Should I apologise 20 years later for a dress? (very trivial)

[DressRegret]

I know now that the dress I wore to my best friend's wedding was inappropriate, and since I realised, I've been quietly cringing. I even did a reading at the church in it (don't ask how I didn't realise at the time it was inappropriate - I was just an idiot, I suppose, and genuinely it didn't cross my mind that "dress for wedding" and "dress to go out in" differed).

WIBU to apologise after 20 years, or will it just remind her what a nob I was?!

NB I know the DRESS was U, but would a 20-year-old apology be?

YABU - you shouldn't apologise, it will only remind her. Or you don't need to.
YANBU - yes, apologise

The dress was very much like this: Bow Sweetheart Elegant Bodycon Polyester Mini Dresses (295285804) - JJ's House (jjshouse.co.uk)

I was expecting something skimpy ... and white!

I thought you were going to say you wore a long white dress! The dress was fine, maybe would have raised a few eyebrows among more conservative family members but its not outrageous.

Well when I showed my wedding photos to a friend she actually thought my SiL was wearing a bikini! I still cringe to think of it, especially the witness signing which is basically a boob shot.

My wedding was less than 20 years ago... I can barely remember what I wore, let alone my mates 😆

The MN obsession with enforcing dress "rules" for weddings is completely baffling. Do real life brides* actually waste time after the big day being furious with any transgressors?

*because let's face it, the grooms definitely don't care

20 years ago? You are way overthinking it! Even if it was inappropriate move on with your life! I honestly think it's bonkers to worry about something you wore on one day 20 years ago (in fact when I wrote this I double checked you didn't mean 20 days ago!)

I’ve seen worse. A guest at my nieces wedding wore a white sheath dress like this, it was covered in lozenge shaped mirrored sequins. It dazzled everyone, literally.

The dress is maybe not quite the right vibe for a wedding, but it’s definitely not outrageous or worth years of worry or an apology!

If it is still bothering you, could you reminisce with your friend about the wedding, and lightheartedly mention your dress? It’s very possible your friend doesn’t even remember what you were wearing.

I was imagining micro mini from your post, but the one you've linked to is knee length!
Yes, in an ideal world you could have been a bit more covered up in the church, but really, I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Did anyone make "scarlet woman" jokes at the time or since? That would have been an indicator. And what was everyone else wearing?
Anyway, 20 years on,an apology would be s bit extreme .

This was 20 years ago and fashions were different. I, assuming it's the never ending threads about whether something is suitable to wear to a wedding that is making you feel like this? Back then, we pretty much did what we liked without having to consult the internet on every small decision, or have photos of ourselves shared for scrutiny on social media.

The dress looks fine - a bit eveningy maybe but not so it stands out. I find that if I feel bad, apologizing makes me feel better so I would if that’s the case but you don’t really have anything to apologize for.

I'm a bit puzzled by all the posters saying it wouldn't have been suitable 20 years ago, as if 20 years ago women all dressed in long sleeves and high neck for every occasion and ankles were something that stayed firmly under your sensible skirt.

In fact 20 years ago that sort of dress would have probably been seen at loads of weddings.

It was 2003, it's not as if your Victorian aunt was going to pop out of the woodwork, clutch her pearls and have a touch of the vapours.

@pigsDOfly me too. The 90s was a wild time of ladettes 😂😂, they clearly weren’t around then.

It's definitely more party than wedding but not to the extent of being inappropriate. At a push a few older people may have raised an eyebrow. But I'd be surprised if anyone (including bride) remembers what you wore.

The dress is fine

If this is all you've had to worry about for 20 years, think yourself lucky.

You jest OP
but get rid of the white lace and my SIL and SN ( her daughter) wore something very similar to my mums funeral.
Bit shorter though.