dress is fine for a wedding.

Maybe not according to weird MN wedding guest dress rules but IRL it's a totally normal thing to wear.

Original poster
DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:18

Ooh, I wasn't expecting to be reassured about it - THANK YOU! That's very welcome. Perhaps I can actually stop cringing then - even better!

OP posts:
pbdr · 18/05/2023 18:18

What are you on about? What's wrong with that dress? I'm peering at it struggling to see what has caused such a dramatic reaction 20 years later... just looks like a fairly standard red dress to me.

WunWun · 18/05/2023 18:19

I was expecting a wedding dress 😁

Original poster
DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:20

Wow - phew! Thank you all.
It's actually been MN that made me "realise" how inappropriate and embarrassing it had been.

It's the tightness and low-cut-ness I suppose that made me think it was Against The Rules

OP posts:
Aprilx · 18/05/2023 18:20

I shall go against the flow here and OP I agree with you that is not appropriate for a wedding, that is a cocktail dress. But there really is no need to apologise now.

Original poster
DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:21

To be fair, my version may have been slightly thinner material, but definitely same vibe (and same colour).

OP posts:
SisterAgatha · 18/05/2023 18:21

i thought it was going to be white! Don’t apologise, that’s a perfectly acceptable dress.

IrregularChoiceFan · 18/05/2023 18:22

Thats a lovley dress! It's not something I could get away with (too many lumps and bumps haha) but if I could i would wear simular for sure!

Original poster
DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:22

Aprilx · 18/05/2023 18:20

I shall go against the flow here and OP I agree with you that is not appropriate for a wedding, that is a cocktail dress. But there really is no need to apologise now.

Thank you for thinking I don't have to apologise, even if you agree the dress was wrong...

OP posts:
Original poster
DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:22

Haha, you lot are removing a 5-year-long cringe for me 😅

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 18/05/2023 18:23

DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:21

To be fair, my version may have been slightly thinner material, but definitely same vibe (and same colour).

Was it see-through or something?!

Original poster
DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:23

Shinyandnew1 · 18/05/2023 18:23

Was it see-through or something?!

Show quote history

Not quite 😂

OP posts:
Haywirecity · 18/05/2023 18:25

I think its a bit exposing at the front for a daytime wedding, although it's definitely not cringe territory!, It's fine for evening. No apology necessary but everyone will have forgotten about it by now, anyway, so don't resurrect it.

SquirrelFeed · 18/05/2023 18:26

Would she laugh? My best mate (thinner and prettier, always) wore a strapless, satin, ivory top. Top half of my dress was similar and I had nothing on my head/in my hair so in pictures you wouldn’t know who was the bride. If she said sorry I’d find it funny. I wasn’t overly bothered on the day (other than she looked exceptional as always 😆) I wasn’t competing with anyone, we’re best mates, no big deal.

Original poster
DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:26

This is going so well that I'll now double check with you all that I wore the right outfit to my neighbour's funeral...

Should I apologise 20 years later for a dress? (very trivial)
OP posts:
skilpadde · 18/05/2023 18:27

I thought your link was going to show a white dress with a bridal hint.

Your dress was fine... don't worry!

LysHastighed · 18/05/2023 18:27

There’s a huge gap between typical wedding guest fashion, which this isn’t, and inappropriate, which this also isn’t. I’ve been to weddings where someone came in dirty jeans. You’re fine.

DappledThings · 18/05/2023 18:27

It would have made me raise an eyebrow but no more than that. It's definitely tighter and more low-cut than I would say is appropriate for a wedding but I've seen worse. Definitely not bad enough to raise the issue again now.

MichaelAndEagle · 18/05/2023 18:28

DressRegret · 18/05/2023 18:26

This is going so well that I'll now double check with you all that I wore the right outfit to my neighbour's funeral...

😂

DaaamnYoullDo · 18/05/2023 18:29

It is absolutely fine! I thought it was going to be at least white or even white lace. It's literally a nice flattering dress.

Darkchocolatekitkat · 18/05/2023 18:29

Honestly I think that’s a bit inappropriate for wearing in a church (the tie front/cleavage aspect of it), but not so inappropriate that anyone would remember or care. Forget about it. I have absolutely no idea what anyone wore to my wedding except my bridesmaids, I doubt your friend remembers anything about your dress.

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