Should I apologise 20 years later for a dress? (very trivial)

[DressRegret]

I know now that the dress I wore to my best friend's wedding was inappropriate, and since I realised, I've been quietly cringing. I even did a reading at the church in it (don't ask how I didn't realise at the time it was inappropriate - I was just an idiot, I suppose, and genuinely it didn't cross my mind that "dress for wedding" and "dress to go out in" differed).

WIBU to apologise after 20 years, or will it just remind her what a nob I was?!

NB I know the DRESS was U, but would a 20-year-old apology be?

YABU - you shouldn't apologise, it will only remind her. Or you don't need to.
YANBU - yes, apologise

The dress was very much like this: Bow Sweetheart Elegant Bodycon Polyester Mini Dresses (295285804) - JJ's House (jjshouse.co.uk)

Yep, I thought it was going to be white as well. I would just be envious if one of my friends wore that to a wedding (yes, even mine) and looked as good as that. OK, a bit booby, but loads of people meet their eventual partners at a wedding, don't they! So it's a great place to wear something that makes you look lovely x

Thank you again - I really did think I was going to get a bit of a wrist-slap. Bringing it up now would definitely feel weird - as if anyone would give a shit 20 years later - you're all right

Ah OP don’t worry! I think there is some sort of “rule” saying don’t wear red to a wedding, but my mate wore a red dress and looked glorious and nobody cared. It’s more cocktail than wedding but I don’t think it’s wrong as such. I really, really wouldn’t be worrying now! Surely a bride would only care if it was white!!

Tell me you’ve spent too long on MN without telling me you’ve spent too long on MN!

@Findyourneutralspace 😂😂

Haha, VERY true 😂

Nothing wrong with that dress at all! Forget about it. Like others I was expecting you to post a long white dress lol

it’s a bit ‘raunchy’ for a wedding tbh. If someone came on now and said ‘I’m wearing this dress to church wedding and doing a reading’ I imagine a fair few would say don’t.

I also agree that it wasn't a suitable dress but that you don't need to apologise.

But you did provide a very, very important wedding function of The Woman Wearing The Inappropriate Dress, a partner of the role The Man Whose Suit Doesn't Suit - usually either a strictly 'business' suit, or something weird and non-stylishly mismatched.

Similar roles include The Non Scottish Uncle Who Wears A Kilt And Makes Shit Jokes About It All Night and The Mum Wearing Mourning Or Bridal Wear To Her Son's Wedding.

All part of the fun, you provided an essential service to other guests.

But you did provide a very, very important wedding function of The Woman Wearing The Inappropriate Dress

Ha, yes I like to think I saved some other poor soul from having to do it... 😄

Did you help provide interest in any other way? Scandalous behaviour, accidentally flashing the kilt wearing uncle, overheard making a sniffy comment about the wine?

It’s a bit borderline in that I wouldn’t personally wear it to a wedding, but not so much that if I saw someone else do it I’d be cringing for them! Bet you had a stunning figure too!

I don’t think this requires cringing 20 years later, but you could by all means mention in passing if you are discussing what to wear to someone else’s wedding soon and it would make you feel better to do so!

This 'rule' about not wearing red to a wedding is something I've only ever heard about on MN; never heard anyone in RL mention it.

Not wearing white makes sense, given that the bride will usually be wearing white but what's wrong with red?

I suspect it was a 'rule' made up by a MNer and everyone has just repeated it over the years.

Maybe not 20 years ago?

I was expecting a white frilly dress or one where your Fanny was on show🤣

I didn’t give the colour a second thought. It was more the clingy, low cut, evening cocktail dress style that I thought looked out of place for day time wedding,

Bit of a pippa Middleton moment dress lol! I'm sure she's not bothered unless all eyes were on your bum

It’s a bit revealing and overtly sexual for a wedding but it’s a nice dress and I’ve seen worse worn at weddings - I don’t think anyone would do more than a mild eyebrow raise at it. You’ve got nothing to worry about - you can stand down from your cringing session 😉

I can understand because I keep being thrown by my cousin wearing bodycon mini dresses and thigh-high split cocktail dresses to christenings and funerals
However, I think your dress was fine and stylish for a wedding. Few years ago a sister of the bride wore a white mini tulle bridal number to a wedding. I think the only Unreasonable would be an imitation wedding dress like that one.

It was 2003 not the dark ages. As a young 19/20 year old at the time this is exactly the sort of thing I would have worn to a wedding.

It's would be considered a bit tarty I would think in my circles if you were really pushing for an answer, but equally I've seen a lot worse at weddings!
When you're young that's how you dress then you get old and fat and look forward to the food and chat at weddings rather than the dancing and the pulling opportunities

There is nothing wrong with that dress at all!

It's not ideal, but you're still friends, so absolutely do not mention it!

I don't think it's appropriate for a wedding, but could be much worse. I wouldn't apologise it's definitely not as big a deal as it is in your head.

I actually think dresses like this were more in/acceptable than they would be today. 20 years ago, I was late teens and I always wore something really fitted to weddings (of which there were many in my big, Irish family!) - it was the fashion! We all looked like we could be going onto a (classy) nightclub afterwards. These days I find wedding guest attire way more conservative and even casual - all very long and floaty. Would not have been the thing two decades ago. I bet you looked banging :-)